Hey everyone! What a show. Every week I think they can’t out do themselves, and Ron & Co. amaze me once again. This one was everything I was hoping for. It had sex, murder, betrayal, and swordfights. And something wicked, does indeed, this way come.There is nothing really new to say since last week so let’s get to it, shall we?
1. Wakey wakey Claire! And what a wake up call that was. From now on we can dispense with #DowntownFrank and just go with #DowntownJamie. Let’s all try to trend that one on twitter shall we? But yes, that scene was hot. But the knocking would have given me a problem. Not Moony Eye though. He’s a champ that just keeps on going until the job is finished. Oh, and Claire’s moans here? Music. Cue the Barry White soundtrack the first five minutes, because I think “Lets get it on” would go well with this scene.
2. Who’s that knocking on my door? Murtagh. (See I spelled it right this time @chocolatarte) Way to cock block your homey. Whatever. Murtagh’s eyebrows tell Jamie that the Duke of Sandringham is coming and he should be here soon. Claire tells Jamie not to trust him because of the whole Asshat Randall situation, and when he asks how she knows, Claire is all like, “I can’t really tell you because it involves why I’ve been so secretive about where I came from thing but just trust, ya dig?” Jamie and Murtagh decide to trust her but decide to go see Ned “The Head” Ryerson–err Gowan to get some advice on what to do. Jamie is so earnest when he looks at Claire and says she will be Lady Broch Turach soon. It’s so awesome to see his sincerity here because the kid literally is so damn optimistic it hurts. He has no idea what is in store for him, and at this point when he’s giving her a vow to bring her back to Lallybroch I almost want to yell at the screen and tell him not to get his hopes up.
3. So off they go to talk to Ned and find out how to obtain a pardon from the duke. The legalese is plain here, but Ned has an idea. Register a formal complaint and bring it to the duke. Tell him that Randall has been a complete bastard to people, oh and about the two attempted rapes of Claire, the whipping, the murder of his own man, etc. I’m sure that list will be a whole book by the end of it because Randall is such a miserable douche bag. And that’s being nice. There are other things I could say but we all know the man so I’ll let you use your imagination here. The gist of the conversation is that with the list of complaints, Randall will be given a court martial and live in disgrace the rest of his life. Murtagh wants the bastard hung, but we all know that isn’t going to happen. With this in mind, Ned can use his oratory skills to get Jamie’s pardon. This will all take a while, or never, as the case may be but it raises Jamie’s spirits. The look on Jamie’s face is awesome. This kid is so damn hopeful.
4. While the boys go out to play, Claire has to find a certain teenage girl we all know and love to hate. I really don’t know what to say about Leghair. Sure, she’s a teenager, but damn if she isn’t the biggest bitch in the castle. Nell Rose Hudson knocks this one out of the park. But she doesn’t know who she is dealing with. Claire has seen the worst of things, and isn’t going to let a little kid get the better of her. So Claire confronts her, while Mrs. Fitz is trying on an apron. When Legwhore sees Claire, you notice an audible gulp in her throat like, “Aww hell, I’m busted.” and she tries to lie when confronted about the ill wish doll. She is all, “You don’t deserve him, he’s mine!” and then the girl goes over the line. She calls Claire an English bitch and then this. “I bet he has to get swiving drunk in order to plow your field.”
Aww hell no! And this happens.
Which was totally justified by the way. That’s when I lost all respect and liking for this character. She just went way overboard, standing up to Claire like she is an equal. Hey kiddo, you are only sixteen, and I understand you had your mind set on old Moony Eye Fraser but you need to get over yourself. And if you think you can sit in Claire Fraser’s shoes for an instant, think again. Claire gives her an apology (NOT) and says to stay clear of her and Jamie. Legwhore tells her that yes, she did get the ill wish doll from Geillis Duncan and put it under the bed to curse her. and Claire is like, “I tried to be nice but you need to back the fuck off kiddo.”
SIDE NOTE: Terry Dresbach deserves an award for the outfit Claire has on. I love the cowl.
5. Next up, the proctor’s office to find Geillis. Only to find McFarty Duncan trying to find some tonic for his irritable bowel syndrome. Hey Ron & Co. I don’t need the foley art with this. Just saying. Listening to three minutes of the guy farting is a little too hard to bear. Especially while eating my popcorn during the episode. Thanks. I’m glad the guy isn’t around anymore because I won’t have to hear his farts every scene he’s in. The chambermaid (Tough Job, kid) tells Claire that to find Geillis she has to go out to the woods, at dawn, before sunset, if you’re going to your friend’s house, after you’ve written your note, you will have to put your coat on the lower peg. So Claire gives her something to help the Mcfarty Fart and leaves to do just that.
6. She finds Geillis at the appointed time, and the woman is doing the herky jerky dance the druids did at the first episode. Dressed only in a flimsy nightgown and carrying a torch, she’s giving it her all and about half way through the routine starts taking off her clothes, showing off a baby bump, and then finishes. Geillis is just nuts. She’s a big villain but we won’t see how much until much later. Well, actually you get to see how much of one she is coming up pretty soon at the banquet.
She confesses that the baby is actually Dougal‘s, and here’s yet another woman who is having her corn ground by the man. What’s this make, three? When confronted by the dance, Geillis just says, “Oh, not much just a summoning spell from mother nature to kill our respective spouses so we can live happily ever after in lurve.” Claire’s like, “Do you expect that to work? What, are you crazy?” to which Geillis says, “No, I believe in magic and oh, by the way, don’t tell anyone because we are totes BFF’s. (You know I had to use that word at least once right) Pinkie swear.” By the way, is Geillis going to audition for the part of Gandalf the grey in an all female version of the Hobbit? Love the hat. Another fantastic costume decision from Terry Dresbach. I hope she gets nominated or something because if she doesn’t it will be a travesty. This woman is a genius.
7. Then Claire hears the cries of a child and Geillis is all like, “Nope didn’t hear a thing. Not a thing. No crying infant within my range of hearing. Nope.” But Claire wants to go to the sound of the cries and geillis finally says, Dammit Claire, don’t go up there, it’s a faerie hill, and people put their kids up there hoping the faeries will being back their child. It’s a whole convoluted issue, there are lawyers involved, and the Unseelie court has to get involved, there’s all kinds of petitions and words like Changeling are involved. Basically, don’t interfere because, you now, superstition and all that. Claire, in typical form of doing everything the person said not to do, tromps up the hill to find the baby. Geillis just sighs and walks off.
8. Eventually Claire finds the baby, and it is dead, so she just sits there and cries. Well, this isn’t going to haunt her later on I’m sure. Jamie finds her with the baby and takes it from her. He then explains the world of the highlands to her. See, these people only now what Father Bain tells them in Church. They haven’t been out of the area nor do they want to. Everything is peachy keen in superstition land where people put babies in trees to die, and they still believe in demonic possession instead of science. He says, “I know you don’t believe this, being from where you are, where are you from again? Because I’m not quite sure you’ve been totally up front with me on that.” and she’s all like, “Oh don’t worry, I’ll tell you next week so just be patient, would you? I’m sure there’s going to be a Previously On type of montage explaining all kinds of things after I get tried as a witch and you have to save me yet again.”
SIDE NOTE: Last week I said disparaging things about Jamie’s knees, but he does show off a great deal of Knee porn here, so I’ll rescind what I had to say and tell you the man has glorious knees. Beautiful in shape and power and size. I love them! (Please stop sending me hate mail already? Kthanx)
9. So off they go to the castle, to sign the petition of complaint. I don’t know why Claire hesitates to put her name on it here, and the only thing I can think is that she is reluctant to sign her full name. I think once she does, it will cement her as Claire Elizabeth Fraser. But Jamie’s earnestness wins her over and she eventually signs her name as his wife for the first time.
10. Poppycock Sandringham is next for our fair damsel. He’s a strutting peacock, and when confronted with the petition of complaint, she says, “Oh I don’t have it with me, Jamie Fraser has it” to which he replies, “Oh good, I get to see my boy toy again. Wonderful. But I’m not going to sign it anyway. I can’t say anything bad about Randall, so you’re out of luck.” then she walks away but says, Colombo like “Just one more question. How about if the news came out about you and Dougal Mackenzie and the jacobite gold?” to which he changes his tune rather quickly and says, Ok he’ll register the complaint. You drive a hard bargain, lady. By the way, has anyone ever told you that your neck is gorgeous? How do you get that 20th century skin tone?“ But yes, he agrees that jamie will eventually have Lallybroch privileges again.
11. Then it’s back to the castle for Claire, only to find out Dougal’s wife has died and for some reason he’s in a snit over it. Well, not really a snit, but a full on bender where he’s breaking things and attacking guys with his sword for no apparent reason. Colum (ever in the last few episodes as Angry Colum) and a group of people are just standing there while Dougal goes on about his wife, even though word around the campfire is that she’s rather homely and a shut in. Claire comes up with some kind of sedative. Puts it in some wine and Angus gives it to him. This promptly knocks him out, and it takes about ten guys to lift him up and take him out of the great hall.
12. So then this happens in the castle courtyard.
And What the hell is up with this woman? I know from reading the books what happens to her, but what made her this damn evil? Geillis is just full on sociopath at this point I think.
13. Jamie and Murtagh go into Poncey’s estate but not before having a rude tet a tete with the Macdonald Brothers on the front steps. It’s a clan feud thing, much like the Hatfields and McCoys but only with swords and reaching farther back. Sandringham, because he likes jamie so much, agrees to register the complaint if he acts as second in a duel against the MacDonalds. Murtagh’s Eyebrows are hesitant to get involved in this line of inquiry but Jamie goes on like, “But it’s my chance to go home to Lallybroch. I mean, my home, you know. Lallybroch. And take my wife to Lallybroch. And on and on and ad infinitum.” Yeah, we get it kid. You hate Leoch and living in your uncle’s shadow, but that whole, ‘going to Lallybroch‘ thing is getting a little tiring. Can you go a scene without saying it?
14. Later, at the banquet for the Duke, they bring in a peacock meat pie and everyone claps. Mrs. Fitz has out done herself with this one. Colum says a few words of gatitude and thanks, and hands Joffrey the sword to cut the cake, which he does and promptly suffocates on and dies. Then oh wait, sorry, wrong show. Sandringham cuts the cake and Proctor Duncan suffocates and dies, that’s right. Watching three fantasy series at the same time one tends to get mistaken on a few details. (By the way Black Sails is the shit! Watch it, it rocks. And season 5 of Game of Thrones is on too, if you don’t watch it, you should. Because Dragons!) Anyhoo, Claire goes into full Mrs. Marple mode and determines that he was killed with cyanide, because the scent of bitter almonds always reminded her of the smell of unrequited love. (And if someone gets that reference I’ll be surprised and delighted.) there’s only one suspect and her name rhymes with Shmeelis Muncan. That’s right, the witch looks up, has a smile on her face, Dougal shares the same look, and Colum is like, WTF did I just see? You’re happy about a guy dying in my great hall? Oh, wait, her… and promptly goes into full pissed off mode face, which he has in pretty much every scene this episode. Claire noticed too, just about the time Geillis goes into the grieving widow ploy. Bitch please, you’re about as honest as a book titled “There’s no drought in California”.
15. So then it’s the duel and it’s kind of convoluted and hard to understand but apparently they take unloaded guns and shoot at each other and then it’s pretty much drinks and handshakes all around. Which doesn’t make sense to the MacDonalds kids because then they won’t get their playhouse with the multi colored tubes and ball bouncy pit. There’s verbal sparring with Jamie and the three MacDonald kids which leads to one of the best Yo Mamma jokes around.
Well, obviously, this pisses the hotheads off and they go after Jamie. There’s a sword fight with them and Jamie gets nicked in the process, but he handles all three in a brilliant show of swordsmanship.
So Jamie is nursing his wound at the end of it, and PonceyHam comes over, “Sorry about all that, but I must be off. Oh, tis but a scratch, quit your whining. And yes, I’ll just get this in the mail so don’t worry about a thing, kiddo. But yeah, you might want to get that whole sword in the gut thing looked at.” then runs off.
16. Sure enough, Claire is pissed, and is giving him the silent treatment while she stitches him up. He’s talking about what’s happened, and how the Yo Mamma joke was funny, and says, “Why the silent treatment, hon? “ and she just gives him that I HATE YOU look. Thankfully someone comes in and tells Jamie that Himself wants a word. This spares him any more silence and pain from his wife. Dude, I think you’ll want that silence when you get to Colum’s office.
17. Sure as shit, Colum is pissed off about EVERYTHING: Dougal’s affair with Geillis, Dougal’s baby with Geillis, Jamie duking it out with the MacDonald kid, Ned’s hair, the Cubs never having a winning season, and the price of coal. Basically, he’s ranting and raving at everyone here. And when Poppa Bendy Legs ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. He exiles Dougal back to his home, and tells Jamie to go with him. Oh, and that wife of yours? Staying. That’s it, mind’s made up. Jamie replies as we all know he does “but Lallybroch…” Before Colum breaks in with an “I give a shit, you’re not leaving til I say so.”
18. Out in the courtyard the next day, we see Jamie and Claire saying goodbye. Dougal comes up and says, go ahead and kiss her, and they do. Boy do they. Like beyond wedding night kissing. This is full on mouth sex. Until Dougal pipes in, “I said, kiss her, not swallow her.” Jamie says, “By the way, I know you’re not going to do what I say here, but a guy can try, huh? Don’t go around Geillis Duncan, there’s a good girl.” then they ride off into the sunset like two lonesome cowboys.
19. Later, Claire is all moony eyed about Jamie being gone, and Mrs. Fitz is having one of many burns tended to when the poisoned kid from episode 3 shows up and gives her a note. Its from Geillis Duncan telling her to come quickly. Well, what does Claire do? Disobeys her husbands wishes again and does EXACTLY what he told her not to do. WTF Claire, what is wrong with you? Do you have to go against what everyone says? Can you not do something ANYONE tells you? Ok, I’m done with you. Go ahead and march bravely into the face of danger, idiot. It is getting really hard to stay in love with you darling.
20. So it’s off to the wicked witch’s house only to find out, nope, the letter wasn’t written by Geillis. Everyone knew EXCEPT the woman who was given the letter. While they are there, the Cops show up to serve a warrant for Geillis’ arrest. Also, since Claire is there, she is guilty by association apparently, because there’s charges of witchcraft against her too. And we see who has leveled those charges in the closing moments of the show.
So next week is the Witch trial. I havve been looking forward to this one jsut as much as the Wedding Episode. Im also glad this one stays as close to the book as possible and i’m starting to see the understanding of changing things from the book. if they didn’t make some changes but kept the story line, it would be twenty episodes or more. So once the whole 16 episode run is done, if you watch in a single marathon you will see the brad strokes as well as the individual episode arcs. Again, Thanks for coming to my area of the Outlander world.
And here’s your Moony Eye pic of the week.
And an extra because you had to endure Legwhore as your last image here.
And we all know what this scene is from. #DowntownJamie
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