Episode 206 Best Laid Schemes

 

How does it seem like sixty minutes flies by? There is always so much happening in each episode it’s hard to keep up. I end up missing a few things here and there. But like many of you, I keep going back and reviewing just so I can catch some things I missed. Let’s get to it then, shall we?

1. We start with Jamie at a desk, looking introspective. Murtagh comes in, announces that Randall has been released from the Bastille and he has talked to Randall’s second about a meeting place. It’s to be set in the woods outside of town because the gendarme will not be patrolling the area and they’ll be safe to have their duel without interference from meddling cops or wayward kids and dogs looking for adventure. And speaking of kids and dogs, did Fergus kill it this week or what?

Jamie’s not having it, though. He tells Murtagh the duel has been called off. Well, the Godfather isn’t happy with this news, and asks “Why?” Jamie’s all, “I can’t tell you. It’s complicated.” Murtagh isn’t having any of it though, and is pissed off, telling Jamie “You’re acting like a woman in flux.”

2. Claire is at the Hospitale, and is asked to help with a body by the royal Executioner. He says he has to go set up the execution of several people who are accused of practicing the dark arts. Apparently, the king wants these people drawn and quartered. He then goes on to elaborate on the process with grisly passion. “What you do is hang the person until they are mostly dead, you open up their chest cavity and sever the main arteries, and you pull their still beating heart out and show it to them while they are still alive to see it all.”

Then he mentions ominously that she looks pale, and maybe she should go see if her friend “Master Raymond” can give her to ease her discomfort. Which is a huge red flag because I was thinking, “How does he know she goes there?” Well, this is a warning of sorts, so she goes directly to Raymond’s, does not pass go, and definitely does not collect two hundred dollars.

3. At Raymond’s, she tells him that he needs to leave the area, and close up shop for a while. When he questions why, she tells him that the executioner named him personally, and about the whole, pull your heart out still beating deal.

4. Wherein we learn how to make small pox symptoms from simple house hold goods. Like Nettles, Rose Madder, essence of Rosemary, bitter Cascara, and Bicarbonate of Soda. Jamie is sitting there, as her guinea pig, while Murtagh complains about the whole process and Fergus fiddles with her things. She gets annoyed with Fergus and instructs him to pay attention because he’s going to have to do all this stuff a little bit later and needs to know how to do it. He’s all like, “What?” while playing hide and seek with a bandage.

Meanwhile, Murtagh is all, “If we had followed my instructions a long time ago, we could have killed the man. Problem solved.” and at this point I like his idea because then we wouldn’t have heard “Mark me” about two dozen times.

Claire says, “No, we don’t want his dad down on our throats, because that would be bad. And also, it wouldn’t satisfy history or the timeline we are so desperate to interrupt.” Murtagh gets annoyed and storms off to pace in the courtyard down below. Fergus is shooed away by Jamie and Claire, and then they look at each other and both agree that now is the time to tell Murtagh everything.
5. In the courtyard, we see Jamie and Murtagh talking, and Jamie tells him everything that Claire has told him. About the stones, the rising, the clans uniting with Stuart, Randall, Frank, the whole thing. Even Culloden and the disaster on the Moor.

In the end, he asks, “If you knew all this, why didn’t you tell me before? Did ye think ye couldna trust me? I’m Murtagh, who else can you trust?” To which the rest of the audience and myself go, “Duh, yeah!” Why all the secrecy and keeping this man in the dark is a wonder. I never got that.

6. So after a brief and touching scene involving sending off her husband and Fergus to do their dirty work, she goes up and talks to Murtagh.

He begins by showing her a timeline of when she came from up to the point where she went through the stones and asks, “So you lived all these years? And you know what happens to us?”

“Yep. Pretty much. I was born in 1918 and got my nursing degree in 1939. After the war, watch out for Hitler by the way, bad news all around, that guy, I went through the stones and ended up here.” and he’s all, “So you know what happens now. About the rising, about how it ends, about Culloden.” and she explains that Yes, she does now about the rising and the last battle, but she doesn’t know the particulars of who dies and what the casualties are. Because she never really paid that much attention when her husband was spouting off history because it was like, dull and shit. Because she’d rather go off in the woods looking for blue flowers and getting shunted through time.

He responds by saying he wouldn’t want to be burdened by the knowledge of future events. It must be a curse. Then he touches her hands and they share a caring look between themselves. It’s another Aww moment and I’m glad they didn’t pull away at that moment. I love how they let some scenes breathe, like the later one between Jamie and Claire talking to the baby.

7. The intense Horse Riding Montage strikes again. Jamie and Fergus go through several picturesque landscapes on their way to bring Fake Smallpox to the workers at the wine warehouse. They finally get to Le Havre at night, and Fergus makes a bunch of stealth checks to get into the warehouse, grab some bottles, and run to Jamie. They spike the punch, as it were, and the Fergus once again goes into the warehouse where he has several minutes uninterrupted to do everything Mama Claire told him to do. Seems like he was paying attention after all. What a bright boy, and intelligent boy. I believe I’m going to like children. Then they ride back into the darkness, like the harbingers of fake disease they are.

8. Back home, Jamie comes to Claire in bed and says “Everything went off without a hitch. Need a delivery of pestilence and disease? Call Fraser and company, the finest plague bringers in France.” They go to sleep and the next day, Jamie gets summoned to see Ponce Charlie at the brothel. He goes there only to be confronted by Chuckles and Le Petrole du Jour.

Charles says that the warehouse workers have contacted some strange illness, and it could jeopardize the entire arrangement. Well, St. Germaine is having none of it. First, it’s awfully suspicious that the wine is at one of the Fraser’s warehouses. Second, it mirrors the symptoms that got his wine burned in the first episode, and third, he just doesn’t like the chiseled cut of Jamie’s jaw.

They have to do something with the bodies of the affected men. And Jamie’s all, “Dude, why don’t you pay off the harbormaster, isn’t that how it’s normally done with you people?” and Le Comte answers, “We tried but he’s untouchable. He’s too scrupulous for that.” So they decide to transport the wine somewhere else. And after a few shouted words from both Poncey and Germaine, Jamie decides that’s the best option. Le Comte wants to accompany him on the journey though, so there’s another hitch in the plan.

9. Back at Chateau Fraser, Murtagh is getting fitted for a suit that he doesn’t want to wear, a French Nobleman’s outfit. Suzette the Maid/hoor is helping him into it, and later says she will help him out of it, nudge nudge wink wink grin grin, say no more.
Jamie is explaining the plan to Claire. They’re going to rob the stagecoach, as it were. Murtagh put an add in Craigslist for “men of a particular nature who wish to make money on the side by robbing wine merchants.

She isn’t into this at all, because all kinds of things could go wrong. But Jamie reminds her that he’s just a wine merchant. The guy who would get caught and hung would be Murtagh. “That’s not helping,” she says. Because Murtagh and she are besties. Oh, and he isn’t supposed to die just yet.

See what happens when you try to change the future Claire? It leads to all kinds of complications and needless risk. But at least Murtagh is getting some action before going out and risking his life to stop the Ponce from becoming king.

10. Well, then we get to a sweet little scene of Jamie and Claire in bed, and he’s talking to the baby, and Ovaries across the viewing public melt because he’s all, “Aww shucks” and adorable about it. And then he asks if they could go to town on each other and if it would “Hurt the bairn,” but she assures him it won’t. So the birds and the bees start to callin’.

11. The raid goes off with only a few problems, but none insurmountable for our intrepid heroes. Le Comte tries to be a hero and gets into a stand off with Murtagh. Jamie stands up to stop the stand off and Murtagh shoots just at the point Jamie pushes Le Comte out of the way and jumps Murtagh. Well they go through the motions of a fight while Germaine is led away by the other men yelling, “You don’t know who the fuck you’re dealing with, here.” and I’m thinking, “Yeah, the jig is going to be up if he finds out what really happened.” and it won’t be good for our intrepid heroes when he does find out. Which he will, because things like this always come back and bite them in the ass.

Murtagh knocks Jamie out and as he goes out, we hear Germaine yelling, “Let go of me!” before a flash cut to the French Tea Ladies.

12. They are discussing the current gossip between the Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and her lover, when Claire, discomfited by all this talk suddenly gets all Claire on the group. “Don’t you think you should be doing something about the homeless population? Just yesterday I saw a woman and her baby dead on the street. Don’t you people realize there’s going to be a revolution in a few years that will change all this? Gaaahd!”

And they answer, “Well, let’s get the king to move them to a more undesirable place in the city. Problem solved.” and then that happens, the people rise up in revolt, and it wouldn’t have happened if Claire hadn’t opened up her mouth. So thanks, Claire Fraser, you started the French Revolution. Good job. Anything else in the time stream you want to completely disregard and fuck up?

13. At Le Hospitale, Claire is helping with patients when she becomes on herself. She ahs been running herself ragged, trying to do everything for everyone except herself. Mother Hildegard notices she’s weak and tells her to lay down. It is then we see blood on her stockings, and the first pangs of doubt about the baby start coming to me.

SIDE NOTE: I know from the books she is going to lose the child, and how it all works out is just like the book. I am so glad they kept all this and it all worked out like it did in DIA. The last shots of the episode are just how I imagined them when I read it, and it is a testament to the great writing and directing here that they kept this whole sequence. I loved it! Thanks Ron and Co.

Mother Hildegarde tells her that she will send Fergus back to Chateau Fraser with news, and Cutie McFergus goes off to tell Jamie about Mama Claire.

14. Meanwhile, Jamie, Le Comte, and Poncey are discussing the whole deal and what went wrong. Germaine is verra suspicious about the whole affair. I mean, what are the odds, French highwaymen, dark of night, well traveled road, wealthy merchants with a shit ton of wine? How could that have happened? Poncey reminds Le Comte that Jamie saved his life, and when Germaine calms down a bit, the king starts crying like a wuss. “I’m broke! What’ll I do?”

15. Jamie is eating breakfast, wondering where Claire is when Fergus comes in to tell him what’s up. They discuss Murtagh going to Portugal with the wine. And Fergus says, “Out of sight, out of mind.“ and Jamie’s all, “Where did you hear that?“ and Fergus answers, “Claire says it to me all the time.” Jamie says. “That’s the first I’ve heard of it. She usually says Fuck and bastard and Jesus H Roosevelt Christ a lot around me. I wonder why that is.”

Just about that point, Suzette comes in and tells Jamie to get to the Brothel because Poncey owes a great debt to the establishment and they want payment. So he and Fergus go to the brothel to arrange for payment.
At the brothel, Fergus says, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good” and goes off in search of stuff to steal. He goes into the one room that is open. Thinking he is getting away with something, he picks up a bottle of perfume just as the camera pans away and we see an oddly familiar red coat. then the door snaps shut.

16. Claire comes home from the Hospital, still weak, and inquires about Jamie. Well, no one wants to tell him until she confronts Suzette about his whereabouts. “Milord was called to the brothel because Poncey wouldn’t pay his debt, and during there, wee Fergus got into some trouble with an English officer named Randall. I’m sure you know who that is? Because I hear Jamie talk about how much of a shmuck douchebag he is all the time. Something about a duel? I don’t know because I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of that delicious face of his. Did you notice that cleft in his chin?”

So Claire runs to the carriage master and tells him to hurry to the site of the duel. We get a cross montage of her anxiously telling the driver of the carriage to hurry intercut with the two men crossing sabers. It’s a fight to the finish between the two of them, and Jamie is holding his own against the Master of Dragoons. Claire, meanwhile, is having more and more pain with the baby, and I’m thinking, “Has it been nine months?”

Then, just as she gets there, the men are at the height of the duel. She runs to the edge of the clearing and yells Jamie’s name, and the men look to her direction. Jamie takes this moment to stab Randall in the groin, and I’m like, “Oww, right in the baby maker!” wait….

At this point, Claire vanishes from thin air, shunted back to her regular time and there’s all kinds of horrible things that go along with the time line that destroys the universe. Or is that how my heart felt when she started bleeding all over and the Carriage driver holds her as she collapses, near death? I’m sure that was it.

The gendarme come to arrest the men for dueling, and Jamie can’t reach his wife who is clearly in the moment of distress and pain. They’re yelling each other’s names and it’s about this point my heart is in my throat because I have lost the ability to form a coherent sentence other than, “NOOOOO!” The carriage driver gets Claire up and says he’ll take her back home, and she says, “No take me to the hospital. Mother Hildegarde!” an then the screen goes blank.

That’s when I look at the next week’s episode title “Faith” and my heart sinks. Because I know this one is where the shit hit’s the fan with everything that has led up to this point. All their schemes will have been for naught. Why, oh, why Diana, do you treat us this way?! An Why do we keep coming back to endless tragedy?

Meanwhile, Game of Thrones fans are over here like,

No here it is, your Jamie Fraser Mooney eye pic of the week.