Episode 5 Rent

 

First, let me thank Diana Gabaldon for posting my blog to her Facebook site. Without her I wouldn’t have had 50x more followers this week than I did last week. You know, when I started this I never expected any more than a few hundred people to ever read or favorite, so when it exploded on social media Tuesday, I was stoked. And to get an endorsement from Herself, that was just probably the best thing that has happened to me all summer, I mean besides that time with the lady from Moscow in the alleyway, but that’s a whole other adventure…. So, thanks again for that, and I promise it won’t get to my head being mentioned by the grand dame herself. You can all expect the same quirky sense of humor and sarcasm you’ve all come to expect.

Having said that, this episode was a bit heavy and more serious than the last ones, so it may be a little light on the humor. Please forgive me if you came here for just that. I want to, but if I’m not feeling it, it doesn’t happen. There’s a lot of serious stuff here, and I don’t want to cheapen it with silly jokes and one liners just to keep my followers entertained. Just stay with me and dinna fash, the chuckles will come eventually, so if it’s not a laugh a minute, its not for lack of trying. Besides, the wedding episode will be here soon, and I’m sure that one’s going to be very light hearted. Also, it’s raining and depressing here, so maybe I should have written this on a sunnier day.

Next, and this is going to be a big one, because its not my argument, its my sister’s. She is a wardrobe mistress for several period shows, 1776 being one of them, and she’s done costuming on Broadway shows, Movies, TV, etc. Her qualms are this, and I’m quoting here. “They wouldn’t put her in the clan plaid. She wouldn’t be wearing a bustle, the only point of putting her in the miracle bra bodice thing is so we can see her heaving bosoms, and if they put her in the plaid again, I’m going to scream.” Her words, not mine. I’m not saying anything bad against the costume people, and I’m not agreeing with her, because for one, I don’t really care. And for another thing, I’m a dude, so I like the heaving bosom dress. No really, I like the heaving bosom dress. Guys, I think you will agree…. Guys?…. Hello?…. Is this thing on? Anyway, those are her complaints. Costume people can weigh in. give us the scoop of what you’re thinking. Figured you would have more smarts about it than I do. Besides, Caitriona Balfe could wear an army poncho and I’d still go crazy for her.

Okay, so those are the issues first up, so lets get to it then, shall we?

1. They took my advice and started the “Previously on Outlander” with another image. Thanks. But I still don’t understand why she has to say, “I have to get back, if it’s the last thing I do.”

2. To which, I ask, “Why would you want to?” because this episode brought in a few new characters, and one of them is the immensely beautiful and majestic Scottish countryside. Cinematography wins hands down for this episode. Every shot outside was gorgeous. If I got transported here, I wouldn’t WANT to leave, like ever. To all who live in Scotland, I can understand why you love it. All I’m surrounded by is pine trees and sea water. You folks have grand vistas and high mountains and “heather so thick you could walk all day without touching the ground.” Awww, poor Geordie.

3. We are introduced to Ned Gowan. Finally! There is one lawyer I have ever loved and respected, and isn’t it funny he comes to us in fiction? He is along for the ride to collect the rent, and he’ll accept everything except live pigs. He’s got a cough, which I think is consumption at first, but turns out it’s asthma. And she cures it with Jimson weed and he’s fine a few minutes later. He’s also a great character and has a few wonderful scenes in the next few books, so don’t worry, you’ll see him again. To book readers, you’ll probably agree his scenes in Voyager make for some of the most uproariously hysterical moments in the book.

4. This: The first scene shows us Claire staring out over a majestic loch and quoting John Donne. At this point, I have to apologize to Jennifer Aniston. Please accept my heartfelt apology that you are no longer my celebrity crush. You had your chance for the last twenty years, but you blew it when you never read my mind. (I know what you’re all thinking, “Why her?” to which I say, “I don’t know, there was something about her I was just crushing on, that’s all. Why does any man like a girl?”) My new crush is Caitriona Balfe. There are some shots in this episode that are absolutely fucking heart pounding beautiful. Thanks again, Brian Kelly for bringing out her best features and talents. She is absolutely luminous. If there’s anyone who can get me a signed picture of this woman, I would be immensely grateful. Okay, I’ll stop now because something is rising to the occasion and we don’t want that now, do we?

5. Another Guy Centric Episode, as the dudes are teasing a young member who is popping his Rent Collecting Trip cherry. Ladies, this happens. It’s a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand. Best to let boys be boys and make jokes to the newbie about having carnal relations with his sister. You can tell the guys in this scene are really having fun. It’s the first time we’ve seen Willie on the show (I think, I may be wrong so correct me if you want) and since he’s a new cast member, the veterans are having a go at him, highlander style.

6. On the road, singing ribald highlander road songs. Dougal, why is the jury still out on you? At one point I like you, and at other points in this episode I just want to punch you. The guys stop for another night of camping and there’s Claire feeling left out when the guys start telling fireside jokes. Dougal actually tells a funny story, and Graham is getting into it, and all the acting feels so real here, that it’s easy to get immersed into the story. Then they switch to Gaelic and Claire seems annoyed.

7. I’m a guy, so I understand why they do this. Claire, it isn’t to exclude you, they just don’t want to offend. Jamie comes over to her to explain this and look at her with those moony eyes again. They still don’t trust her, and I don’t think they ever will. And she’s still thinking about getting back to the stones. I really wish she would stop pouting about it though. Again, “Why do you want to leave??” But those eyes. I mean, This:  this makes my gal gasp and say, “Lordy, have mercy!” And once again, I have to say, Casting has done a great job. Perfect Jamie in Sam Heughan. Dude is fucking Killing IT!

8. So they come to a village to collect rents and Dougal is doing the Getting to Know You thing with the locals. Ned looks up and sighs. And you know what he’s thinking. “First village and what happens? PIGS?! I thought I said no pigs! Fuck me running…” Oh well, nothing to be done about it, he’s not in charge, Dougal is. And what Uncle Baldy says goes, I guess.

9. Claire takes this opportunity to get away and see the locals. She runs into Donalda Gilchrist, who puts her to work in the wonderful chore of waulking wool with actual piss. Yes, pee, from like, actual people. I know. Ugh. Production design, was that actual urine? Because it looked like urine. I know it must have been water maybe, but it looked an awful lot like piss. So yeah, you can go ahead and answer that, or not… And I love the walking song, and the way Claire bonds with the girls by getting her hands dirty; or wet, as the case may be. Minutes later, after singing while elbows deep in human bodily excrement (didn’t want to say piss again, dammit, I did it again. Piss!) she’s drinking with the gals and starts asking about the stones at Craig Na Dun. To which one of them explains, “It’s three days as the crow flies.” and I can hear the audience at that moment yell, “Which direction, hon?” that’s a pretty big area, and at this point I’m thinking, the guys aren’t telling you where they are because they don’t want you to leave. Especially Jamie MacSquarejaw hunk over there, because if you haven’t noticed it yet, he’s totally into you girl. And then Angus walks in and spoils the getting to know you party, but not before Claire friends Donalda on Facebook and follows her on twitter (handle @donaldapissgal) I know, corny going for the modern techie joke. Get off my ass.

10. Angus (and I know it’s Angus, because we’ve already had this discussion, thank you very much) comes in while Claire is sitting on the bucket getting ready to… well, you know, picks her up and starts dragging her out. And then we see I Don’t Give a Fuck Anymore Claire Randall come out. She’s hot, and you can tell. Seething, she goes to the wagon and gets the goat that Donalda has given for rent, thus making it so she can’t feed her family this winter. Rupert (and I’m sure it’s Rupert I think I can figure it out by this point.) tries to fight with her over it, at which point Dougal comes over, and this time he’s Asshole Dougal. The goat is rent payment, he doesn’t care about the family, and everybody’s screaming all at once. Dougal’s on Angus like an angry boss, asking Why he couldn’t keep an eye on her, and Claire’s all like, “dude, I’m right here!” More yelling, more creating a scene, and then Handsome English Cutie shows up and asks if everything is alright. You can hear a record screech (that’s and LP or record album for those readers under 30. See, what used to happen was that there were vinyl record you used to have to put on a thing called a record player to play music, and when you stopped them, they made this screech like nails on a chalkboard which the TV and Movie industry has used as a trope to signal everything stopping abruptly for comedic relief) and all the highlanders look at him. I’m thinking at this point, “well, here we go, another episode with a death.” But English Cutie gets the message when Angus says “None of your business, and I’d expect you to go back from where you came or there’s going to be the devil to pay, and no mistake.” or words to that effect. It was a little more graphic than that, but you get the idea. Also, Cutie’s surrounded by a bunch of kilt wearing Scots with weapons drawn and that’s never a good sign of things to come. So he backs off, goes away and puts on a Redcoat officer uniform.

At this point my girlfriend says, “This episode is going to end in a cliffhanger, just you wait. I know it, then we’ll have to wait another week. This is why I hate watching one episode at a time, because they keep you wanting more. Dammit, why did you get me hooked on this show?”

11. Later on, Dougal is in the alehouse with a bunch of folks and goes into this long speech in Gaelic. Is it me, or is anyone else getting to the point where they understand a lot of what’s being said? I heard a lot in there about Charles, and I wasn’t paying attention to the words until the third watching, but I got it. The first time I saw this scene I kinda knew what was going on because this is one scene from the books I remember. Jamie’s sitting there minding his own business when all of a sudden, Dougal rips off Jamie’s shirt, shows his scars and says, “These wounds I had on Crispin’s day” no, sorry, Shakespeare, not Outlander. “This is what the English have done, so give money to the Stuart cause because pretty soon we’re going to war.” So folks get up and start giving money to Ned, at which point daft Claire thinks Dougal is stealing money for himself. Later on Dougal, in that whole Scottish Misogynistic High Testosterone Alpha Male thing throws the shirt at Claire and says, “Mend that like good girl, would you?” She’s still pissed about the goat, and how the guys have treated her, and how Dougal has treated Jamie, so she throws it back on the ground. “Mend it your damn self!“ Dougal says “I’m not doing it,” and then Jamie gets up, pissed the fuck off at having been treated the way he has and storms out saying, “I’ll do it myself.” Dougal’s sitting there after everything’s said and done, like, “When needs must.” and I’m not really pissed at the guy anymore because I know what he’s going through and what he has to do. Only thing is, Claire doesn’t.

12. Claire, hon. Come here, let me talk to you one on one. Okay, now that we’re out of ear shot, let me clue you in on a little secret so you can catch up with the rest of us, okay kitten? Did you not notice that Dougal gave a stirring speech and used the scars on Jamie MacHunkington to show what a bad bunch of guys the English are? What’s it going to take for you to get it? Sit back and watch, keep your mouth shut, and see how this thing works out. I know you’re not up on the Gaelic, so I’ll give you a pass this one time. Just don’t let it happen again, aye?

13. Later on, Ned talks to her about the whole thing and she says what she thinks is going on. Dougal is stealing money, at which point Ned figures, “what the hell, let her think what she wants.” so he says, “You’re pretty smart. You got us all figured out. That’s right. We’re stealing from Colum.” and he’s got this smile like, “how quaint you are.” Just wait a few weeks, sweetie, you’ll figure it out.

14. So, it’s Travel Over the Course of Weeks Montage, with more stirring speeches, more shirtless Jamie (which the female fans appreciate, I’m sure) and more villages getting their rents paid in full. More drop dead gorgeous scenery… And more annoying voiceover.
SIDE NOTE: Voiceover issues. As a story teller, a TV and Movie watcher, I always have an issue with Voiceover unless it is absolutely necessary. In some it works, and in some it doesn’t. when I found out this was going to have the VO I figured I would give it a shot. I could always ignore it, and I understood when she was alone, that it may have been appropriate in some cases. But in writing scenes the dialogue and action tells the story, not a VO. All you had to do was have a small dialogue between two characters complaining of traveling for weeks. We don’t need to hear that she wants to get back. We already know that. And at this point I don’t think we need it anymore. I wish there was a way to get rid of it and see how that would work out. I’m sure the viewer wouldn’t be lost at all. But that’s just my opinion, and you know what they say about those…

15. The next scene is a little bit ugly, not as ugly as a later scene, but cringe worthy nonetheless. The group comes upon a farm where the Watch (I’m assuming the Scottish armed forces) is burning it down. Murtaugh, always the explainer for Claire (who is also the audience) says that the people have been rumored to be English sympathizers, so their goods will be taken, and home burned to the ground, because that’s apparently what happens with people in the highlands who betray their own. Jamie runs for the hills (price on his head, remember?) And Dougal goes down to the watch to collect a couple of chickens, which the group eats later on. Claire once again has a fit and refuses the chicken served to her because she’s apparently too high and mighty to eat stolen food. At which point, Angus gets in her face, pulls a dagger and flips out for no apparent reason. Hey, dude, calm down. She shared port with you a month ago, remember? What gives? I didn’t understand this from him, and Jamie comes to her rescue and calms the situation down. Even the guys around the campfire are nervous and wondering “What the hell is up with that guy?” She storms off, and just to break the tension, someone hands Rupert a bone and says “That should give you something other than your todger to put your hand around.”

16. Jamie comes over to her, and this scene isn’t intimate, and you can tell that Claire is still pissed off by Ms. Balfe’s acting chops here, because it’s so subtle but palpable. It just radiates off of her, and Jamie’s like, “Don’t worry about it, don’t upset the apple cart, just be patient and you’ll understand. Now be a good girl and keep your mouth shut and just watch. You’ll get it, I hope.” And you can tell that he really cares about her enough to explain things to her. Yet, at the same time he doesn’t want to give too much away because he still doesn’t know what the deal with her is yet. It’s a great scene, and Mr. Kelly and the writers put a lot of stuff into that 30 second snippet, it actually is one of the top five moments of this episode for me.

 

17. Claire, still not getting it. They come to a village that’s been ransacked by the English, so bad that one guy even comes up with his son, hat in hand. My girl says, “He’s going to give up his son for servitude, isn’t he?” and I’m thinking the same thing, but Merciful Dougal comes out. He says to the folks who don’t have very much to give for rent, “you’ll all be fine, don’t worry about it this year. Have all your stuff back, you’re rents are forgiven and you’ll be okay. Join me in the tavern later on and I’ll explain what’s going on.” Claire confronts him about it, and Ned says, “she thinks your stealing money for your own purposes.” to which Dougal says, “Mind your own business.” Ned looks at her with an I Told You So look.

18. So later on, she’s all moony while Dougal is once again doing the Jamie Take Off Your Shirt thing and yelling about Charles Stuart and then she remembers in a flashback about Frank explaining the Jacobite rebellion of 1745. DING DING DING!!! She finally gets it. Dougal’s raising money for soldiers, not stealing it. Duh, honey child. If you’d just get with the program and get immersed in the period, you would have gotten it by now. But that’s okay, better late than never, I guess. Later on, Jamie and Dougal are talking, and it doesn’t work out so well for the Hunkster. He starts hitting a tree, Claire and him talk about the whole incident and in a few lines says she realizes what’s been going on. It’s another tender scene, and certainly on my top five of the episodes because it shows character, and I like the chemistry between the two of them in this scene. It’s there, but just a subtle thing, with smiles and eye communication but damn if they don‘t have it, right?

19. The next scene is gruesome, I mean, yucky gruesome. Oh, I’m sorry, were you expecting all nice and happy romance with no drama or conflict? You were? Well you came to the wrong show I guess. There’s a lot going on in this story besides moony looks and smut you know. A lot of it has to do with the bad things that the English did to the Scots and this is but one example. Two bodies are crucified and it’s clearly the work of the English. Understandably everyone is upset, and they take them down and give them a proper burial. Later, Dougal, tears in his eyes, explains what happened, without the need for Jamie to bare his chest and back (sorry gals, you can’t have everything). Another Graham McTavish Emmy Episode here. If anyone has a translation of this heart wrenching speech, please send it to me or comment, because he kills this scene, just fucking kills it. Awe. You can tell he feels it, inside and out, and its not an act. Some actors can do it so well it doesn’t even look like they are, and Graham does it in every scene in this show.

20. Okay, so next up is your romance, kids. It’s later on, and Claire is sleeping all alone in the room when she hears something outside the door. She gets up and grabs a candlestick because that’s the weapon of choice when you think your room is being broken into. Then she opens it really quick, tries to surprise whoever is on the other side, and stumbles over Jamie in his Prince Valiant persona. Apparently, there’s a lot of drunk people downstairs who don’t really like anything or anyone English and to protect her he was sleeping outside her door. Awww… what a charmer. Then she says, “Don’t stay out there in the hall, it’s warmer here.” to which he appears scandalized. And the look on his face is just so funny and charming and loveable, I can hear all the women in the audience go “Awww… What a sweetie.”

oh, you know you did, don’t deny it. She’s flattered, and it’s obvious through her smiles here. He’s all like, “your reputation would be ruined. And the men would talk. I couldn’t, what do you take me for, a cad?” She goes to get him a blanket, and he’s clearly checking her out. Then it’s a touch of the hand, while she gives him the blanket, and he gives her more moony eye looks and says, “I’ll be right here.” She gulps, closes the door, and stands there gaining her composure. Congratulations, its Jamie MacSquareJaw’s eyefuck number two. Just wait till the wedding, hon. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
SIDE NOTE: The chemistry between these two is electric. I don’t know if its acting or reality but when they look at each other you can always tell, she’s one step from throwing herself at him. It seems she can barely contain herself, and its fun to watch the tension.

21. Next morning, Claire goes down to the tap room and starts telling Ned about what she knows. The Rising is going to fail, there won’t be any more Stuarts on the throne, the English army is going to massacre the highlanders, and all this is going to happen whether you like it or not. He doesn’t believe her, and she’s trying to change the future, but Ned isn’t having any of it. Meanwhile, some assholes at another table are making lewd jokes at her expense. Angus and the fellas are having none of it and he gets up and redeems himself for the other scene where he was a total asshat. He walks over, and without saying a thing smashes one of the guy’s faces in the table, then the rest of the boys follow and here we are in a right good stramash. Later, she’s inspecting the seven dwarves for injuries and asks why they had to fight. Murtaugh explains, “They called you a whore. We were defending your honor. We can insult you, but god help those who aren’t in our clan that do.” So Claire’s like a sister now, huh? Awesome.
SIDE NOTE: See, I grew up with five sisters and three brothers. If anyone insulted our sisters, we boys would beat the hell out of the offender. It’s the same thing here. We could fight amongst ourselves in the family, insult, and throw stuff, and have stuff thrown at us, (scissors, in fact… it’s a long story) but if anyone attacked ours, shit was on big time. That’s family, and in this scene, Claire’s been inducted into the family. So anyone who complains that this scene is wrong, or that the guys are treating her rudely, it’s not that. It’s just that she’s one of the guys now and no offense is meant.

22. Rupert, talking about the Pie Eater and a butcher’s daughter and who’s going to get it first. Claire makes a joke about him and everyone laughs. She has now officially bonded with the Mackenzies. Even Angus comes over a bit later when they are setting up camp and they share a moment. I knew he wasn’t a bad guy after all. Probably just stressed out from the road earlier. So she goes to the river to bathe, and Dougal confronts her. “How do you know all this about the rising?” Apparently Ned told on her. He once again accuses her of being a spy, and doubts her story ever more when in the midst of this conversation Mr. English Cutie comes back with a horde of Redcoats. He asks again, “Are you alright?” Dougal gets in the guy’s face and Cutie says, “I’m Lt. Jeremy Foster, and I will ascertain what’s going on here. Madame, are you here by your own choice. Then we see Claire thinking for a minute then BLACKOUT. At which point at 10:00 pm eastern standard time, every person watching this show yells FUUUUCCCKKK! WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR A WEEK TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS? WE CAN’T WAIT! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! Well, guess we rewind and watch again. And then my girlfriend looks at me and says, “I told you they were going drop it like that. I knew it. Dammit, I hate that!”

Yes, the first real cliffhanger of the series. Next week seems like it will be a real drama fest, and I’m not seeing anymore Jaime and Claire scenes there. We will also meet Jack Randall again, and I don’t think it’s going to be very nice. Until then, enjoy Mooney Eye Jamie Pic of the week: