Hello and welcome, everyone, to the last episode until April. I know, its hard to imagine but that’s okay, we can get through this together. Buck up! How many of us had to wait years in between big books? What’s that? Jemmy’s in the tunnel for five years? Sorry, little spoiler there. No worries, you’ll understand the context when you read the book Echo in the Bone, which leaves like, a half dozen cliffhangers? Yeah, for Outlandies like myself, that five years was a little tough. But I lived on, and had a life. So we can all do that for the next six months easy. And you’ll have me with some regular updates and more funny so don’t worry. Let me be your guide through the dark times ahead.
This was a tough episode to write about, because it involves not one, but two scenes of forced aggression to a woman, and in both scenes were hard to watch. Not “Averting my eyes” or anything, but disconcerting. Like Dougal, I don’t hold with rape. So I won’t be humorous for those scenes. I might about the characters involved, but I’m going to gloss over those parts and only talk the human element. I know a few women who have had that happen, and was in a jury during a rape trial. When you see the tears of a woman on the witness stand who has had this violent act happen to them, its clear that this incident will haunt them the rest of their lives. I don’t want to get into a discussion about it here, besides saying it’s wrong, wrong, wrong. Period.
1. First, I’m really not sure about this episode and where the direction was going. No complaints, just kind of odd they start with Frank in the police station. Love the guy answering the phone. “Yes ma’am, there’s things missing? Can you describe them? Oh, I see.” I get the sense that he was talking to old senile Grammy Hawkins who lost her silver tea set and can’t remember that her sons sold it to pay gambling debts ten years ago. He hangs up the phone with a perfunctory “yeah, we’ll send someone out, right away…” like that’ll ever happen.
The inspector who comes in is all like, “Him again?” and when sergeant pulls out a whiskey bottle and says, “It’s time I told him the truth, yeah?” I’m thinking, he’s going to share a dram with Frank and give him a heart to heart. Which he kind of does when he says, “Maybe your wife ran away with this highlander on her own volition. I mean, there can be only one…” (Yeah, I went there.)
And I love they put the detail of the Brooch and circled it when they showed a glimpse of the wanted poster on the cork board. Great work, production design people. There’s a lot of little touches like that throughout this episode. Easter Eggs abound. But I have a question about the composite. It’s clearly Jamie, right? I didn’t know that Frank got a good enough look at the ghost in EP 1. Of course, being as detail oriented as he is, I’m sure he could have remembered something in his subconscious to get it out.
The cop is insulted when Frank says “listen, you guys suck at your jobs. Can’t even find one missing woman.” and basically storms out when he sees the Scottish Inspector Clouseau put his whiskey on a handbill of Claire.
2. Welcome to the rich vibrant Scottish highlands! The scenery in this episode, like the Rent episode is awesome. Verdant green landscapes and plenty of lovely lakes! Jamie and Claire are sitting on a rock enjoying cheese, hand holding, and moony eyes with each other. Jamie says to her, “So, baby, you’ve been around the block. Not that I’m calling you a hoor or anything, but you know the men folk well. Again, no a hoor…” and she’s like, “out with it you bloody Scot!” and so he answers, “Is it always like this, the wanting to bone you? I mean, make love, err… whatever, like do it all the damn time? Like even after I’m done, I still want to mmphmm till I die.” and she’s laughing at him. Aww, poor kid. Jamie, Yes, it happens like that once you get it. Really, speaking as a guy, when you get to do the horizontal shakedown with a girl for the first time, you want to until you can’t anymore and then you want to some more. Testosterone in a twenty year old is a powerful thing laddie. You’ll also lose your mind over the girl. Pretty soon you’re dropping out of school to take a bus across country for three days just to find her and realize she’s getting married on your birthday to a strapping Marine. Yeah, that happened.
Then, Hugh Monro shows up, introducing himself by shooting an arrow in their direction. Jamie realizes it’s him when he looks at the arrow and grins.
I mean look at it! That grin should have a trailer all by itself. And that chuckle at the end of it. Okay all you ladies can swoon a moment now. Gees!
Hugh Monro, who can only talk in grunts and hand gestures. But Jamie’s there to give us a translation because apparently in addition to French, Latin, German, English, Sign Language, Russian, Doth’raki, and Conversational Klingon, he can also interpret Ugh, and Ook! as legitimate words with meaning. Hugh gives Claire a Dragonfly in Amber as a present, and I never understood how big this was until this episode. I always thought it was something small, like palm of your hand small. Odd how bits of description change from eyes on the page to brain. Just an observation. So Hugh tells Jamie, “Ook! Ook! Oooook!” and lifts up two rocks. This is meant to be some sign that this guy Horrocks, an English deserter, has information on who really killed the guy that Jamie has been accused of murdering in his escape from Fort William.
Hugh had been imprisoned by the Turks a long time ago and they cut his tongue out and put boiling oil on his legs to make him convert from Christianity, which is a little extreme, don’t you think? Of course, dealing with the world as it is today, yeesh! He’s also a fine tracker, hunter, but when they don’t work too well, he’s got a bunch of Beggar chits from different parishes that allow him to panhandle for food. (which is a great idea for a character in D&D) So Jamie is all “Hey, I gotta go find this guy and then we can go back to Lallybroch and live happily ever after kinda doing it all the time. Yeah, I’m still thinking about that.” and she hugs him, looks at her ring from Frank, and thinks, “yeah, I kinda had that ‘Happily ever after’ thing with this other guy two hundred years from now, so don’t get your hopes up buddy. Besides, you do know we’re in a Diana Gabaldon book, right? I mean, she just don’t believe in ‘Happily Ever After’. And remember, she has lunch with George R.R. Martin, and that guy certainly doesn’t believe in Happy at all. Red Wedding anyone? Yeesh!”
3. We cut back to Frank and Reverend Wakefield talking in a study about Claire once again, because of course, Frank is obsessed with finding his wife. And that’s all well and good. You don’t quit looking for someone when they fall through the stones like Claire did. Kind of feel sorry for him. I like the detail of Wakefield’s Wall. In the books (which you don’t find out about till Dragonfly) this is where Reverend Wakefield puts all of his detritus, neatly arranged in the Wakefield Mind Filing System. Wakey’s going on about washing away in a river, eating berries and fish and Frank is all like, “Dude, really? Claire eat fish? Nah, I couldn’t even get her to try that salmon the night she left.”
Meanwhile, Mrs. Graham is listening and saying to herself, “you boy’s have no idea… and I can’t say anything because I’m just the house servant and nobody listens to them. I mean, really, have you seen Downton Abbey?” And there’s Wee Roger! Yay! What a cutie. Awww, look at the kid asking for another biscuit before going up the stairs. So cutey wootie! I can’t wait to see him grown up. Hey kid, you’re wife is going to be a Stunner! I mean, Wow! Just try not to piss her off though, aye?
Then Frank leaves to get something stronger than Mrs. Graham’s tea, and she looks at Wakefield, like, “dude, are you going to let me tell him about the stones or what? Jees! You know and I know that’s where she went, just let me tell him. God, why do you have to be so daft?”
4. More Frank. Sigh…. At this point I think I’m not the only one asking for more J/C, and less Frank Randall. It’s a quick scene in which Frank is at a bar and a woman comes in and says, “yeah, I know where you can meet the highlander…. (yeah… again. Going to keep hammering this one today) and she tells him to meet her at an alley, and what he want’s to do with the highlander (nope, not again. Twice is enough) once she hands over the guy and he hands her over the cash. To which I say, “Wait a minute. Don’t the cops handle the payout? It usually takes a lot of forms and such. Of course, this is 1945 Scotland and so I honestly don’t know how that works actually.” So Frank, naturally suspicious, because, remember MI6, orders another drink because you can never be too drunk when walking into an obvious setup.
5. Ahh, Rupert the storyteller And that melodious voice of his, just telling a story. Everyone is lulled along by the music that is Rupert’s tale of the Waterhorse‘s wife. Jamie and Claire are just mooning over each other again, then the horses start to panic. Then everyone starts pulling out guns and knives and hand grenades and semi automatic rifles and nahhh, they just pull dirks and swords. Rupert is still telling the story as if nothing is happening, all the while pulling out his own weapons like he’s cool. “and the Waterhorse, his arms wide, The waterhorse, and his wife, on the ocean. Darmok and Jalad, at Tenagra!” Jamie hands Claire a dirk and says, “When you hear me shout go over to that log and hide.” “she’s like, “What? What’s going on?” and just before he can answer, the Grant’s attack.
Well, there’s a huge stramash, and I’m loving the way Dougal hacks and slashes his way through a bunch of guys like a berserker, yelling and screaming for more to fight. Ned Gowan, Feisty Lawyer, shoots one of the guys and actually hits. To which the Grants retreat, but not before getting three sacks of grain and a horse. “They didn’t get the money though,” remarks Angus, to which Ned sighs thankfully because he knows he’s going to have to do more paperwork if that happened. There’s the quarterly reports and you all know Ron in accounting is going to be anal about the 1043Bs and the Debits not matching up to the credits, and then HE’s going to have to fill out yet more paperwork which will make him late for dinner and then he’s going to have to explain to the wife about working overtime and then SHE’s going to accuse him of having sex with the coed intern Shirley “with the perfect boobs prancing around in that miniskirt all day!” and he‘s going to have to buy her flowers which is going to cost him a day‘s pay and He‘s going to be cranky as hell the next afternoon and nobody likes to see Ron cranky. So it’s all well and good they didn’t get the cash after all.
So it’s hand shakes and slapping of backs all around and we fade cut to Frank going down the back alley to get ambushed.
6. Frank meets the girl on a rainy night. In an alley. At twelve thirty AM. Did you come prepared, sir? Oh, yes you did. With a blackjack! (HA!!! Awesome! I know I’m not the only one that saw this.) so these guys jump out and then he beats the holy hell out of them because, remember MI6 training. Yeah, those guys are the ones that trained James Bond and you all know how badass that guy is. I feel for Frank at this point because here’s his first chance to really let the aggression out. He lost his wife seven months ago, and some idiot is trying to ambush him and take his stuff. It’s also a great counterpoint to the previous scene where the Grants ambush the Mackenzies. And I’m starting to see the ever so subtle brilliance of this episode. Then he grabs the girl by the throat and starts choking her and she says “..there’s no.. highlander, not even.. one. (nope…) We just wanted …your money, mister.” At which point, he stops choking her and we cut to Reverend Wakey’s house.
SIDE NOTE: What’s with the violence against women this episode? Near rapes, choking, beatings, threatening with knives, tied hands with ropes. What gives, folks? Am I the only one who noticed this? I don’t know, guess it’s just me. Maybe something to talk about on Friday.
At this point, Reverend Wakefield pulls a Yoda. “Don’t be like your great grandfather, turn away from the dark side, Frank. Trust your feelings. Anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side. Let the force flow through you, guide you. Always to the light side of the force you must stay .” Frank, in Despondent mode, says “Now what do I do? “ So Wakey’s like, “okay, so maybe if you read Sherlock Holmes, you’ll see that maybe she did run away with the highlander, because you know, there can be only one…” (he went there again. He must really like that movie) Then Frank decides, yeah, maybe I should go home after all. Don’t want to overstay my welcome. Maybe I can have a nice cozy chat with Mrs.Graham before I go.
7. Meanwhile, back in 1743, the guys all get together and decide that Claire needs a weapon of her own to protect herself. So, with Angus as the teacher, and Willie as the test subject, they go to telling her all about how to kill a guy by stabbing him in the kidneys with a skean dhu (I looked it up, this is one of the spellings, I know there are many but this one is what I picked. No comments about it please) Even Ned has one, kept hidden away in his mmphmm, which he gives Claire to use and I’m all like, “ewwww… he just gave her his junk knife” Anyway, after a few tries she gets it right. In the book, this was an extended montage and that’s what I was expecting, with all of them trying to teach her. But, oh well, can’t have everything. (no I’m not a #poutlander)
8. Frank packing up, looking at the wedding picture. Nuff said. Aww… happy couple, kinda. Looks like they’re posing and smiling for the camera. There’s no passion there. Just two people standing taking a picture. There’s no embrace, no chemistry. It’s just flat, black and white and tepid.
9. Then, there’s THIS marriage, which is anything but tepid. So our two star crossed lovers are having a bit of splendor in the grass, and Jamie’s all like, “Dude, I really like boning you,” and she’s laughing and there’s much gaiety and you just know something bad is going to happen and they are all getting into it and then, Musket to the head! Dammit, can’t a guy catch a break! Between stabbings and floggings he can’t get a break when it comes to mmphming his wife? So there’s two redcoat deserters, who have come across Jamie and Claire and one of them decides to finish the job Jamie started. He’s on top of her, trying to do the deed and she Stabs him in the kidney. Looks like all that Skean Dhu training paid off.
Jamie get’s the other guy’s attention with a knife to the throat and then goes immediately to Claire, who is shaking, in shock, and in a bad way all around because she just got near raped and had to kill a guy. I like the way this was filmed, quick edits and slow mo, from her POV, and the stark skeletal tree he takes her near, with grey clouds looming in the background. Very stark and haunting. He’s trying to calm her down, she’s going into shock, wandering around talking to herself, trying to keep it together, and I was just hoping she’d go off on him a little. But I guess that’s going to have to wait. For the Record: I love their fights. When these two argue, watch out. And I was hoping for one this episode but I guess we’re going to have to wait and see. (pout)
10. We go back to Reverend Wakefield’s to see him and Mrs. Graham arguing over what to tell Frank about the stones. And the Rev will have none of it because its hogwash and poppycock, or fiddle faddle or something like that because he’s a reverend so he can’t say “fucking bollox and no mistake” But Frank overhears and wants to hear what she has to say so she tells him. “Your wife is a time traveler, she probably went through the stones and is having a madcap life full of wiskey, hot Scottish Highlanders, and getting embroiled in plots to change political history as we know it.”
To which, Frank says, “pull the other one, it’s got bells on” and leaves.
11. Back to 1743, Dougal and the boys come running’. they see the bodies, realize it’s two deserters, and Dougal tells Jamie, “you’re not going to see Horrocks alone, we’ll all go and leave Willie with Claire because leaving a 19 year old kid to watch over a crafty sly time traveling witch is a great idea. I mean what possible mischief could she get up to while we’re gone, aye?” ( BTW did anyone else notice Murtaugh’s Eyebrows here? Jees, they should have a trailer all their own.) Meanwhile, Claire is up on the hill, mumbling to herself about uncle lamb’s cigarettes, Errol Flynn or something? And Willie’s looking on at her going, “bitch be crazy”. but I do like how he looks away when she’s wandering around half undone up top.
So it’s off to see Horrocks, where he leaves her in the care of Willie, yet again. Before they leave, he says, “stay here, promise me.” and she begrudgingly does, but is kind of upset with herself for not trying harder to get back to the stones.
So the guys leave, and a few minutes later Willie says, “Hey I gotta take a dump. You mind staying put and not go to those stones up on that hill over there?” to which Claire says, “Yeah, sure, go a long way away, down wind. That should give me enough time to escape. Thanks. See you in the history books when your clan gets wiped out at Culloden!” and then she goes through the stones and that’s the end of the show. You thought it was sixteen episodes? No. it’s only eight. Season two is another 8 episodes that deals with the other half of the book where she goes back in a Delorean and Naaahh, just joshing you. Let’s talk about the Stones scene, shall we?
12. Okay, so she realizes that she is in the area close to the Stones of Craigh na dun. And she sees them and starts running. Well, there’s this sweeping musical score and at the same time, Frank, on his way to wherever, sees the marker for the stones, stops and contemplates a minute. (love the Patton dying announced by the radio. Nice touch. Which means it’s December 21, 1945. And you all know what falls on that date. Yes, the stones are open. So, he is just about to turn around and VROOOOOOM, who passes him, but the Highlander (no, you got enough of those jokes already, settle down. Okay) because there can be only ONE. (happy now?)
He pulls in, and I love how it’s shot first of all. I didn’t really like the scene because I thought it was hokey, and I’m still not particularly fond of it. Kind of like the 40’s music in the Gathering episode. I just have a problem sometimes when the creators are trying to get too Artsy Fartsy with the production. I guess I’m a simple guy. Anyway, back to the action. It’s shot with his end being grey, lifeless, and devoid of even the most basic color. On her end it’s verdant and green and brightly lit. he’s going up the hill yelling Claire! And she’s yelling Frank, so apparently people can talk through the stones. He gets up there, he’s listening, she’s there, and then she touches and it goes black and then you see three redcoats dragging her away.
SIDE NOTE: Please indulge my #poutlander moment. Really? Sigh.. What was wrong with the book where she tried to get away and fell in a pool and corporal Hawkins saved her? I mean, I know it’s not really an iconic scene, but it was more believable (given the Suspension of belief already with the basic premise) than this Artsy claptrap. I just didn’t like it. I’m sorry, it just didn’t work for me. No offense. While it was shot brilliantly and edited great, the mere idea of the scene just did not work at all.
13. Then she’s trundling away in a wagon, going to the Evil Jack Randall’s Lair, Fort William. So she figures out a plan to deceive Randall before he know she’s there. And we get the Sandringham flashback. That’s her ammo. Well it better be fired out of a big gun kitten because you are up against one crafty gentleman.
And then there’s Fort William, which looks awesome. (yet another D&D Location for the future.) As the wagon trundles toward it I can only imagine Morgan Freeman doing a voiceover. “The first time I saw Claire Fraser, I thought she was just a twig of a gal, and I bet that bastard Randall would break her on sight. But that wasn’t th’ case. She near about broke him. Hm hm hmmm. Long and short of ‘t’all, Claire Fraser cost me three swigs of my best Whiskey that day…“
Anyway, She gets escorted in by Corporal Hawkins (at least he made an appearance, but I have to wonder, Where’s English Cutie? Whatever happened to Mr. Pouty Lips Foster after the dinner scene and almost getting pricked by Dougal? I liked that guy. Where is he to come to her rescue?)
So Randall comes in, all nice and polite, like “Hey, just forget I gut punched you a few days ago, yeah?” and she’s all like, “yeah, I’ll try to forget how you also almost raped me on our first meeting, what’s it going to be now, flogging?” and the dynamic here is funny because she’s playing it cool like, “Hey, I know all about Sandringham. Oopsie, did you spill your drink? Sorry, my bad.” And he questions her some more and finally recovers, after she goes and reties his neck tie, all smiles, and “I bet if he heard you were doing horrible things to me, he wouldn’t look the other way, now would he?”
“So what about the Duchess?” he says, recovering quickly. “She’s the one you’re actually working for, right?” and Claire’s all smiles, crosses her fingers, “Oh, yeah, she and I are like this, like Besties!” BANG! Randall: “Gotcha, kitten! There is no duchess!” Claire sees she’s had and her number is right and truly up, runs toward the door and there’s our friendly neighborhood Cpl. Hawkins barring the way. Psycho Randall grabs her, and says, “Lock this door and don’t let anyone in. even if you hear a scream, even if anyone begs, don’t open this door. Do you hear me?”
So then there’s this scene, where he ties her up, does a psycho knife thing to disrobe her front and rips open her shirt Jenny Fraser style. What the hell man? Randall, why so rapey all the time. Buy the girl a drink like a normal courtship. What’s wrong with a kiss, boy? Just give her a kiss, instead of barging strait for it like a bully! Anyway, he starts in on her, and I’ll just let you watch again because I’m uncomfortable talking about what he does to her when all of a sudden, BANG! The window bangs open and there’s Jamie with a gun pointed at Randall.
“I’ll thank you to take your hands off my wife…” he says, like a boss. And Randall just grins and chuckles and then
Black out
FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Like I said, this was a hard one to write. A future update may be better when i watch it again while i’m well rested, and after i’ve had a few weeks to go through a marathon. Which I plan on doing once i get some time. A Marathon Outlander Blog post where i take all of them and go through with an episode by episode recap of the things i missed. It may be long, but who knows. naturally there’s a few things missed from episode to episode, and with the benefit of having them all i can binge and see what i missed from week to week. So, having said that, see you guys on Friday with a bunch of memes and perhaps a Video of Rupert and angus, the Mackenzies, a crime fighting duo! Here’s your Mooney Eye Pick of the Week
Special Mention in the Friday blog for those who list every movie, book and tv reference in this post. gotta get every single one though. no cheaters…. lol
Jean-Paul Pare' Author 
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