Episode 12 Lallybroch

This recap uses adult language. You have been warned.

Hey folks. Got a lot of stuff to talk about here, so let me begin by saying this was not my favorite episode. It was good, but it wasn’t up to par with a lot of the others. It served as a bridge to the action yet to come. Kind of like a breather in the movie before the third act. Everything that has happened up to this point has been GO! GO! GO! GO! and this episode let the characters breath somewhat. Which is cool, because you can’t have action all the time or the audience would get bored. And it ended on a cliff hanger, which I always hate because we have to go another week to find out what’s going on.

On another topic I have seen a lot of folks who are upset with this episode because it didn’t follow the book. Understand where you are coming from here. But allow me to take the other side. We are book readers, and we want the scenes faithfully done by the book. I get that, I really do. But Outlander is a huge book and there are a lot of things to cover.  Screen writers have to take the plot and truncate that into a visual medium for the masses. We are all fans, and obviously we are going to watch the series. However, they also want to appeal to the people who like Game of Thrones, Real Housewives, and romance comedies like Sleepless in Seattle and Bull Durham. So they have to put in all kinds of stuff while adding to the general narrative that we all love from the books.

So my point is, not everything is going to be exactly like the book. That’s fine with me. And I’m sure its fine with a lot of other people. And guess what, when the episodes all air, we can all go back and binge for sixteen hours now that the epic love story of the ages has been told on screen. Then we can see it for what it is worth, all together, in all it’s majesty. So please, calm down on the hate of the show because Jamie didn’t profess his love the right way. A lot of things that are filmed have to be done that way because some things from the book don’t translate well with the visual medium. So have fun, and keep watching, because I know you will, even if you have complaints.

Now, on to the recap, shall we?

1. Airplanes, and motor cars and wars, oh my! Jamie is asking all kinds of things about the future, and he is obsessed with air travel. Claire is telling him all this while they are cuddled together on Donas. And the scenery here is absolutely breathtaking.

2. When they get to Lallybroch, Jamie starts having flashbacks to when he last saw the place. Oh, you know, that fateful day when Asshat Randall came to call and beat him up and raped his sister. All I a day’s work for BJR, I’m sure. Because that’s his thing. Rape, Murder, rape, pillaging, rape, floggings. And oh, did I mention rape? Claire is trying to soothe him. And I get where the guy is coming from, I mean, look at it from his side. The chain of events went: Peacefully shoveling hay into a wagon, then fighting redcoats, watching his sister get disrobed before his eyes, getting trussed up and whipped like a dog, knocked out, thinking his sister was raped by Randall, waking up in a cell, flogged, and imprisoned. Then a week later getting flogged again, this time more brutally than ever by a deranged sociopath. So yeah, I think his PTSD is justified Claire.

3. When they finally get there, Claire goes to talk to a young kid while jamie looks around at the place, still seeing bad memories for a moment then Jenny, his sister come around the corner. Then she introduces the young boy, a four year old Jamie (Which I will call Cutey J from now on because the kid’s adorable. But not wee Roger adorable. I mean, did that kid have the most pinchable cheeks ever? And a biscuit? Oh my god, bring wee Roger back, directors, he has fans, you know!)

4. So instantly Jamie goes on the warpath because he jumps to conclusions faster than an Olympic sprinter going after the gold medal. “Why did you name Randall’s bastard after me? Do ye have nae feelings, sister?” and at that point, Jenny goes into what I like to call Big Sister That Is Going To Win an Argument mode. And trust me, I had five, and I know the look and the demeanor and when they start talking you just had better shut up, because boy are you gonna get it. And boy does he. She threatens to grab his balls and twist until he sees reason. So he calms down, but he’s still plowing forward with that self righteous indignation like every man who tries to win an argument against a woman. Jamie, stop, you aren’t going to win! Haven’t you figured that out yet with Claire? I kept yelling at the screen, “Don’t do it man. Shut up! You’re digging yourself in deeper!” but no, he keeps on. Then, he says, “And who’s baby is that?” and his best friend in the world comes around the corner and says, “It’s mine, and so is the lad. Hello Jamie…”

5. So then they go into the house, and Jamie asks about what happened that day when he got taken away from the house by Randall and Co. She says, I’m only going to tell this once, and I understand why because it’s pretty terrifying. And during the flashback we get to see Tobias Menzies doing all kinds of horrible things like show his unadorned peen sans modesty pouch. (And yes, it was all him. No CGI. He so much as admitted it) Anyway, long story short, because I’m glossing over the whole Rapey Jack Randall scene because we all know what happened. He tried to rape her, he couldn’t achieve maximum fortitude in his tenderloins, and she laughed at him, thus humiliating him, and then knocked her out and left. She woke up, realized he hadn’t done anything, and saw that her brother was gone.

SIDE NOTE: Every now and then I see an actor who is absolutely fearless in a role and gives it everything. Tobias is probably one of the best actors on this series. Yes, we all know Jamie is great, and Claire is doing wonderfully, but this man every week brings it more and more home that he is an evil sadistic bastard. I think there will be riots in the streets if this guy doesn’t win the Emmy this year. Really outstanding work all around.

6. So when she is done, she demands an apology, and like men everywhere, he’s like, “But I already said it!” which he didn’t, and Claire says as much. See, here’s the thing, ladies. When a guy looks guilty, and it shows in his body language, he thinks that’s an apology. Or when he says things like, “ok, you’re right, I’m wrong.” or “Alright, Jeez, let it go!” these are our versions of “I’m sorry.” because we hate saying that because we hate being wrong, and we hate admitting we are wrong. It takes a lot for us to admit that, because we’re stubborn men and we hate doing that. So Jamie thinks he’s already apologized even though he hasn’t said the words yet. Jenny’s all like, “Ummm, yeah, you need to stay out of it because this is between my brother and me and hoors don’t get a say.“
SIDE NOTE: Claire, darling, I know you are an only child, and don’t understand family dynamics, so let me tell you, from a guy who has eight siblings. And let me make it perfectly clear so there’s no confusion in future. DON’T EVER EVER NEVER GET INVOLVED OR PUT YOURSELF IN BETWEEN TWO SIBLINGS THAT ARE HAVING AN ARGUMENT! If you want to get both of them to turn against you, this is the way to go about it. In future, if a brother and sister are arguing, let it run its course, because it will eventually, trust me. But for the time being just stay out of it. You’ve been warned.

So he takes Claire back to another room and tells her to stay out of family business. Because she’s still a hot head from the future and is all into the whole “ladies and men are equal” thing. Then he tells her that Letitia and Colum have a relationship where he makes all the decisions in public and she makes a lot of the decisions behind closed doors. To which Claire says, “Alright, that’s cool we can do that.” and then they go back out and it’s happy happy joy joy among the two of them. Until dinner that is…

7. Back in the Palace of Familial Harmony, Ian asks Claire where she’s from and she goes into Patented Lie number One with the whole, I came from Oxfordshire story, because for some reason, in the whole “Airplanes and cars and wars, oh my” discussion they didn’t have time to figure out a valid story for her. So, they go with the one that she’s been using since the beginning. And it seems to pass because no one says anything about it for the rest of the time here. Jenny’s all like, “Um, yeah, you’re staying? Oh boy…” Then the discussion of Jamie with a price on his head and Redcoats and Asshat Randall. Nobody on the lands would even think about turning Jamie in, so it’s all good. We hope…

8. So Jamie’s all “I’m the laird, I get the big room, and I’m the laird so I get to say Laird a lot. I mean, really, let’s talk about that here, shall we? I understand it’s all new to the kid and he wants to make his dead dad proud by being a responsible guy and good to his tenants. I get that. But Jamie do you have to be an absolute dick to everyone? Every possible moment you are reminding people that you are the BMOC of Lallybroch. And it isn’t til nearly the end when we see you calm down with it. (After a Claire Intervention)
Upstairs in the bedroom, he shows her his sword.

No, not that sword, dirty minds. Anyway, he talks about his dad, and we get to see another flashback scene of Asshat Randall being a douche bag. I’m not going to give this scene any credence either. Suffice to say, Randall says he will let Jamie go if the young MacHunkington decides to allow Jackie boy to bugger him. Jamie, of course refuses, because that would be giving in to weakness, and we all know Jamie will always take the high road even when it involves his being more harshly punished for the sake of it. And by high road, I mean, not letting a sadistic fuck rape him for the sheer pleasure of it with out a fight. So it’s back to the Lashing Scene and Jamie’s dad dies. So now Randall has another death on him.

9. And let’s talk about Randall now, shall we? How the hell did he get the way he is? I would love for Diana Gabaldon to tell us somehow. I’m sure there’s a detailed history of him somewhere, but I haven’t been able to find it. I’m sure I’m going to hear something or see something in the comments after this goes to press, but I would really love to understand why this guy is the way he is. What’s with the rape thing, the sadist thing, the sense of power he gets from it. Did someone just shit in his porridge every day of his life growing up and he had a bad childhood? What? ANSWER ME! And yet, he’s such a rich character, that we can’t help but hate him in such a violent manner. I am sure all of us have at one time or another wanted to reach through the TV screen and strangle him to death. Just shows what a great portrayal of evil Tobias is doing.

10. Ok back to it. So we are at dinner. And boy is the tension strained. Whey doesn’t Jamie do what his sister asks? Because he’s a dude and dudes are stubborn, add to the fact that he’s a Fraser, and well, you understand. She asks why not go to the grave site, and he’s all like, “It’s quarter day tomorrow and I have to organize everything for that. Dad’ll keep. I mean, after all he isna going anywhere, ye ken?” She gets huffy, and we see that the entire episode. Jenny the Huffy Sister mode is on display throughout. And I get it, here’s a guy who hasn’t sent word in four years, he shows back up with a Sassenach hoor, he takes the big bedroom, he’s got a price on his head, he’s responsible for her father dying, she’s a bundle of hormones because she’s got a child that is about to come out in a bad way, her husbands’ got a gimp leg, and her brother came home with an English trollop. And the mill needs work, and the servants are giving me problems, like that Mrs. Crook, and I just want to lay in bed all day and cry because no one understands what it’s like! So yeah, I get it, she’s got a lot to be cranky about. I’ve had five sisters, and I’ve been married to a woman who was pregnant twice. Trust me, I know what it’s like from a male perspective.

11. Quarter day. Wherein the Laird takes money from his tenants and drinks a lot. But then he doesn’t take money from his tenants because they’ve had a lean year. And he wants to show what a magnanimous Laird he is by doing that. Even though Lallybroch is up to its ears in debt, they had to get a second mortgage just to put a new roof on, and I have this whole Pregnant Gotta Pay the Midwife deal if you hadn’t noticed, Laird Broch Turach. So what the hell? Why are you giving everyone a free pass?
During the day, a young boy is getting beaten up by his father because the young kid stole a bannock. And the dudes like, “Put that back! Do you want to end up a main character in French opera where they sing all the time?” Smack! (And yes, in Le Mis they sing EVERY WORD watch it you’ll see.) So she takes the kid back in to show Jenny. The two ladies are comforting the victim of child abuse, and Jamie comes over to see what’s amiss. So they show him, and then someone offers to get him a drink and he walks away. But dinna fash lassies because Jamie will be on the case very soon.

12. After the day he’s had, Jamie comes in doing the Drunk Man Shuffle. He’s had too much whiskey and Claire knows it. Then we hear about Mr. MacNabb and how Jamie, the Laird, that’s me, Fraser beat him up because that’s what you do to child abusers apparently. Then he passes out, and we all know how that’s going to go in the morning. Too much revelry, and the after affects.
13. And boy is he hung over. He can’t even eat his bacon. That’s hung-over. I’ve been hung over too, but that never stopped me from eating bacon. I mean, after all, its bacon. So Claire gives him something to drink, a glass of wine, “Hair of the dog,” she says. “I need the whole hound” he answers. And yes, folks. Anyone who has been in the grips of a full fledged phase five hangover knows what he’s talking about. So Jenny comes in bitching, and he’ll have none of it. Then he eats a bannock, realizes it’s stale or horrible or just plain bad. That’s when he finds out the mill is broken.
“Why isn’t it fixed?” because we’re waiting on the repair guy, and he said he’d show up between four pm and four fifteen pm on a third Sunday in the month of Never. Like all repair men even when you’re home, they just show up, look around a minute, tell you its going to cost a million dollars, get in their truck after taking a thirty dollar inspection fee, give you a surly attitude when you ask for a receipt, and then never come back to complete the work when you cal and call and call and call and threaten to sue. Yeah, it happens that way.

14. So Jamie has to go repair the mill himself. At which point 99% of the female audience is like,

Because that Sam Heughan is a fine specimen of male physique. And that’s all I’ll say about him lest I lose what shred of a man card I have left in my wallet. (trust me, we do have those. There’s a list of rules that I would be kicked out if I revealed. Don’t hate) Just when we think that everything is going to be nice and pastoral, we get the Redcoats showing up. Jenny comes out to warn Jamie and the English soldiers come out to say hello. Then one of the guys gets down off his horse and says, “I’ll repair it for you mistress, I’m actually a fully licensed mill repair man. What did, the Twelfth of Never come and go?” To which she says, “Oh don’t bother, there’s a total hunk working on it right now, and he’s in the water and he’s going to come up dripping wet and fucking gorgeously hot and give women in several states around the world exploding ovary syndrome (EOS) so yeah, just don’t worry about it and get going, will you?”

But nooooo. This guy has to get his outfit almost off before the mill starts working again, and then sees Jamie’s shirt on the mill in all its wet sloppy form. He takes it to the ladies, looks it over and says, “I wonder how a shirt got in there. To which , we have the Line of the Week, “Sir, it’s Scotland.” as if that’s an explanation for everything that is wrong with the world.

So, then we have the shot of the week, hell, even the whole season up to this point. Moony Eye Fraser stands up, dripping wet, naked in a stream wearing nothing but his hand over his crotch. It is at this point in the world that the entire viewing audience of females instantly goes into perma swoon, and the moisture content of the earth increases tenfold. It’s okay, he’s a good looking guy, what’s not to like? But then Claire and Jenny see his back scars, and it’s the first time for his sister and she freaks out and understands finally what this guy had to go through for the family and to protect the house. So she runs away, shocked. And Laura Donnelly really nails it with her look of horror. Jamie wanted to protect her from that sight, because who wouldn’t want to protect his sister from the fact that he took two hundred lashes with a cat of nine tails for her. He doesn’t want her to see that.

15. So later, Claire is walking around looking at the pictures and portraits of the people who have lived here, an Ian comes in for a chat. Finally the in laws can talk in private about the Frasers. How stubborn they are, how Ian and Jenny met and got married, what to do when one of them goes off and starts a f fight and how you have to just walk away when they do because eventually it will run its course. She asks, “how do you handle it sometimes, when they’re being an idiot?” and he answers, “Kick their butts.” or something of the kind. Because that’s what Claire does next.

16. Claire walks in, grabs the blankets and deposits Jamie on the floor in a heap. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you? Good. Straighten up and fly right, or Momma Claire is going to get medieval on your ass. I married Jamie Moony Eye Fraser, not the ‘Laird of Lallybroch’. So be that guy, not the other guy.” he tries to get a word in, but she’s all like, “Dude, you want to shut up until I’ve had my say.” and he is smart because when a woman you love is speaking and you are clearly in the wrong, you shut up and you listen to her and the first words out of your mouth when she is finished should be “I’m sorry darling, you’re right.” because if they aren’t, you will have made the biggest mistake in the world. So she continues, “You need to straighten up and fly right. Cool down on the Laird of Lallybroch thing. You’re pissing everyone off and acting like a jackass. So just chill the fuck out, and grow up, or you will lose every family member you have left around you.” and he takes it in and listens. Because, guys, sometimes our wives or significant others are in fact smarter than us on things. And yes, I grew up with girls, so I know this all too well.

17. So the next morning, Jenny goes to the cemetery, and Jamie is there, at his father’s gravesite. It’s a sibling reconciliation, where she admits to not knowing what he had to endure at the hands of Jack Randall, and he admits he was wrong for accusing her of being a hour to Randall. It seems they’ve both been feeling guilty because they let their father down. And each thinks that they are responsible for his death. But then they both realize they haven’t been the ones who cause it in the end,

18. When the night comes later, Jamie and Claire are in the bedroom, they are exchanging sweet nothings and he finally admits he fell in love with her when she cried for him at castle Leoch at the fireplace. He admitted, “Yeah, I wanted to hit that ass, because, well, you weren’t like the other lassies at the castle, especially that evil one that had you almost killed for witchcraft.” and she admits finally to loving him. It’s a cute scene of domestic bliss, but for some reason her “I love you” didn’t really sit well with me. It felt forced or something. I don’t know. Jury is still out on this whole Claire Jamie dynamic so far. I’m seeing a bit of chemistry, but maybe after a binge watch of the whole series one day I will see it in its entirety. Also, we have four episodes to go, so who knows, at the end I think I will by this dynamic duo finally.

19. So in the morning, Claire wakes up and finds that Jamie isn’t in bed. She has a look of “Aww…” because she probably wanted some Scottish Breakfast. Nudge nudge hint hint knowwhatimean? So she gets up when she hears men’s voices outside, and goes to investigate. She walks out in her shift to find Jamie and some dude standing there with a gun pointed at his face. “Don’t make a move, lass, or I’ll paint the wall with this guys brains.” and that’s the end. Yep, another stupid cliffhanger!

And now, your Jamie MacHunkington Fraser Moony eye pic of the week