WARNING: This blog uses adult language. You have been warned.
Before this episode aired, my girlfriend had a death of a friend of the family and since we watch it together it took us a few days to get to it. It was all I could do not to watch, but since it is for both of us, I held my hand off the play button for a few days until she got past her grief. That being said, I didn’t look at any spoilers, reviews, clips, etc. I have to say, this is the best episode yet. The characters are getting better, the action is there, the back story and the setting are getting bigger, and more developed, and there’s a lot going on in this one. Oh, and there’s a scene with Mr. Moony Eye and Claire that is hot because both of them are about one inch from doing a full on Wocka Chicka Wow Wow on the table in her surgery. But more on that later. Lets get to the recap, shall we?
1. We start off with Frank and Claire on a train platform, and I won’t make any references to Harry Potter because it’s just to easy, and what do you folks take me for anyway, a hack. Hey, there goes Hermione Granger! Lol. Anyway, he’s saying goodbye to her, which is totally awkward because he’s supposed to be the man who goes to the front and leaves little lady back home tending the garden and hoarding ration stamps. But no, after a hug and a kiss and a grabass on the platform, she leaves into a shroud of mist on the Hogwarts Express to the Front Lines, vowing she will come back to him. (Which she does, but then a few weeks later gets hurtled through some time travel stones on the top of a wicked looking hill to the 1700s so he’s going to have to wait another three years. Poor Frank.)
2. Then it’s on to the bath, where Mrs. Fitz is pouring cold water over her head and dressing her. Claire’s says, “hey, I can dress myself, so you don’t have to do that, you know?” but Mrs. Fitz (probably another spy for Bendy Leg Mackenzie) is all like, “Och, No, dearie, I have to. Otherwise I don’t have anything else to do in this series and they’ll write me out of it.” Then Claire says, “Oh, by the way, don’t take this wrong or anything, but you know the stones on Craig Na Dun?”
Fitz: “Yeah, I know of them.”
Claire: “I totes fell through them, and here I am. I’m from 1945. So can you do me a solid and help me back there?”
Fitz: “GET AWAY FROM ME FOUL DEMON, WITCH SHE’S A WITCH! She turned me into a newt!”
Claire: “No, really it’s true, don’t you remember the bra from last week?”
Fitz: “Get away from me demon!” signs of the cross, reaching for a rosary and then
3. BANG! It was just a dream or something. And there she is, just sitting there getting combed all nice by Mrs. Fitz and talking like ladies do. Fitz is telling her of the gathering and that there’s going to be a lot more people here, so get to work doctoring those folks Claire because that’s yer freakin’ job, and I have a lot to do so get to it. By the way, if you do it right, Mr. Bendy Legs will like you and give you a little more freedom and no mistake.
4. Then it’s on to Surgery Montage, where Angus is watching her. Or Rupert, or Shagger of Wee Beasties I guess. One of those two. Anyway, I haven’t figured them out yet, but I can only imagine another show called Rupert and Angus where the premise is they solve crimes in the 18th century and at the end of every episode sit down by a fire with a mug of ale. Anyway, she’s trying to figure out what to do with Bee’s bottoms, wood lice, human skulls, and other odd bits of herbs and spices while the guys watch her and Dagger fuck her from behind. I mean, come on guys, show a little respect, alright? (but I did laugh, I have to admit.)
Quick note about Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ: I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not really buying it from Caitriona, and not because I don’t like her acting (which is great by the way). The thing is, I got used to Davina Porter saying it, and her inflection is perfect, as it always makes me laugh. I’m sure the writers are putting it in there because it’s one of Claire’s Patented sayings, but it’s not working yet. And to put it in almost every episode cheapens it somehow. I hope they don’t get into the habit of making it into a catch phrase, because then it’s going to be part of a drinking game and you don’t want that, Mr. Moore, just look at “Make it So” and “Engage” and “Tea, Earl Grey, hot!”
5. So Rupert and Angus are drinking, she goes to scold them, and in the kitchens there’s a girl who breaks a glass or something. Claire’s all like “What’s her deal?” and Mrs. Fitz says, rather nonchalant, “oh, she’s just a chambermaid, she lost her son yesterday.” to which I said, “Wait, she just had a son die and they made her get back to work the next day? Who did that?” and then she said, Colum and I instantly hated him. I mean who does that? “hey, I know you just lost your son, but my shit needs carrying out, so get to work. Oh, stop crying, you can have another one. I mean, hell, I could help you out with that you wanna stick around.” So Mrs. Fitz tells Claire about the Black Kirk and how the boys went up there and got possessed by devils. Claire’s like, “wait, what? You people still believe in that hokum?” Then she gets called to tend to Mr. Bendy Knee Mackenzie and leaves. Before that though, she tells the Crime Fighting Duo to pick up her medicines from the steps in her surgery and help clean up. To which they look at each other, nod, and pour more ale. Great work fellas, love you already.
6. Okay, then we go to Himself’s chamber, and I’ll spare you all the gory details because it involves ugly legs and hairy man ass. Not that I have a problem with that, but it’s a quick scene. And there’s a Tailor there from the city who opens his mouth and inserts his foot about the size of the coat he made for Mr. Bendy Legs. I know it must be hard having and infirmity like that, and having people mock you and make fun of you for it, but damn, do you have to pull a knife on a guy and threaten his life? Calm down, take a chill pill, dude. It’s okay, the dude’s heart was in the right place. Then it’s off to the great hall where Dougal tries to make another move on Claire by being nice to her. Awww, trying to get that, Dougal? Because I believe she already has the hots for one red haired hunk of a Scot.
7. So there’s a bard in the great hall and this is where it gets funny. I mean, I chuckled all through this scene with the dynamics between Leghair, Jamie, and Claire. So Claire goes to the great hall to listen to Gwyllin the Bard. He’s no Sting of course, but his music serves as a lovely soundtrack to the action during the scene. Anyway, Leghair is sitting there, waiting for Jamie and looking around for him and all that, and Claire sits down. Leghair is all like, “Pleased to meet you, NOT” but makes nice anyway in a bitchy sort of way. Jamie shows up and all he wants to do is talk to Claire, and Leghair is all pouty faced because he’s not giving her any attention. In fact, he’s kind of being a dick toward her, but it’s plain all he wants is miss Heaving Bosom next to him. Awww… poor Blondie, have you been spurned by Mr. SquareJaw McTavish? Meanwhile, Claire is getting drunk on that wonderful Rhennish, and Jamie notices. So, he hands the cup she’s drinking from to Leghair and says, “hey, put this back in the kitchen on your way out, baby doll. I’m going to go off with Claire to give her my Patented Moony Eye Stare once more.”
8. WHEW! This scene is sooooooo hawt! Brian Kelly deserves a shout out for his wonderful directing here. And the acting between Sam and Cait is amaze balls. This one had me panting at the end of it, just like Cait’s sigh. H needs his dressing looked at as much as the man in the moon, and she knows it. But there is so much sexual tension here, it’s boiling. I’ve gone back and watched it about four times and every time I’m left thinking, God, I wish I could stare at somebody like that. The way he looks at her could melt steel and I can imagine every woman watching that scene were as wet as the ocean at high tide. So they say their farewells, he walks up the steps and she just sits there and sighs like she’s just walked out of a Dove Bar commercial. I said, “Congratulations, you’ve just had your first Eye Fuck from Jamie Mc SquareJaw Mackenzie. How did it feel? Pretty hot, huh?” I hate you Jamie Fraser. You give all guys a bad name. would you please have a fucking flaw ALREADY?!
9. And then, flowers in springtime for everyone. Which is a great segue from the action before hand. Another great directing choice, Mr. Kelly. Claire goes to the garden and meets Geillis Duncan. My first thought is, What is that woman wearing? Lotte Verbeek is good, and it’s an interesting role. I’m not going to spoil anything here, but it’s a hard part to play for anyone, because there’s a lot of dimensions to her, which we will find out over the course of the next few seasons. For right now though, we will just have to wait and see. Anyway, they talk about the kids and find out there’s another boy who everyone thinks is possessed. Geillis tells Claire to stay out of it, that this is just how these people think, and there’s nothing you can do about it anyway. So what does Claire do? Tromps off to the kid’s house to see if there’s anything she can do for him.
10. BANE: (a definition) Webster’s says the following: a cause of harm, ruin, or death. I.e. Father Bain. This guy is a douche bag on the highest order of douchebaggery. So Claire comes in, tries to help the kid who they have strapped to the bed. Mrs. Fitz is there, saying there’s nothing you can do for the kid because he’s possessed. Claire is all like, “Why do you people think people who are sick or poisoned are possessed, you simpletons?!” Then Mr. Clean shows up and starts his exorcism, sprinkling the kid with holy water, like that’s going to do any good. Father Bane (I know that’s not the spelling but that’s how I feel about him) pushes her out of the way and Claire leaves, hoping the boy doesn’t die and wondering what she can do for him. Claire, sometimes you have to let these folks do their thing. I know its hard, but you’ll get over it, ken?
11. So she’s back at the castle and trying to figure out what to do about possessed kid who’s just sick, and she sees Jamie and Leghair come into an alcove kissing. He looks up and sees that he’s been caught, then smiles and figures, “In for a penny, in for a pound” and just goes back to kissing the girl. You can tell he’s just having a good time with here and not really into it because it’s not really kissing, just playful pecks with no passion behind it. But still, she’s visibly upset.
12. Upset enough to make fun of Jamie at dinner that night. More flirty banter and sparks between these two, and playing footsie now too. Awww, Jamie needs a real woman, not some girl who’s going to be immature all her life (Dude, you have no idea. No spoilers or anything, but readers of the series know what’s going on with Leghair and they already hate her, with good reason)
Side note: I feel sorry for Nell Hudson. She got the unenviable part of probably the worst piece of trash Diana Gabaldon has ever created. It will probably be her only acting gig in future, simply because the character is so fucking repellent. It can’t be easy playing a person that a significant majority of readers hate with a passion. Just do good with it, that’s all I’m saying. And I pray your career goes forward after all this is over, because it’s going to be hard to erase the stain of this role.
13. She goes outside and starts crying because she misses Frank. Dougal invites her to go to the town to see Geillis and get more supplies before the gathering. So the next day they ride into town. She goes to see Geillis. They start talking about father Bane and Claire’s all “I don’t get these people. Where I’m from they don’t do stuff like this.” Then there’s a right good stramash in the town square and here’s Father Bane dragging a kid toward the fiscal’s house. Apparently the kid got caught stealing food from the local baker and now he’s going to lose a hand. Geillis says, “yeah, my husband has a stomach problem or something so he’s upset.” Claire says “that’s barbaric, can’t you do something about it?” And Geillis says, “okay, let me see what I can do“. So the Fiscal comes in, (anybody think it was the same actor playing the tailor from earlier?) He is obviously not feeling well and so she gives him some peppermint for his bad stomach and he promptly starts farting just as loud as the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles. Then she seduces him into just nailing the kid’s ear to the post and everybody is happy.
14. Nailing an ear scene makes me sick for some reason. It just looks so painful. But I’m a guy, so soldier on, right? Geillis and Claire talk for a bit about herbs and spices and what makes a good fried chicken recipe. (not really but I just had to try a bit of humor, right?) Jamie comes up and gets Claire to go back to the castle and saves her from the questions about where she came from by Geillis. (hey, witchy woman, you’ll find out soon enough don’t worry.) *********SPOILER ALERT******* (Okay, when Claire says Stranger in a strange land, which is a book written in 1961, shouldn’t Geillis have picked up on that seeing as how she’s, well, you book readers know… However, the problem I have is that Claire wouldn’t have known about that book or that saying since she came back in 1945 so I guess I’m nitpicking more than anything here. never mind me, I’m just a guy who reads a lot of sci fi having a nerd fit.) They go outside and see the kid still nailed to a post. Claire comes up with a plan where she will faint, thereby taking all the onus off of what Jamie has to do by pulling the nail out of the kid’s ear and sending him running on his way. He’ll be okay, it’s just cartilage, it’ll grow back. Bet you won’t be stealing any more bread to feed your starving family anymore though, you rapscallion.
UPDATE: I love the fact that the internet is so immediate, thus alerting me to a mistake in the paragraph above. Allow me to explain; I am at heart a fantasy Sci Fi reader. my relationship with the bible is spotty at best, even after being a minister’s son. yes, I have read the bulk of it, but when I heard this phrase, Stranger in a Strange Land, my immediate thought was of the novel, and not the book of Exodus. So, I apologize to anyone who may have been offended or wished to correct me. I appreciate the comments I have had about it, and if anyone follows this blog in future, please feel free to point out my mistakes. I would like to think I have a halo and wings, but I am still human so it will happen from time to time. thanks again. enjoy the rest.
15. Then, the pair go back to the Black Kirk, where the trouble started with the possessed kids. Jamie tells her about all the stuff attached to the ruins, about how kids used to come up here because its supposed to be haunted. Claire confronts him about demons and superstitions, and he says he’s not really superstitious but a lot of folks around here are simple uneducated hill folk so they believe in the legends because of all the kids who get possessed here and die. She finds out what the kids eat and Jamie shows her a plant that he thinks is wood garlic but she knows is Lily of the Valley because she watched a marathon of Breaking Bad and knows what that shit is. She tells Jamie what it is and that it doesn’t grow here. But then he says the Germans brought it here and she’s all like, “Damn Germans!” Then she runs off to the boy’s house to cure the kid of poison.
16. Back at the house, she bursts in to find Father Bane giving last rites to the kid who is about to die. Claire tells Mrs. Fitz about the poison, says she knows what to do, and asks to let her take over because Father Bane is doing such a marvelous job with the exorcism. Father Bane gets in a tizzy about it, and Fitz comes to Claire’s rescue by giving the good Father Mr. Clean a good what for about who’s house this is and what he should do next. “This ain’t over yet, bitch!” he says to Claire (and it’s not by the way) and Claire saves the boy with her sophisticated twentieth century medicinal technique.
17. After all is said and done, she’s saved kids, helped Colum, they still won’t let her leave. Yeah, baby doll, yer stuck. So, later on that night, the bard is playing again, and singing a song about a lass that gets thrown through the stones, meets a bunch of strangers, then goes back through into her own time. So it can be done, dinna fash, lass. Just bide your time, help out the peeps you’re with and enjoy the ride. Nudge nudge, hint hint, say no more!
My initial impressions were just of that one scene where Jamie gives her the business with his eyes. My girlfriend says he has some kind of IT factor and thinks he’s dreamy. You know, Mr. Heughan, you have a lot of nerve being so hunky and buff and having those sad sexy man eyes. That’s all I have to say about that, and I’ll leave you with this week’s Jamie Fraser Mooney Eye pic.
Jean-Paul Pare' Author 
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