Episode 4 The Gathering

WARNING: This blog uses adult language. You have been warned.

Finally got to watch the show after a couple of days, this time with my son. The reason it takes a few days to watch is because I have to wait for another person to view it, either my son or my girlfriend or my sister, because I watched the first episode by myself and everybody had a hissy fit because they wanted to watch with me. The only problem being everybody I watch the show with is a talker! And I hate that! Ugh! Stop asking me questions, and just watch it dammit. I’m going to clue everyone who does this in about something, and please hear me out.

IF YOU TALK DURING OUR FAVORITE SHOW OR MOVIE WE WILL CUT YOU!

Okay, you’ve been warned. That goes for husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, sons, daughters, mothers, or anyone else who asks things and talks during the first viewing. Don’t ask “Why is he doing that?” or say, “I would have slapped her” or anything else like that during the show. It’s hard enough to understand without you yammering on about Claire’s bust line and if she’s going to fall out of her dress (which would be cool by the way, but I’m a guy so whatever. No offense. Of course, with some of you ladies drooling teenager saliva over Jamie Fraser, I don’t feel obliged to apologize at the moment. You know who you are…). All I’m saying is that at the first viewing, pretty much anyone who loves this series is going to want to have a quiet house. They want to focus on everything. Now after the first viewing then you can chat us up because we know what’s happening, but that first time we are still virgins so you have to go easy on us… or not, as the case may be.

Anyway, on to the recap because that’s why you’re here, not my pissy little rant filled with thinly veiled sexual innuendo.

Also, this one might be long and in depth because a lot of stuff happens, and I might get a little serious here and there so there’s that.

1. First complaint of the recap. I’m not sure if they are doing this deliberately, and it’s a minor nitpick because it goes by so fast, but do we have to see Frank and Claire in the car at the beginning of every “Previously on Outlander”? you passed through the stones, we get it. There’s very few newbies here, STARZ so can we dispense with the car riding scene? I know, small nitpick but I had to put it out there.

2. Oh my god, my son’s hooked. So the theme song comes on and he starts singing along. What have I created?!!! I asked him how he knew it, and he says, I’ve watched every episode like four times. Can I get that as my ring tone? Jesus H Roosevelt Christ, he’s hooked. So this goes out to you guys who may be on the fence, you can watch it it’s okay, nobody will think you’re gay or anything. Lol

3. Speaking of Guys watching the show, this was a totally guy centric episode. It had hunting, and fighting, and bloody death, which was sad and somehow beautiful at the same time. More on that later. But yeah, guys, this was the episode to watch. The gathering had guys in kilts swearing oaths of allegiance to Colum Mackenzie, fights with sticks in the courtyard, hunting boar with spears and muskets. I mean, how could you watch this episode and not feel your testosterone spiking through the roof? Get your guy friends to watch it, tell them it’s like game of thrones, only Claire is a lot more sexy than anyone on that show.

SIDE NOTE: Speaking of Game of Thrones, something occurred to me the other day while I was at a stop light. Is it me, or is everyone on that show a bit too “Clean”? For a medieval fantasy show there’s a lot of clean people running around. Everything on Outlander is so “Dirty” and grubby. The clothes, the castle, the grounds, the horses, the people. And it shows in the Production Design. One of the reasons I get immersed in the show is the verisimilitude and Outlander captures that. I know GOT is supposed to be about highborn ladies and gents, but in the process of the series they go to some places that should be dirty but aren’t. It’s like everything has been sanitized for your protection. Am I the only one to see this? Take a look at both of them side by side and you’ll see what I mean, I hope.

4. No wonder it was good. Another Brian Kelly episode. Getting chased by children through the woods, meanwhile putting out little Hansel and Gretel breadcrumbs. Good idea, but you know nothing Claire Randall. These guys aren’t going to let you escape. At all. Like never. So give it up girl, you ain’t getting back to the stones. Not for a while. So just deal with it and live in grubby Scotland for a few more years. Don’t worry, it’ll be a lot more exciting than being Frank’s Wife. I mean, hell, given the two, I think we know which one any woman in her right mind would pick. Am I right ladies? Frank is just too much a man…. Lol. Yeah, see what I did there?

We get to see under a kilt, only it’s not the kilt we want to see under is it ladies? Angus, get out of the way! Ugh! Let me say something about Angus and Rupert in this episode. I Love these two. It’s the Abbot and Costello of the Outlander World. I am in the process of making a video to post in a few weeks with cuts from the show with these two so look for that. I can’t wait to see more hijinx. Fighting over the ladies and drinking ale, meanwhile solving crimes around the castle, it’s the Rupert and Angus Show. And the look on Rupert’s face when he draws the wrong stick was priceless. “I have to follow this woman around all day? Jesus Mary and Bride!”  

UPDATE: I have taken a few comments about my misuse of Rupert and Angus, and for all who have pointed this out, thank you. I do often make mistakes where these two are concerned, and if this bothers you, I apologize. One of these days, I will go back through all of the shows and edit these posts where appropriate. While you’re reading, however, If you see a slight mistake, please just insert or revert either name where it fits. It may be a few days for me to fix my error, and I hope you will forgive me and just keep laughing. Hell, laugh at my mistake as well. I Never take myself seriously, and I don’t want anyone to take these recaps seriously either, I mean, you can, but we are all here for a bit of humor, and like my father says, “If you aren’t laughing, you aren’t living.” So, Carry on. Thanks for the suggestions and notes. It really helps.

6. By the way, I’m glad we’re finally getting to see Strong Self Assured Claire. The Mousy I Don’t Know What’s happening Claire was starting to get on my nerves. It seems like she’s finally getting into the whole castle life thing. One of the things that I have always loved about her is her adaptability. It didn’t take her long to get her bearings once she decided to get with the program. Is she there all the way yet? No, but she’s starting to understand what the deal is. The only problem she has now is that she hasn’t given the 18^th century a chance yet, and so she still seems to be stuck in her 20^th century mentality. It’s like when a Yankee goes to the South and thinks they’re smarter than the locals. No, Hon, we may be rural, but we ain’t stupid. How do you think all those castles and towers and villages got created, in the middle of plagues, famine, disease, and dangerous animals? They’re a lot smarter than you think. You’ll get it, don’t worry. I see a spanking in your future…

7. Poor Rupert. What a sad sack, eating the apple, thoroughly bored out of his skin. Missing all the festivities. Poor guy. Meanwhile, Claire is stocking up and getting a horse ready to make her Great Escape. So she goes to the stables and finds out some things about Jamie. But she’s too daft to understand it. Just like in episode 2, and just like what I was saying earlier, she hasn’t spent the time to invest in her new surroundings. This is another reason I like second and third viewings because I don’t pick up on things the first go around. She’s looking for a horse, and asks about Jamie. Old Alec says, “Don’t you worry about him, best to leave him alone during the gathering, and don’t look for him.” Instead of asking “What’s up?” she just goes about her business. Duh.

8. I had to pause the show a couple of times during this point because I kept hearing 40’s music. I thought, “Hey, we aren’t playing Fallout 3, are we? Is the old lady in the next apartment playing 40’s music?” And then I realized it was on the show. What gives? It was a tad disconcerting with the voice over hearing it, but I understand. She’s thinking she’s going home and thinking of the music of home at the same time. It was just weird somehow. I’m still on the fence, and I hope they don’t do it anymore. I pray this is an isolated event.

9. Geillis! (said like Seinfeld’s Newman!) Damn that woman shows up in the strangest places. I do have to say I liked what she was wearing, rather than the Grey Fur Jacket on Backwards Crazy Witch Hair Geillis. This outfit made her look almost normal. And I like the well put together hair. She actually looked rather fetching, in a weird sort of way. The only thing I hate is she keeps fishing for information about Claire like a drug addict wondering if his buddy has any weed. “Are you pregnant? Why the stock of food? Is your husband dead? What gives?” Geillis, why don’t you come out and ask her already. You fucking know she’s a traveler, just look at her fine skin and curly locks and the way her skin shimmers in the light. Just come out and tell her, for god’s sake! Ugh! I like the hint about the Valerian root. I’ve had Valerian before, as an anti depressant. Just the pills, never in raw form, and I can tell you it calms you down rather quickly. So I can only imagine what it would do. This is another thing I never noticed at the first viewing. Then she goes on, “I came here, without anything and used my feminine wiles to get a milquetoast of a man to marry me so I could poison him, get involved in local politics and have my freedom to have sex with anyone I wanted to all the while keeping my husband sedated so he wouldn’t paw all over me all the time, and fart. Oh my god, he farts all the time and the smell, well, Brimstone ain’t just the name of your horse.” Then they share their goodbyes and Geillis says, “Watch yourself out there, because you’re going to try to escape and I totes know it.” looking back over her shoulder, thinking “We ain’t seen the last of each other yet, lass, and no mistake.”

 

1. 10. Rupert gets the girl after all! Yes! Angus is all like, “ahh, well, the best man wins, aye?” Shrugs his shoulders, takes another drink, like, “Eh. No worries”. She’s walking around with a basket of onions thinking how she’s going to get rid of the crime fighting duo and sees a conveniently placed knife. Tries to grab it then, Mrs. Fitz! (another Newman moment). Dammit, will everyone let her alone so she can get out of this dirty castle and escape already? Gees! Claire’s all “I can’t go to the ceremony because I’m an outsider” and Fitz says, “You’re the guest of honor lass, you have to go. And you will have to wear something that shows off your cleavage a bit more than that!” or something to that effect because the next time you see her she’s got her Miracle Bra thing on pushing her boobs up to her fucking chin. (and I like it!)

11. CAMEO ALERT 1: I didn’t see the Ron Moore cameo the first time, but watching castle life, there he is, dressed in fine noble coat and looking awesome, like one of the guys, just standing there talking. By the Way, Thanks for bringing this to TV. You’re making this show so much better than I thought it would be. Keep up the fine work.

12. CAMEO ALERT 2: Diana Gabaldon (without whom any of us would be here, and thanks to you Mrs. G for bringing us all together) is Great! The dynamic between her and Mrs. Fitz is hysterical. But Mrs. Fitz, do you have to be so catty? “You wore that dress so well to the last gathering.” Bazinga!  (I notice that Mrs. Badland isn’t in any more episodes from reading her IMDB profile. Coincidence? lol)

Then Himself comes in. WOW! Sorry to call you bendy legs Mackenzie earlier, because he is looking like a noble lord. The hair, the outfit, the regal bearing. My son says, “Who’s that?” and I told him, and he’s all like, “Oh my god, it doesn’t even look like the same guy!” which it didn’t. Kudos to the costume department. I would love to have been in wardrobe as an actor when they finished up with that look and then see myself in the mirror and say, “Yeah, that’s it, right there.” Dude has all my props, really. And to have TL Syndrome and stand there all night while guys give their oath of fealty to you and drink sip after sip of whiskey or whatever it was in that bowl. Yeah, man, you have all my respect now. No wonder you’re the Laird of the castle. Tulach Ard! Love the Pre Game Coaching speech. “Now go out there and win one for the Mackenzie!”

I have to say something about Dougal. Every time I think he is a cool guy, he goes and does something that just pisses me the fuck off. He’s the first to swear allegiance, naturally, and then goes out after that and downs a whole bottle almost, gets drunk and then we don’t see him anymore for a few scenes. In the book (and I know, I’m one of those “That didn’t happen in the book” people for a moment.) he steps up to the podium, does his thing, then stands next to Colum and does the whole ceremony like that. But it’s just a nitpick so I’m going to let the show do it’s thing.

15. Claire says, “Seen one, seen them all,” and dodges out the castle only to be met with Angus. I like how Murtaugh was explaining everything to her and then Iona shushed him. “Hey, Don’t talk to people while they’re reading my books! Damn, have you no respect?” I’m thinking Iona is going to have a small part in one of the future novels, whether it’s a John Grey or a Big Book and that would be awesome. Angus, poor wee lad. Guy can’t catch a break with Claire around. “If I have to spend one more bloody minute in the bloody castle, I’m going to bloody scream! And here’s this guy following me around like a leech!” Angus is like, “Dude, Rupert got himself a lass, let me just try to find one of my own, would ya? I mean, give a poor dirty shagger of wee beasties a chance!” and she’s like, “well, okay. Here. Have this Port, you’ll like it. It’s going to knock your socks off, yeah? Because I put Valerian root in it and you’ll be sedated. So drink as much as you want because I don’t want anyone following me because I have to get out of this bloody fucking castle already!” and he takes it because like most highlanders, he’s a dirty drunk and likes any kind of alcohol, yeah?

Leghair! (another Newman moment) Jesus, can’t the woman just escape already?! Kid’s all like “Can you make me a love potion for Jamie because he’s a dreamboat and I have to have him, please?” and Claire’s thinking, “He’s just not into you. God!” and then goes and gets horse dung for her, tells her a Wizard of Oz incantation and gives her best wishes all the while thinking, “if you think that’s going to work, you’ve got another thing coming there, kitten.” then is all like, “Gotta go, see ya, bye!”

Then she’s making her way to the stables and Dougal! (another Newman moment) well, first it’s a bunch of guys who want to paw all over her, but then Dougal shows up and rescues her which is Cool Dougal.

Then he goes and starts kissing on her which is Douchebag Dougal. So she does the only thing she can, bangs him over the head and knocks him out. Then runs like hell to the stables where she gets almost to the horse and falls on

18. Jamie!( ANOTHER Newman Moment) JESUS H ROOSEVELT CHRIST! And she did it right this time! Finally! And he’s all like, “Nope, just me, Mr. Dreamboat. What are you trying to do, escape?” and she’s all like, “you’re just a bunch of drunken hillbillies how hard can it be? I’ll have a head start, and you people will be drunk in the morning, so there’s that, yeah?” Oh, Claire, how naïve and foolish are you. Really? Don’t underestimate these people. They are smarter than you. They are always five or six steps ahead of you, you do know that, right? So she resigns herself that she can’t escape. So then she tells him all about the Dougal Encounter and he’s like, “Dinna fash yourself, he’s a drunk anyway. And it’s not like he’s going to say anything about it. I mean what can he do, ‘This bitch hit me because I was trying to assault her ladyhoood!’ But it would have been cool to see him go down like a Mike Tyson opponent.”

19. So they’re on the way out to get back to the castle when all of a sudden, Angus and Rupert solve the mystery of the Missing Mackenzie, like the Hardy Boys, knock Jamie out to take him back to Uncle Bendy Legs Mackenzie and swear an oath. But there’s a funny story about that, actually. I’ll let Murtaugh explain because he’s so good at it.

“Ya see, lass, ya fucked up when you tried to escape because if he swears his oath he’s going to have a problem with Dougal because everyone sees Jamie as the next Himself, instead of Dougal, who will want to kill him straight away. If he doesna swear his allegiance, everyone here is going to draw daggers and kill him where he stands for being an enemy so you’ve kind of put the lad in between a rock and a harder rock, ya ken?”

“So it’s my fault for being a whiney bitch and trying to escape the castle then?”

“Oh aye, it is. But dinna fash, he’s the main character, and a dreamboat to boot so it’s all going to work out fine. In the meantime, here’s a picture of Jamie without his shirt on.”

1. 20. So, Claire, feeling good about yourself? Huh? Should have asked old Alec what gives with the McSquareJaw kid, huh. But that’s okay, because Jamie comes up to Colum and says, “Yo, I’m not a Mackenzie, but I am kind of, in name, and I’m not going to swear allegiance or anything because if I do, that one there will give me the evil eye and try to kill me with an axe to the head again, and if I don’t then all those guys behind me will stab me with the swords they just drew, so I’m going to roll a nat 20 on my diplomacy skill check (yeah, it’s a D&D Reference) and say, as long as I’m here on your lands I’ll do what you want and defend your castle, because I’m just that cool, okay daddy-o?” And everybody is waiting to either stab him or take an axe to his head, and then Colum is all “Sure that works for me” and everybody puts their swords away and then Jamie McSquareJaw takes the bowl of whiskey and drains that shit like it’s cool. To which everyone sighs and slaps him on the back and takes him into the family fold. Leaving Dougal to sit there and say, yeah, you just watch your back boy-o, you’ll get yours. Then we get a shot of Angus, fucked the fuck up. “Yah, crime solved, I’m getting’ plastered.” must be loving the port.

21. Then it’s a hunting we will go. And just like the tree huggin’ liberal Yankee, Claire’s all like, “Why are you going out hunting, its so horrible, and awful to the animals.” And Rupert says something to the effect of, “Dude, this is how we feed ourselves, eh. There’s not some big supermarket we can go buy it already cut and caught. We have to do it ourselves, because otherwise we go hungry.” Then they go off into the woods and bang on shields and scare up a bunch of boars and do all kinds of manly things until one of them, Geordie, gets cut down and gored pretty bad. Dougal steps up and tries to comfort him, but Claire does that Florence Nightingale thing, reminds the guy of home and then he dies thinking “That’s what my heaven looks like.” And I don’t want to trivialize this moment, because I can imagine what it’s like holding somebody who is dying in your arms. It’s not fun, and I speak from experience, though it happened a long time ago and that’s all I have to say about that. It’s a rough ordeal and I actually shed a tear for Dougal in this moment because I knew what he was going through. Its almost as if you can feel the life of the person you’re holding flow through you on It’s celestial journey. Sorry to get all deep and metaphysical but there you go. Even now writing this I get choked up. You can just go ahead and nominate Graham McTavish for an EMMY already, just on this one scene.

22. So its no wonder when Dougal goes back and sees the guys in the yard playing Shinty that he gets into it and starts taking his frustration out on everyone there. Then he sees Jamie and it’s a regular cock fight between the two for a few minutes until Jamie throws the old man over his shoulder and does his Fierce Flaming Hair Scottish Warrior Berserker Pose.

Yeah, that one.

BTW: Who invented the game of Shinty because all it looks like to me is a modified version of field hockey like an evil version of Quiddich. Is there a ball in there somewhere, or is it just a bunch of sweaty men in kilts beating each other with sticks? (no offense to those out there who play it or anything, just sayin’)

23. Dougal comes down to talk to Claire and doesn’t say anything at all about her taking a stool to his head and she’s grateful. He confronts her about seeing dying men before and she’s all like, “Dude, you have no clue. I just came from a dust up that is going to make you’re Culloden look like a schoolyard slap fight between two nerds.” Then he’s Cool Dougal again, thanks her for helping Geordie get to a peaceful place and tells her she’s getting set free from the dungeon. He’s going to take her on the road and collect rents from the local villagers and needs a cleric along to heal people on the adventure. (yeah, I know, another D&D reference. I played for 30 years, what do you expect folks?) Then it’s wake up in the morning, get on the road with Brimstone the horse for yet another adventure in 18^th century Scotland. Next week, The Rent. Which reminds me…

First impressions: I didn’t like the 40’s music. Though I understood it, it kind of kicked me out of the immersion factor for a minute, and felt a little gimmicky. Was this the best episode yet? Not really, I still like last week, but there was a lot going on, so after repeat viewings I think I’ll get a better understanding of it all. Great work by DG on the 10 second acting gig. Wish we could see her in every season, just once, like a Stan Lee kind of deal. Ron Moore has to have a speaking role though, and maybe next season, or in the second half of this season it can come to pass. Overall, it’s an A effort by everyone. It’s keeping me coming back for more, so there’s that. Also, for all the haters out there that are thinking its going too slow, just wait. The action is going to ramp up in the next few episodes until #7 (the Wedding) when you will literally hear SQEEEEES! All over the world and the internet will do a collective meltdown that night. Until next week then, I will leave you all with this week’s Jamie Fraser Mooney Eye pic of the week: