Episode 203 Useful Occupations and Deceptions

Hello everyone and thanks for joining me in another recap of our favorite series! Episode 2 was fun to watch, and had a few introductions of new characters, including Master Raymond, Prince Charlie, and several others. Episode 3 did the same thing, with the inclusion of Wee Fergus, Bouton the canine diagnostician, and Mother Hildegarde, the head mistress of the Hospitale de Anges. The show was little on action, except for a set piece of Jamie chasing after a child, and there was a LOT of politics. Like, 80% of this episode was people sitting around rooms, brothels, and chess boards discussing politics.

Now, I know that’s the bulk of the thru line of this season, and its going to have a great payoff. So I’m okay with it for the time being. But I’m starting to bristle with the lack of romance during the last three episodes between Jamie and Claire. Now, I know last week I said the kid had PTSD, yes, but he can at least try to take care of his wife. I know some will disagree, but I can’t help but be dissatisfied with the lack of even a romantic connection between the two.

1. It starts with Claire waking up in an empty bed, and the sound of horses and carriages coming into the plaza of Chateau du Fraser. Jamie rushes up the steps to dress for more meetings, and the morning sun peeks into the windows behind him. Apparently, he has been out all night at the whorehouse, because Claire goes to hug him and at that point, the smells of weed and hooker sweat make her back off. Jamie explains he’s got to have a chat with Minister of Finance Duverney, because Charlie has finally thrown down the gauntlet on meeting the man, and Jamie can’t hold him off any longer. So with a quick change of clothes, he’s going out the door again.

Claire says, “Why don’t you come to bed, you’ve got to be tired.” But he’s not having it. He’s gotta go and do guy shit. He’s got business to run. On the way down the stairs, he realizes Sawnee, his carved snake, is missing. “Have the servants search for it.” he says. “Yes, I would like to find a snake,” she thinks. “But not wooden…”

“They’re not my ‘Ladies’,” she says as he’s out the door again. And we leave a frustrated Claire standing on the landing disappointed again because instead of going to bed and getting rest, or a facsimile thereof, she has to get ready to see her Tea ladies instead of having some blazing sex time with a hunky red headed Scotsman.
2. Claire is at tea with the ‘Ladies’, Mary Hawkins and Louise de Rohan. In the middle of a game of cards, Young Mary stutters “I can’t marry a Frenchman.” with a horrified look on her face, she explains that Frenchmen put their ‘things’ between a woman’s thighs and do horrible things to them. Louise just laughs, and Claire tells her, “We have to have a talk.”

Young Mary explains that “An Englishman or a Scot would never do that to a woman,” to which Claire starts to say, “Girl, you got no idea. I mean, a Scot is amazing at putting things between thighs. Trust me, I know. I mean, not recently, though, so I wouldn’t know about that. Actually its’ been quite a few months, actually, three months, seventeen days, three hours and twenty six seconds, but who’s keeping track, right. What I meant to say is, I JUST NEED TO GET LAID ALREADY!”

So Mary says, “Well, men where I come from don’t do that.” and Louise is all, “Oh, really? Where is that? The moon?” and it’s at this point where I’m thinking: During “The Martian, did Matt Damon’s character ever tug the pickle, as it were? I’m sure he would have. I mean, trapped on the farthest reaches of space for a couple of years you’d have to have some kind of need, right? Sorry, where was I? right, Miss Mary Hawkins and her rope between the thighs story.

“People in Sussex don’t do that,” and there we are shown another Frank and Claire flashback where he has a family bible that shows Mary Hawkins and Jonathan Woolverton Randall Esquire got together and had the child who would be the Randall family.

To which Claire comes back to herself and yells “FUUUUUCK! He can’t be dead, and we can’t kill him because duh, Time travel.. And this is where the time stream and Claire’s involvement in it screws up the time stream and if Frank isn’t born then she doesn’t go through the stones and it’s all very confusing so I’ll stop and just keep watching the show. It’s about this point I’m expecting a Police Call Box to drop out of the sky and a tall guy in a fedora, bushy hair, and a long scarf start telling her all about time travel paradoxes.

SIDE NOTE: Okay, I’ve got a slight peeve here. The running time of this episode was only 57 minutes, 3 less than the previous episodes. That’s not my complaint. However, those three minutes could have been used to add in probably what was one of the most hysterical conversations from the book. And I know, my BP is coming out, I understand. But to gloss so quickly over a scene that could have been mined for so many laughs kind of cheapens the source material. Book Purist rant over.

3. Claire runs away from the house and goes back home where she is greeted by one of the servants saying they have looked all over and “The Wee wooden snake” hasn’t been found anywhere. To which Claire says, “Well, there’s no snake anywhere in this house apparently. Least of all the bed.” She’s visibly upset by all manner of things, and goes in search of a servant girl Suzette, to mend a piece of lace. So she goes to the girl’s room and finds her in the middle of the horizontal dance with none other than Murtagh. And I’m totally shipping this.

She turns and goes back to her room after a quick apology. Murtagh comes in and apologizes for taking Suzette away from her work. Claire goes off on him, for no reason at all. She’s really being a hormonal bitch right now, and Murtagh calls her on it. As far as I’m concerned, he’s free to do whatever, whenever, with whoever he chooses. Claire realizes this, and says, “I’m not myself lately.” and he agrees.

Then she lays down a zinger, “Jack Randall is still alive.”

Murtagh protests saying that he was crushed under a door at Wentworth. But no, Randall’s brother told her it was true. Well, they agree that they can’t tell Jamie because it would be bad if the guy tried to go back for revenge. One way or the other, if Jamie found out, he would go and be killed either way. Even if he killed Randall, he would be hung.

Claire says, “No we can’t kill him because we would interrupt the time stream and bad things would happen.” to which Murtagh looks and says, “What?” “oh, Nevermind, did I say that out loud?” she answers and lets the matter drop. Murtagh says, “Well, if we’re done here, I’ve got to finish what I started before you came in and cock blocked me.” #GirlsThatFineDontWait.

Claire asks about birth control and Murtagh says he doesn’t know what control is, to which Claire says, “I’ll go see about something for Suzette. “Dammit, now I have to invent birth control pills too? In addition to penicillin, ether, and a host of other things that would make my job here a bit easier?

4. Minister Duverney is overly confident when confronting Jamie on the chessboard, not knowing he has chosen to play against Deep Blue. Within seconds, Jamie moves a few pieces and wins the match. More political talk happens, with Duverney saying, “Dude, if you want my help, lose at chess.” and Jamie says, “Yeah, I could do that, but I respect you too much.” at which, I’m thinking, This guy almost molested your wife, how do you respect him?

So Jamie tells him the deal, Ponce Charlie wants to meet finally. Come to the brothel with me tonight and meet him. Tell him the king doesn’t want to get involved in foreign entanglements and doesn’t want to give any more money to a failed cause. Duverney says, “Well, I haven’t been in the brothel in a while. Wife keeps a tight reign on my activities. What about yours?”

About this time, I’m thinking, there haven’t been any activities in their past for a few months.

5. So Claire goes off in search of medicine for her servant girl at the office of Master Raymond, apothecary. She arrives, and Raymond is having a discussion with Le Compte St. Germaine, or as I affectionately call him, Compte du Petrole.

If this guy is supposed to be a villain, he isn’t doing a very good job. I mean, he’s appeared in two episodes and all he’s done is stare menacingly at Claire every opportunity he gets. He says little or nothing to her, and right now, I’m thinking, really? This is supposed to be the bad guy? Dude needs to take a page out of the “Jack Randall Villainy Playbook” if I’m going to take him seriously.

Claire and Du Petrole say their goodbyes and it’s off to Master Raymond’s shop where she buys the contraceptive medicine she needs. Meanwhile, they talk about poison, which Claire sees immediately. Raymond says, “It’s not really so much poison, but something that makes people look like they’re dying, but they recover, and the people who feed it to them are satisfied so all in all it’s a Win-Win.”

Then she mentions that she’s bored. She ahs nothing important to do, and Raymond says, “Go on down to the charity hospital and help out. They’re always looking for people with your particular set of skills.”

6. At the hospital, Murtagh isn’t so sure about this.

So it’s off to the Hospitale du Anges where she meets Mother Hildegarde and her Canine Diagnostician Bouton. She’s off to a rousing start when she has to diagnose a woman who is wasting away of consumption. Well, she tastes the woman’s urine, figures out she’s dying of Diabetes, and tells Mother Hildegarde this. Impressed, Mama Claire gets promoted to Scrofula duty.
7. Jamie and Mr. Duverney are in the brothel meeting the Bonny Ponce and discussing politics. It’s at this point I loose interest in what they’re talking about because there’s half naked women walking around and body painting all over themselves. The men are talking and all I hear is “Politics, politics, politics.” There’s something about the Bonny Ponce saying he’s got most of the funding, from several wealthy English patrons, and what he wants from King Louis is an alliance. Between England and France.

Well, Jamie is surprised.

8. Jamie comes home and no one is around. It seems the servants are all gone, except for one, who tells Jamie that Claire has been gone all day. Cue the “Writing Letters all night with candles burning montage.” Claire comes home and is excited. She’s had a wonderful day. Full of pustules, boils, broken bones, and all kinds of other fun medical issues. Jamie’s not having it though. He’s upset and they get into a conversation about her role as a woman of the house.

SIDE NOTE: Where’s the fireworks here? When I read this, it seemed the tension was palpable. There’s yet another disconnect to the emotions. Seems to me, they should have been shouting at each other a bit more, like the Episode 9 “By the Brook” scene. But no, they kind of just talk like normal people. I don’t know if it was a director’s idea, but it seems like Jamie would have been a lot more angry having to wait hours for his wife to come home. Angry enough for them to get into a full on shouting match like a couple of heavyweights in a boxing ring.

Claire tells Jamie about Mother Hildegarde and how she’s a musical prodigy which will not ever come into play at a later time in the show. Lol. Jamie needs someone to talk to when he has some bad news and boy did he get a whopper today. So they go back and forth rather calmly, I might add, about her role, and his role, and finally, he says, “I have to lie and cheat and swindle my friends, to hell with you getting what you want, what about what I want?” And he’s kind of right. She has put him in the unenviable position to try to change history while she goes off gallivanting around town in dirty hospitals, having Tea with the ladies, visiting Apothecaries.

She tells him she’ll be there for him a bit more, and he’s all, “Well, we’ll see about that, imma bounce!” and he goes off back to the Brothel to drink again. Because that’s what he’s been doing to get the demons out of his head. He can’t sleep because of the nightmares. And one of these days soon, I’m hoping Claire will do this.

 

SIDE NOTE: Now, I know what they’re doing here and its frustrating for the audience. By creating a gulf between the two romantic leads, they’re building up the dramatic and sexual tension until they actually have a big knock down drag out full on 30 minute fuck fest in their room about episode 6 or so. Ron and Co. have to keep up the tension, and there are people out there who are saying, “We want Jamie and Claire to make the sexy time!” Give it a minute. It will have a reward you’re waiting for, I promise. Trust the creators of the show, it’ll be well worth the wait.

9. At the Brothel, we see a young servant boy discreetly pick pocketing patrons of the house. Jamie notices, and goes to confront the kid. Well, a merry chase ensues that leads the duo through some of the back alleys of Paris, until Jamie catches up to the kid and captures him.

Wee Fergus is a kid who grew up in the brothel, and is pretty good at filching things, including a wooden snake about wee long. He’s the one who has Sawnee, which Jamie finds after picking the kid up and shaking him about. He offers the kid a job, work for him and he can stay at the house. Well, the kid accepts, because if he doesn’t, Jamie’s going to tell the mistress Fergus has been taking things from patrons, so he’s between a rock and a hard place here.

10. At home, Claire is tossing to and fro in the bed, and is frustrated all to be damned because her husband isn’t here. Also, that baby bump is getting bigger, and from what I’ve seen from pregnant women, it’s hard to get comfy when you’ve got an alien inside you. Downstairs, she hears activity, and traipses off to investigate. In the grand dining hall, she notices the kid at the table. He promptly acts like a miniature Joey Tribiani

And says, “Hiya toots, nice tits!” Well, Murtagh comes in and clouts him for it, saying, “He told Suzette the same thing and she gave him a chicken leg. I mean, it’s true, she does have a nice set of mammaries, but he didn’t need to point it out.” Ahh, 18th century males have no idea what’s coming around the corner when it comes to women’s rights.

So she asks Jamie about the kid and he reveals a grand plan. They need to find a way to get information in the letters that Ponce Charlie has delivered, and to do that, they need a pick pocket. So, Fergus is going to get them, they’ll copy them, and then give them back to the appropriate parties when they’re done. This goes on for a few weeks, until they find a copy of a song with musical notes on it. Well, it’s a German song, sent from England. The notes are some kind of gibberish, and the guys need to find someone who knows music. I wonder where they can find someone who knows all about music. Where oh where will they find a musical prodigy? Hmm….

11. At le Hospitale des Anges, Claire is looking for the cause of a man’s sudden sickness and is having a hard time about it. Well, enter Bouton the dog, a lovable scamp that walks the halls of the hospital with Mother Hildegarde. He finds a small hole that was thought to be healed, but it turns out the man has sepsis because something is still lodged in the skin. And Doctor Claire, medicine woman goes to work.
Call me a wuss, because every time she starts cutting into flesh, and excising stuff and doing a MacGyver on a patient, I cringe and look away. The sounds here make it even worse. There’s a lot of squelching, and slicing, and I’m starting to feel like I’m watching an episode of Dexter when she pulls out whatever was lodged inside the man’s stomach.

Then, Jamie comes in and surprises everyone. “So I heard there was a musical prodigy on site?”

12. Hildegarde brings the dynamic duo into her music room and Jamie gives her the music. Turns out, its written as a code, and the keys in the musical notes tell the person which letters to find in order to figure out the message. So they take it back to the house, decipher the note and figure out it’s been written by Sandringham. The note basically confirms that Ponce Charlie is telling the truth about the money being available. So Jamie and Murtagh hatch a plan to go talk to Sandringham when he gets in town. They’re going to tell the man giving any kind of money to the Prince is a bad investment, thus bringing the rising to a close.

And at this point I notice the clock on the mantle, giving the metaphor of time, and a quick nod to Ron and Co for brilliant use of objects as reminders of what these people are trying to do. Well, in that moment, Jamie is all smiles, happy that they’ve finally figured out what to do. He rushes off to get some drinks, when Murtagh, ever the downer, says, “Claire, you have to tell him Jack’s alive, if Sandringham tells him, there’ll be hell to pay.” to which she says, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” But then he comes back all happy with drinks in his hands and Claire’s got this look

And when Jamie asks, “What’s wrong?” she’s all, “I am glad to see you happy finally,” then looks over at Murtagh as the Godfather shakes his head.

Fade to black.

And now here it is, your Jamie Mooney eye pic of the week