Episode 209 Je Suis Prest

 

Jamie the General makes an appearance, and makes it his mission to turn peasants and cottars and smiths into a real fighting force. Claire has her own troubles, in the form of PTSD and remembering an incident with two young Airborne Troops in world war two. Dougal is pulling a Dougal, and the boys are back! Angus and Rupert show why they are always fan favorites. Oh, and Willie got married and was shipped off to America, to satisfy fans who were worried he would die a virgin on the bloody field of Culloden.

At first, this episode seemed “Off’ for me. There just seemed like there was something missing in all the training montages and flashbacks that I couldn’t put a finger on. It wasn’t until my third viewing that it hit me. This is a total Claire centric episode. Everything we see is mostly from her point of view, much like in the books. And don’t worry, I’m not going to have a book purist rant here. The reason she’s sad, the reason she is having all these horrible thoughts is that she’s been here before. She knows what happens in war. She knows what is happening to all these men, and her love and admiration for them shows. And her undeniable anger in knowing they are going to all die shows as well. She can’t escape that knowledge. Much like a spoiler before one of your favorite TV shows, you can’t forget no matter how hard you try. So it is with that knowledge she must at least attempt to help them, even though it makes her angry at them sometimes. So let’s get with it, aye?

1. We begin at the point we left off last week, where the men from Lovat’s lands have joined the march to war. Along the way they have lost some men when they realized that they were leaving family and friends and might possibly die for a doomed cause. The remaining men are just ambling along, holding their weapons of choice: Rakes, sticks, brooms, and other long handled farm implements. Because this is all they have. Historically, most peasants and working class guys didn’t have swords and rifles because they just didn’t have that much money. Whatever tools they had to work the land they usually made from sticks and stones, and they won’t much hurt the English troops with musket and cannon.

Claire explains in a voice over that young Simon Lovat has gone to fetch the men back and promise them land and other fine goods if they come back to the army. And good luck with that, what is he going to do, recite poetry at them til they join ranks? “Fine, fine, I’ll come back, just stop reciting verse about hurricanes to me. Jees!”

2. Then we see Murtagh and Fergus, our secondary comedy duo. Murtagh asks what took them so long, as he’s prepared a jig to dance but I guess forgot it in the five days they were later than expected. Then Murtagh sees the recruits and says, “Not much there, aye? I’ll see about whipping them into shape. Guess I’m going to have to go all R Lee Ermey up in this bitch.” (What, you didn’t think I was going to go all Full Metal Jacket this time? Think again!) Granted, Lovat didn’t send his best, Jamie agrees, but it shouldn’t take too much to shape them up. Of course, after seeing Ross and Kinkaid, he changes his mind.

Fergus comes out and complains about mistreatment from Murtagh. “He made me do all kinds of things, like fetch water, and hunt, and brush his horse saying ‘brush left, brush right, brush left, brush right.’ But in the end, I’ve got some totally rad karate moves so that’s a plus.”

3. Then, after a montage of men in tents and a nice song, out dynamic duo wakes up to a new dawn, bright with sunshine. Claire says she’s going to get the ladies to cook up as many bannocks as she can, and just as the two are set to their daily tasks, some familiar friends show their ugly mugs. Rupert and Angus show up, and Angus wants to go full on mouth slobber with her immediately.

“Did Willie not come with you?” she asks, and the two men just kind of hem and haw and stare at their feet like there’s something wrong. After a suitable period of grim faced silence, they say that the lad’s gone and got himself married. “To an Irish lass,” of all things. Willie’s moved to the new world, giving hope to all the people who wanted him to survive Culloden and bag a lass. Now that he’s in the new world, that bodes well for his inclusion in the series in future. Seeing as how Season 3 and 4 were announced this past week.

Then Dougal shows up, and proves once again what a Debbie Downer he really is.

SIDE NOTE: Okay, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate Dougal. He is, at heart, a patriot. All he wants to do is get the show on the road all during this episode. He’s just trying to get Jamie to understand that. Jamie and he are at odds this entire episode, and there are some times when Jamie totally disrespects his uncle. I get what the two are trying to do, but for some reason, I guess in my opinion, if my uncle came by to help me train troops, I would respect his judgment and wouldn’t talk down to him so much.

Dougal wants to get the guys going, they can learn to march on the way to Ponce Charlie’s camp. But Jamie has other things in mind. He wants to have the men trained to march, move in formation, learn to handle rifles, and swords. These are untrained men who just amble and caper about. They won’t be worth anything when they meet the enemy. Dougal is all, “each man is worth ten times the English. They’ll be fine once I show them how to destroy a straw dummy.”

Jamie agrees to let Dougal and the others help train the undisciplined mob he’s been given, and that’ll have to do. Dougal agrees, and seems to look forward to the idea. For a few minutes until he starts screwing shit up the way only Dougal Mackenzie can.

4. Later that day, Murtagh is trying to get the men to follow orders as any drill sergeant can. He isn’t getting far though, as the men just laugh and screw off when he’s yelling at them. For some reason they don’t seem to want to take this whole “Marching and strutting about” thing seriously. One asks, “When are we getting some real weapons?”

While Murtagh is shouting at the new recruits, Claire has the first flashback of her days in the army during World War 2. The duality of Murtagh the Drill sergeant starts a series of flashbacks throughout the episode that tell a story of two young Airborne troops she comes to know. Its all quite a surprise, because she thought the incidents long buried, as most painful memories become over time.

5. She steps away from the action to find Fergus playing shinty with the fellows. This then invokes another flashback of the men in WW2 playing American baseball. That’s when I have a sudden thought, “Why didn’t Claire teach the highlanders baseball? Or football for that matter? Come on, Claire, if you’re going to try to change history, make the Scots be the ones who invent a cool sport instead of one where they hit a little white ball into little round cups. Show them a sport where they hit home runs instead of birdies and pars.

She grabs Fergus by the scruff of the neck and tells him to fetch water for Jamie. Then we have a montage of the men doing manly man things like stabbing straw dummies in the throat, marching about, Murtagh hitting and yelling at them to listen up, and Smiths making weapons and women packing musket balls.

6. One night later, Dougal is pleased with the progress of the men and says, “So let’s go see the Prince, there are clans coming to him every day, getting into his inner council. I need to be there because, well, I mean, I’m Dougal Fucking Mackenzie, and he’ll love me.” Jamie counters that he isn’t interested in being in the prince’s inner council. And I understand why because he doesn’t want to hear “Mark Me” anymore, and also he thinks the prince is an epic douchebag, so he’s in no hurry to make the men hurry up.

Murtagh is also unconvinced, that the men will all die if they face the enemy in their sad state, and Jamie pretty much agrees and shuts down Dougal’s, “Let’s go so I can get in good with the Prince” act he’s got going on.

7. Then Claire goes to Flashbackville again, when she sees Angus spitting out some bannocks he doesn’t like. This reminds her of a conversation with the two Airborne troops who were complaining about the food during WW2. Tex and Yonkers have been separated from their unit during D-Day, and ended up in a British camp. There’s talk of home, why black pudding doesn’t taste anything like sausage, pudding in general, and George Bernard Shaw for some reason. It appears Tex is a learned man which refreshingly goes against the Southern Redneck stereotype in other forms of entertainment.

8. That night, Jamie walks in on Claire fretting about something, and he instantly knows there’s something wrong. So when he asks if she is alright, she responds with “I’m fine.” which instantly sends up red flags, warning flares, and a legion of guys in the audience going, “SHE’S NOT FINE! DON’T BUY IT!” because that’s true. If a significant other says, “I’m fine,” she is absolutely so far away from fine she may as well be on another continent.

“I’m sorry I brought you here. I should have left you at Lallybroch,” he explains, hoping he’s saying the right thing. She has his Brooch “Je Suis Prest” in her hand, and the full understanding of what is to come seems to wash over her. Then he vows to keep her safe, and she insists that she is fine. But she’s really not, and he isn’t convinced.

9. The next day, Jamie delivers his “St. Crispin’s Day” speech to the men who are still going through the motions in a half hearted attempt at not being yelled at by Murtagh. So here he is talking about being a proper soldier, about war in general, and how the men should be like the English, and then Dirty Dougal and the Angry Scots (which would be a great band name BTW) come out of the blue wearing only kilts and mud screaming Tulach Ard! And waving swords around like a bunch of madmen. Naturally, the men Jamie was trying to mold into Well Trained and Disciplined soldiers all react like a bunch of scaredy cats and run off in all directions.

Apparently, Dougal thinks the only way to defeat the Brits is to run at them pell mell and scatter their ranks with a grand Scottish charge. In the face of muskets. And cannon. And well trained militia pointing weapons at them. Without any kind of clothes. Yeah, that’s going to work out well. Jamie doesn’t share his enthusiasm and takes him to task over it.

Basically, telling him that if Dougal can’t abide by the terms of Jamie being the BMOC then his help isn’t wanted and he can just go. Dougal takes this, as if his pride has been slapped, and I understand why. This is one of those moments that make me angry for Dougal. Here he is trying his best to help his nephew and show him another way to make the men truly highland soldiers, and Jamie is pushing it right back at him, which, to me, shows a little bit of disrespect.

10. Dougal goes to Claire a bit later after he’s had a chance to freshen up. I mean, dirt makes the man savage and fierce, but also makes the man icky and smelly and gross. He tries to convince her to talk to Jamie and tell him to follow Dougal’s lead, but apparently Claire remembers how much of a douchebag he’s been to her and tells him, in essence, “No way no how.” because she isn’t going to say anything about how her husband conducts himself in regards to his troops.

He’s all, “But what about our arrangement, is that still valid? Because if he dies, I’m still wanting a bit of that Claire Fraser honeypot if you know what I mean. Oh, you didn’t tell him about that, did you?” and Claire answers, “Dude, really? I tell Papa Fraser everything. He’s chill with it. But we have a backup plan so don’t worry about that.” and then she goes on, “You’re a narcissistic bully, you only care about yourself, so kindly go fuck yourself, because I don’t give a shit about you or what you do or anything about you. The amount of time Dougal Mackenzie occupies of my brain is less than the time it takes for me to say ‘There’s no place like home’.”

All he can say is, “I’m a patriot. And if having a love of country is a sin, then by god I’m the most offending soul alive.” or something. It’s about this point in time when I can’t decide if I’m watching Henry the fifth or an Outlander episode.

11. The next day, the men are going about their routines with rifles. Jamie and Murtagh are looking at Claire from a distance, and it seems like she’s having a meltdown. Jamie said he asked about what was wrong, and she said fine, to which Murtagh says, “You know that’s not true right? No woman is ever just ‘Fine’, lad. Ye ken that, I hope, from being married for over two years?” and Jamie’s all, “Oh, aye, but she isn’t talking to me, and that could mean any number of things.”

A few minutes later, Angus and Rupert are talking about their feet when Claire comes in and sees the unmistakable symptoms of trench foot. She then goes on a tear about how they should take better care of their feet. This prompts a flashback of her in camp during the War where she is explaining to the young soldiers the dangers of trench foot and how to stop it. One kid isn’t having any of it, instead he’s been checking out her ass this whole time and giving her the “How you doin‘?” smiley face thing.

Then she comes back into her own, and yells at the obstinate highlander once again, then storms out leaving Angus with a dumbfounded look on his face.

12. That night, presumably, the men are sitting around and having a few drinks and sharing ribald stories when Dougal comes in with more recruits for the Jacobite cause. Jamie says, “How did you get them past the sentries?” and Dougal says, “We just went to the gate and they waved us through.” So Jamie sends Murtagh to get the sentries on duty and it just so happens to be fucking Ross and Kinkaid, the Scottish Highlander version of Mutt and Jeff.

Jamie listens as Dougal explains that these are all true Scots and they’re ready and willing to die for their king. Jamie is unconvinced. So he tells the guys that are kind of mealy mouthed, “Listen, if you’re not here of your own free will then leave. Because if you stay, you’re committing treason and could all hang for it.” so the guys leave, and it’s just Dougal and Jamie alone.

Jamie’s all, “You shouldn’t bring these guys here. I told you to follow orders, which didn’t include pressing other clansmen into service.” but Dougal’s all, “Do you know what’s at stake here? I bring you ten guys and you send them away. What the heck is wrong with you?”

Then Murtagh marches Ross and Kinkaid in, tells them that they’re under arrest, and that they are no longer on sentry duty. Dougal and his men are. And that’s an order.

We now take a break in the recap for Knee Porn.

In the morning, Jamie uses Ross and Kinkaid as a disciplinary message by giving them six lashes each with a belt. man, they got off easy, I usually had ten or more when I screwed up as a kid. And I wasn’t in charge of keeping my family safe, just getting good grades and not fighting with my sister.

13. After the punishment scene, Claire goes total Flashback meltdown while walking past the men firing muskets. Apparently, Tex and Yonkers needed to be taken back to their unit. At night. In a lone jeep. With Claire along for the ride. In a combat zone. Near the staging area of the 12th SS Panzer division.^.

SIDE NOTE: please excuse the history nerd break. The above information is only speculative, as during operation overlord, I can only make assumptions based on where the British second army was in relation to Claire Randall. I’m guessing that she would be somewhere near the 30th corps in the fighting around Villers Bocage. This was the staging area for much of the SS Panzer division and the PanzerLehr division. During that battle and Montgomery’s attempt to take Caen, the front changed rapidly from day to day. So the jeep that went to far at night thinking they were safe, would indeed have stumbled into an ambush. History nerd break over

So the jeep is shot at by machine gun fire, flips over, and Claire goes out, only to find herself waking up in a ditch with Tex as her only companion and Yonkers screaming out in pain for his mother. He goes off to see what kind of damage he could do, but gets cut down by the machine gun as well, and Claire is left with the horrific cries of dying men while she attempts to shield her ears from them, knowing how helpless she is to end their suffering. In the morning, American soldiers come to her aid, find her in the ditch experiencing her own Saving Private Ryan moment. And then she flashes back to Jamie yelling her name and wondering what’s wrong.

So she tells him, and apparently she blocked it out. Because that’s what you do to painful memories. You just get up the next day like it never happened and wait for a bit when it will come up again, usually at the worst possible time. So he says, “I shouldn’t have brought you here. Go back to Lallybroch.” to which she answers, “Yeah, no. I’m staying with you, ginger. You can’t get rid of me that easy. If I leave, it’ll be like going into that ditch all over, and I can’t leave, knowing that there are people I love dying and with me not being able to do anything about it.” and Jamie’s all, “I’ll never leave you alone again. We’re Team Fraser, remember?” Then the scene fades with our dynamic duo hugging it out.

14. While Jamie is doing his business outside, later on that night we meet Lord John Grey, one of my favorite characters in all the novels. Right now, he’s a sixteen year old with delusions of grandeur. What delusions, you ask? Trying to take down Jamie MacHunkington Fraser, for starters. So the kid gets the jump on him, but he does a judo chop on the kid’s arm and breaks it.

The painful yelling brings out the highlanders in full force and the boy is subdued. Apparently Johnny boy snuck into the camp past the sentries and saw the reprehensible Red Jamie, a traitorous scumbag that is wanted for too many crimes to list here. Jamie wants to know where the English camp is, but the kid is stone faced and so Jamie goes for the torture routine. Apparently this involves a Hot dirk on the side of the whelp’s nose. But then Claire comes in and sees what’s going on and changes the entire torture dynamic to one of the “Damsel in distress” vibe.

Jamie picks up on this, and appealing to the boy’s honorable nature goes to Claire and says, “I’ll ravish this fine English woman right in front of you and then pass her around to my men if you don’t tell us what we want to know.” There’s Claire going along with it, until Jamie gets a little too into the “Ravish the Englishwoman act” and she fights back a bit hard.

Lord John relents, then tells them where the English army is camped. “But they have like a lot of guns, and men, and cannons, and other stuff to kill highlanders with, so I wouldn’t if I were you.” he says. Jamie thanks him and tells the guys to take him back to within a mile of camp and leave him tied to a tree so he can be found.

John is actually pretty cool here. He says, “Dude, I owe you my life. I don’t really like it, you know? But dude, you’ll get a pass from me once. After that, I kill you, so there’s that, yeah?” and Jamie’s all, “Cool, thanks bro! I’m sure that’ll never end up in the plot of any of the future seasons.”

15. So with that done, Jamie says he’ll be punished for the crime of keeping the fires lit, instead of Dougal, and once that’s over with, they’ll go to the English camp and see what havoc they can get into. Dougal wants to go, but he’s once again ordered to stay behind, because he has a job to do. “And what’s that?” Dougal asks. “Stay back here and play sentry and try not to fuck it up again, yeah?” Jamie answers. And with that finished, he takes off his shirt and shows his scars and tells Murtagh to do his worst.

Then it’s off to raid the countryside, and steal the cotter pins from the English cannons. And the wheels. That they’ll burn. Oh, and kill the ONE LONE Sentry that has been tasked with this job because that’s what accounts for superior English planning these days.

16. The boys come back triumphant, ready to Drink whiskey and burn cannon wheels, and Jamie goes up to Claire with the cotter pins from said implements of mass destruction. He’s starting to get randy with her, which she is all into by the way, because Mama Claire isn’t going to pass up a chance to get under the kilt as it were. But instead he says, “Yeah, pack up sugarcakes, we gotta bounce. The English are hot on our tails here, and we have to make like a tree and get the heck out of here.”

“What are you Biff Tannen all the sudden? It’s make like a tree and leave.” she says. “Yeah, that too.”

And then, we see a highly trained highlander army marching under banners and music while Jamie rides on horseback inspecting the troops and seeing that they are indeed fine. They finally get to main Jacobite army and Dougal rides up, all smiles. This is what he’s wanted to begin with. Jamie says, “Go ahead and do the honors and tell Prince Charlie that the army of James Fraser is here.

Dougal’s all, “Damn, right.” and rides off. The rest of the guys are left sitting there getting the pool ready to figure out how many “Mark Mes” it’ll take before Dougal is driven insane and kill the ponce. Next week it’s the battle of Prestonpans. And from what I hear, there’s another box of hankies in our future. Till next week folks, thanks for being patient with me. Work has been a killer this week.

Now here it is, your Jamie Fraser Mooney Eye Pic of the week.