Hey Folks, thought I would pop on by here just to say hi and update you on a few things prior to the start of the second season of the show we all love so much. After a work shakeup that had me working every day, I was able to finally get a day to write a few words on a subject that has been bothering me lately.

Over the Christmas holiday, I was able to get on to my twitter and face book accounts and actually see what was going on. Boy was I surprised. #Withoutlander has really made some of you nuts. I get that, I’m going through a bit of withdrawal too. But there are those of you who are becoming a little over the line in the obsessive nature of your fandom.

First, I’m a fan of the show, but I’m a bigger fan of the books. They will always be my first love. Is Sam Heughan the way I pictured Jamie? Not really, but he’ll do. Was Caitriona who I pictured as Claire? Not really, but she’ll do. Over the course of sixteen episodes, I found myself falling in love with them, their chemistry together, their acting ability, and the way they dealt personably with fans. Hell, a lot of the success I had with this blog is because of Sam Heughan, and I will be forever grateful for that.

But as a fan, I know there are boundaries in what I can and cannot say in social media. As an actor myself, on stage and the small screen, I have had some small indication of what actors go through on a daily basis when interacting with other folks. For the most part, these interactions are nice, brief affairs with only a few kind words. I have never had the instances of behavior I have seen sent toward Caitriona, Sam, and the rest of the crew.

In the beginning, we had all kinds of negativity thrown at Caitriona for her looks. To which I say, “Are you the most beautiful human being on the planet? No? Then shut up!” Guess what: She is laughing all the way to the bank riding on a cushion of supermodel money, while you’re on a computer slinging stones. I think she’s doing okay, thankyouverymuch.

We heard the same with Sam, how he didn’t look like the Jamie we all know and love from the books. And where is he? Climbing rocks and living the life with blond actresses like a young man about town. And he deserves it. He has worked very hard for his success. He helps children realize their dreams all over the world through his charities. How about you? Give to the salvation army this Christmas? No, I don’t think so. Again, stop casting stones.

Oh, and to the ones that say, “You should change your public behavior. If I was your mother, I would be ashamed of seeing you frolicking with bikini blondes in pools.” Guess, what, Mrs. Twitter queen. YOU. DON’T. GET. TO. TELL. SAM. WHAT. TO. DO. PERIOD. He is a personal man and he wants it to stay personal. He doesn’t have to take orders from you. Trust me, when I was his age, I was single and living the life too. Admittedly not as exciting as Mr. Heughan, but fun nonetheless. You are not his mother, girlfriend, lover, or confidant. Wht he does in his personal life is what he does, not you.

Oh, and to all you twitter queens that wake up in the morning and tweet things like, “Good morning @SamHeughan” please just stop. He doesn’t respond to that. Really, he doesn’t. I would venture to guess it’s more of a bother to him than anything else. All you’re doing is fishing for a response from your imaginary boyfriend so later you can post pictures all over your site as to how the great Jamie Fraser acknowledged you in your piece of the universe. Guess what, he has over 700K followers, and while he appreciates every one of us, he has little time to engage in frivolities with each and every one. He has a social media manager now, anyway, so odds are, you’re not going to get anywhere close to the top of his feed.

Caitriona is already off of twitter except for a few instances here and there, probably becaue she got so irritated with the next group of people I’m going to talk about. You Shippers.

Shippers: The fans who desperately want the leading actor and actress to have a relationship in real life.
Yes, you folks that want the actress and actor of a romance to be in lurve off camera. Stop that. Please. Caitriona and Sam are friends. That’s it. They act together on a hit TV show. That’s it. The actors all have significant others. That’s it. They respect each other as professionals. That’s it.  They are not, will they ever be in a real life relationship. they will never get married, and they will never have miracle Outlander babies that look like Bree. Please, stop trying to make this happen!

Every time I see something about this actor and actress are in a certain area together and they aren’t filming, you’ll see, “Squee, they’re dating! See? We were right!” No you’re wrong. No they aren’t dating, they’re probably on a publicity junket for a new market. This kind of behavior makes other outlander fans do this…

nedpalm

It’s also an invasion of privacy. Don’t you folks have more important things to do than scour the internet for the latest gossip about your favorite two people in the whole world? Like jobs, for instance, or kids, or your significant other? Take a break, read a book that isn’t outlander. I’ve done that. I’ve stayed away from twitter and social media because it’s just too much work keeping up with the stupid that goes on there. And when I do check up, from time to time I find something that makes me sigh.

So please, all of you who are doing this, respect the boundaries of the actors. I know you’re a fan, but don’t be like Annie Wilkes, please. The last thing Sam and Cait need are over obsessive fans ruining their lives by needless intrusion. Watch the show, and leave them alone. Everyone will be happier as a result.

Thank you.

Also, I know some of you might be fuming right now, and I respect that. I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t think I could take the heat. I thank all of you for your kind words, and I will also respect any negativity that comes as a result of this missive. So go ahead, as the black knight in Monty Python says, “Do your worst!”

239 responses to “Dear Obsessed Fan– STOP IT ALREADY!”

  1. Oh, thank God for your bluntness! Others, including myself, have tried but apparently people haven’t gotten the message. I hope yours will be successful in breaking through their thick skulls! If it keeps up, they will stop interacting with us completely.

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  2. Wow. I am so glad you put your voice to this matter. I have been getting increasingly uncomfortable with the treatment of these actors at least on social media. Much of the treatment of Mr. Heughan has been pretty sexist and it’s too bad.

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  3. Some of the things that happen with Sam and Cait annoy me too but who are you to pass judgement on how a fan reacts? Sam has said that he’s a grown man and can handle it. I too believe he has a SM manager but who can blame him? Sam has given a lot of himself to fans because he wants that connection and yes, some to take it too far. But I’m sure he’s rather have an some over-zealous obsessed fans than no fans at all. I get the feeling that the reason he’s so active on SM is because he struggled for many years as a jobbing actor and now here’s his chance in the big leagues. My Peak Challenge, random selfies, responding to fan tweets are all a part of Sam coming into his own as a celebrity with a large SM presence, and he learning how to use it for good. At times he does misstep, like the rather naughty but very funny exchange he had on IG with an lingerie model (If that’s not proof the he and Cait are not a couple I don’t know what is) but at least he tries to be there for us fans. So if some fans take it too far, so what. They love the show just like the rest of us.

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  4. Well said. Fuming ? No way. Applauding? Heck yeah! Ppl are just nuts living in the it own un-reality. Let the actors/actresses be.

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  5. Well said! The books are hugely better than the show. That said, I love the use of the Gaelic ( without subtitles) AND the locations of the shoots! The rest is meh…..

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  6. I get your point, it’s pretty sad some of the things that are said on social media. I’ve read some of the same things you refer to and my reaction wasn’t to get angry, I just feel embarrassed for these people. But I don’t think your rant is much better. First, Sam, Caitriona and the others are grown up and can take care of themselves. They don’t need any self appointed referees, really, they already have people for that. Second, they are actors, this is the profession they chose. They look for major roles and I’m certain they are very aware of the downsides as well as the upsides of fame. All you have to do is look at the papers and magazines in the checkout lane at the store. Extreme fandom has been going on forever. I find it interesting why people say or do the things they do. There are a lot of shippers out there and they can get out of hand, but I think it’s interesting that there are almost as many people who are just as obsessed with them not being a couple. Why are you so mad about people who want them to be a couple? Read what you shouted. When it come down to real life what does it matter to anyone but them if they are or are not? Unless you are you dating Sam or Cait? If you are, kudos to you! Or maybe you just want to date one of them and thats ok too. The truth of the matter is, they are two consenting adults. They choose who they do or do not want to be with if it’s each other, someone else or no one. They also choose how much social presence they have and I’m sure they know that the vast majority of the fans are good well-intentioned people and they probably don’t even read most of what is said. They both seem to be smart, well grounded people.

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  7. Well said!! It _is_ quite embarrassing sometimes…

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  8. Thank goodness, someone finally said it! I completely understand hormone filled teens being insane fans, obsessed with hanging on every little thing. Not grownass women!! I really thought I was outlander obsessed, having read the books countless times, excited about the show, casting, etc…. But the things I’ve seen and read from other ‘fans’ since the show aired…. They are on a whole another planet. Nuts just nuts!!

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  9. Terrific! Agree 100% ! I am assuming these eedjits are new fans from the tv series?? I hope the books’ readers are a lot more sane, maybe because we are readers. It is unbelievable and scary what some of these folk can get up to and I worry about Sam and Cait as a result. And the other major players, like Nell who plays L’heere. She gets some awful things said to her because some folk cannot differentiate between the REAL PEOPLE actors and the FICTITIOUS characters!

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  10. ..Bravo….now move over and let me talk to Sam and Cait… (just kidding..) ! It takes bravery and a special ability to put the “right thing” into words. You did very well.. Thank you for outlining the ” The Proper Etiquette of a Fan “..
    We are a lonely species and need our stars to shine for us because we cannot for one reason or another, shine for ourselves…. We cannot cross the boundaries between us because we have no right to do so..!!

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  11. Admiration is not the same as obsesssion!

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  12. It is interesting that you are annoyed with people for giving unsolicited advice to others ( the actors ) yet you are giving unsolicited advice to those ( the fans ) I like both books and series. I am not saying you are wrong here. Everyone deserves their privacy. However as actors who are in the public eye, there will always be a few nuts who over follow, over gush, over do their comments. It is the nature of being a fan. If you help even one star struck fan that is good because in the end I do agree, the cast should have their privacy. Hopefully they can use what is the best defense for these overly fan, fans…. humor.

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  13. Well stated, and so true!

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  14. Astute as ever.. Maybe some will listen to the “tough love”

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  15. Bernadette Wheeler Avatar
    Bernadette Wheeler

    Ditto

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  16. Amen!!! so glad this was put out there. I don’t understand all the hubbub either. I love Outlander, but an actor/actress is just that, a portrayal and personally I don’t have time in my life to follow their lives after my day is all said and done with my living.
    Again, thank you for putting this out there!!! =0)

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  17. Absolutely agree… well put.

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  18. Kiltlander, I SO agree! Ladies & gentlemen: They’re BOOKS; it’s a TV SHOW! The people on the TV show are ACTORS; they are pretending to be characters in the books! They are doing a JOB (and doing it quite well, if I may say). Please stop obsessing over Outlander; enjoy the books and TV series and, if you must, occasionally make a quick comment on a fan site. But for heaven’s sake, realize that you have no real connection with Outlander except reading, watching, & (hopefully, infrequently) commenting. Please fill your life with REAL people and REAL activities and put your love of Outlander in perspective as an enjoyable diversion, not the focus of your existence! (P.s.: This is NOT criticism ~ just a kindly meant wake-up call.)

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    1. Sent from my iPad

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  19. Agreed! but I have a “but” to add on one item. It is a natural reaction (obsession) to want the live characters (actors) to become romantically involved – it is our dream world coming to life! Not a bad thing actually but rather a compliment to the author!!! At least this is how I see it.

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  20. Joanne Griffiths Avatar
    Joanne Griffiths

    Well said!! Thank you for saying what most of us are thinking !

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  21. Unfortunately all of us that agree are not the ones that are so obessed and have nothing better to do with their lives.

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  22. I recently joined the outlander fandom on tumblr because I wanted to look at pretty gif sets, talk to others about the books and have fun. While I found some of that mostly I found bs fighting over whether or not the actors were dating, nasty comments back and forth between “shippers” and “truthers”. I don’t give a damn what the actors do in their personal life, it’s called a personal life because it’s PERSONAL. I will say that it is not restricted to the outlander fandom, twd fandom has similar problems with real people shippers and haters. it’s a damn shame some just can’t separate real life and fantasy… great post.

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  23. Thank you so much for writing this, you are absolutely right! I myself had a few quite bad experiences with facebook when I was still working a lot as a model. It just wore me down so I had to stop it all together. facebook and modelling. And I have never been so much out in public as Cait or Sam so I don’t even wanna start to imagine what it must be like for them! I just hope they are strong enough to cope with all the fanstorm or just ignore it.

    Sam has been so kind to his fans, altough he is working so hard – they all are. And still you read comments like: “Oh he was so tired when attending this Con, although he must get so much money for it.” I could explode when reading stuff like this. Money is not everything, they are still human beeings. I am sure almost nobody could endure all the work they have to do, shooting day and night and then go on a plane at 4 am and smile all day long to thousands of fans without even having time for a short lunchbreak.

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  24. very good

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  25. Hooray.. Finally someone in the inner sanctum that can set things straight. I have never heard of “Shippers!” Obviously glad I haven’t. Like you I sigh and only respond to friends I can deal with. I often think not only poor Sam and Cait, but also their poor parents and families having to see some of the stuff. Goodness it makes me chringe and I have no interest in them outside of OL… Sorry, rant over… Thanks again.

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  26. I don’t know how you could possibly know the “never” answers you gave here. I do agree that Sam and Cait are great actors and deserve respect in their private life. I have not seen any proof of significant others anywhere. Can you tell me how you know that.

    Obsessed fans are going to fantasize about the actors being involved in real life and there is nothing to worry about. Who or what does it hurt. It is innocent fun that the too serious fans seem to take on a vigilante mentality towards them.

    Everybody just relax and enjoy the best series that has ever come along and stop arguing and correctin others with unproven facts. Never say never is not a phrase to be used in reference to this show.

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  27. You make several good points, but this part was a rude assumption: “How about you? Give to the salvation army this Christmas? No, I don’t think so.” Seriously, you assume Outlander fans do not give to charity ?

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  28. Very well said. But it’s not just limited to the actors. Diana Gabaldon is bombarded from those same fans to rush book #9. She handles it with humor but still, it’s annoying!

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  29. I feel exactly the same way and might I add that I too have limited how much on Facebook I interact or respond too and don’t bother with Twitter anymore. Why? Because some of these super over-obbsessive fans become bullies and call some of us “attention seeking whores” when we call them out. THANK YOU for your well written words!

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  30. Finally, words of wisdom for everyone to see. Its so embarassing when fangirls go so way over the top. Where is their self respect…?

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  31. Agree about 900 percent.

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  32. Well done, well written/said. The books are wonderful, I keep reading them, and enjoy how well written they are. I love the series, and the actors have been doing a great job at — acting! The on-screen chemistry is great, but It’s nice to see they are good friends off-screen.

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  33. I disagree. Who are you to tell people what to say m, think or feel on their social media pages? If it is not blatant disrespect toward the actors then why not have fun and extreme fan. You never know what some people are going through in real life or how this may be an outlet or happy place for them. Why should you feel as though you can rain on some ones parade no matter how much of a fantasy to you it may seem. I did not or have not heard Sam or Cait complain or ask fans to tone it down, therefore I am not sure why YOU feel as the you should so gallantly lead their defense squad?

    YOU.DO.NOT.GET.TO.TELL.PEOPLE.WHAT.TO.DO

    Take a page from your own dissertation on how to behave on social media according to you. This is a control freak post and it’s sad that you feel the need to tell others how to behave with people that you do not even know. Why is someone telling an actor good morning a problem for you? Please tell me.

    Sweep around your own porch before you come and tell others how to sweep around theirs. Fandom is fun, joining together over the common love of something(Outlander), and an outlet for many. This is tasteless, control freak worthy, bad journalism.
    Peace & Blessings!

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  34. Thank you!

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  35. I didn’t know they each had SO’s! Pics please! (LOL!)

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  36. As a wiser women of today’s eccentric ways of communication, I see a great deal of intrusion in an actors life, any actors. Sam & Cait deserve respect.

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  37. Thank you for saying exactly what I have been thinking. Both deserve their personal life and privacy.

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  38. Hear hear! Great job

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  39. Well said!!

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  40. Nicely done — I agree!

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  41. Very well put, totally agree with every word.Doubt it’ll do much good though!!!!

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  42. Terri Koppelman Avatar

    I wish that Cait was a bit shorter, but she isn’t and she will never be. Sam doesn’t have sky blue eyes and he’s not left handed. I am willing to let all that go because these wonderful actors have given me a way to see the books. The casting so far has been remarkable and I will pray that my favorite show will be on for years to come.
    I thank you for your comment. I am just as appalled that fans presume that they have the right to tell actors what they can or cannot do. When Sam made a comment to Steven Cree about his too short shorts fans browbeat him for using bad language. I get so afraid that fans acting like ninnies will get the show cancelled. Thanks again for saying what I would like to say.

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  43. One thing I would add: Stop saying “That isn’t what happened in the book!” and “That actor isn’t how I think the character looks!” (you touched on this in the blog post but I am expanding it). The series is not going to be an exact copy of the books, and no actor will ever be the embodiment of any character. So just stop it and enjoy the show for what it is instead of complaining it isn’t what YOU want it to be. It never will be all YOU want it to be because YOU are not the one making it.
    Rant over.

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  44. Could not have said it better myself, especially about the Sam-Cait shippers. Ugh.

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  45. exactly – and all the hyper criticism about how something that was in the book was not lived up to its full potential in the show…… give me a break already. can’t they just stop it and accept that the show is never going to EXACTLY like the book. good grief. I love these books and characters, but it seems that some are like you say…. obsessed.

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  46. Only quibble, Sam only has just over 200k followers not over 700k. But everything else is spot on.

    I have many a time wanted to jump through my computer and slap the stupid out of the “fans” for their behavior, from the “pick me, pick me” crowd to the “Sam, you and Cait need to have babies”.

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  47. As I am not one the mentioned in this article, I just say good for you putting it in print. These guys are human beings, doping a job, and amazingly, doing so much for charity and promoting the series. Idolize from afar and get a life, leave the stupidity, as all you might do is drive them away from the genuine fans that do respect them.

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  48. Wow this is quinkie dink…my nephew is a young up coming film producer and writer…and he’s doing a short film project on this very issue! Except with a twist…. The so said actor’s in his film start stalking the fans ..I guess its a comedy.. To give the fans a taste of there own behaviour… And they don’t like it one bit! I myself am quite shocked..embarrassed.. And sad over some of the trash I’ve read..and I love outlander show and books just as much as them..

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