307 Creme De Menthe

Hey folks! Welcome back to another recap. You know, sometimes, there’s an episode of a tv show that doesn’t hit on all cylinders for me. Just like the “Fly” episode of Breaking Bad, there’s always an episode that just doesn’t hit the mark. This one seemed like a filler episode for me. It’s not that I don’t like it, trust me. Like “The Watch” episode in season 1, there’s something about it I don’t really like.

Now, I’m not a book purist by any means. And I’m not saying they phoned it in here. I think they had a benchmark episode they had to put a lot of resources into last week, and it took away from the following. Episode 6 was the “Entrance of Negan and killing XXX” episode. Everything went downhill after that. I hope and pray it doesn’t happen with our favorite time-traveling romance drama.

Anyway, enough preamble. Let’s get to it. This episode gets a B+ from me. Maybe if I watch it again without interruptions, I’ll have another take on it.

1. So here’s our fair damsel in distress getting roughed up by Baldy Excise Man. He throws her on the bed and she grabs a knife. He chuckles, like, What is a woman going to do? Apparently, you haven’t met this particular woman yet. This is Claire Fraser, MD, and Brit Killer extraordinaire.
So she stabs him when he gets too close and he says, “Well, I was going to fuck you, now I’m just going to kill you.” and I’m thinking, “Good Luck! If Jack Randall couldn’t do it, what makes you think no-name NPC lackey can?” She’s on the bed and he goes to get her again, but he dodges out of the way of another stab, loses his footing, and goes down on the fireplace mantle with a scrunching thud.
And it’s lights out for Baldy. But then Jamie comes in, sees the scene and surmises that the situation has been wrapped up just right.

He’s all, “What happened?” and Claire explains the guy attacked her and he was looking for Jamie’s ledgers. But then he fell and knocked himself out. But then, baldy coughs and shows signs that he’s alive. Well, Doctor Claire Fraser goes into full action of saving a life.

Jamie says, “What are you doing?” and Claire’s all, “Duh, trying to save his life.” Jamie stands there for a second trying to process this information. “But he just attacked you, why?” and Claire says matter of factly, “I’m a doctor. It’s kind of my thing, now.”

Claire, I get it, I really do. But this is a different time, something that Jamie doesn’t have time to tell her when the door knocks and Jamie opens it to find Fergus and Jeanne.

Jeanne is shocked there’s a guy in the room and it’s not a customer. Claire says she was attacked and Baldy is still alive. Jamie says, “Let God take him,” and Claire is all, “I have to try to save his life. Please help me.”

Jamie’s anger is rising here, because he’s a man of the eighteenth century and no stranger to death. Claire is a woman of the twentieth century and hates anyone to die, even if it’s a guy who just tried to take her life. Damn that Hippocratic oath!

So she gives Jeanne a list of things to get, and says she has to go to an apothecary to get some meds.

Jamie roots through the guy’s pockets and finds identification showing he’s an excise man. He’s all, “Damn, Sir Percival must be wanting to find the casks and make true on his promise to get more money because I’ve been expanding my business to other towns.” Claire is seriously wondering what her husband has been up to all this time while she’s been away.

So jamie sends Fergus out to gather the lads. Jeanne tells Claire that she’ll send up a discreet woman to clean up the mess, and then they leave.

2. An Argument Is Brewing.

Jamie says, “This guy doesn’t deserve your mercy.” and Claire is all, “I have to try and save him. Once he’s stable you can turn him over to the authorities.” and Jamie scoffs.

“Listen, I don’t think you understand where you are, Sassenach. This is a different time. If the authorities come in and find you in a brothel, they’ll mistake you for a hoor (again). They’ll arrest you for assaulting a king’s officer. You’ll be hanged.”

“I’ll have to make it quick, then,” she says. Jamie’s losing his cool quickly here. He picks up a gun and says, “Stubborn as always. Do what you must, but I have casks to get rid of. I’ll send a guy up to take care of this dude while you’re away.” but then as he leaves, he gives her this look that tells her, “We’ll talk later.”

2. In the basement, Mr. Willoughby says that he admires a woman who respects the sanctity of life. So Jamie tells him that he can go up and keep the guy company while Claire goes to the apothecary.

There’s general talk about why Claire would be trying to save the guy’s life. One of the dudes says, “I’d love to murder him. Been wanting to take out an exciseman for a while.” which is shorthand for wanting to kill an agent of the British crown. Fergus says, “Claire has always been a unique woman.” True dat Frenchy.

Talk turns to the print shop. What if Percival tries to take a look there. “I don’t keep casks there,” says Jamie. “But you do keep other things there,” says Skinny Boy. “Yeah, but he doesn’t know that, and they’re well hidden. That is unless my boneheaded nephew does something stupid like going to the print shop wi’ a hoor.”

Speaking of boneheaded nephews, he turns to young Ian and says “Go sell the casks. Get whatever you can out of them.” Ian says he won’t disappoint his uncle, and Jamie’s all, “That’s why I trust you with this.”

3. At the apothecary, Claire meets a man whose sister is suffering from nervousness and a weak mind. But this is Claire Fraser, and if we know one thing about this woman, she doesn’t wait while NPC’s prattle on. “Dude, I’ll treat your sister for anything she wants. I’m trying to save a guy’s life here.

“For free? Because of my generosity?” he says. Claire is all, “Whatever, that’s fine.” Then she tells the apothecary what she needs.

“What’s all this for?” he asks. “Oh, just a head wound. Can you make it quick? I’m trying to do my doctor thing, here.” Two shillings later, Claire pulls out an enormously large coin purse. The old guy next to her looks like a starving man eyeing a Christmas turkey.

Turns out the old guy is Archibald Campbell. And his sister Margaret suffers from dementia or visions or something that makes her rave like a madwoman. He tells Claire where they live and she can drop by anytime.

4. Turns out young Ian has spent points on haggling and diplomacy. There’s a guy who looks strangely like the blacksmith from the Wedding episode.

They go back and forth on pricing. Ian wants seventy-five crowns for the liquor. The guy says “Fifty, and no more. I know the risk I’m taking on here. But Ian wants seventy-five. So he throws in three casks of Crème De Menthe. The dude relents and gives him the coin. Then he says, “I’ll send up a couple of guys stronger than you because you’re kind of a wiry pipsqueak.”

Then talk goes to Auntie Claire. Fergus explains that he remembered her from before.

“Yes, but if she killed en, they must have deserved it,” Ian says. “But now she’s gotten us into a bit of a pickle, no?” Ian’s nod says it all.

5. Back at the subplot that could have ended about twenty minutes ago, Claire comes in to find the guy has woken up and Jamie has had to tie him down and keep him gagged. She’s all, “Dude, what happened?” and Jamie explains that he woke up while she was gone. And I’m wondering, “Why didn’t you kill him while Claire was gone?”

“Dude, you have to keep him quiet!” she says. Jamie asks if she knows a better way, and Claire gives the guy some laudanum which calms him down right away.

Then the door knocks, and it’s the second to last person Jamie wants to see or hear from. Percival has come to visit and is asking for Jamie. So he leaves Claire and Mr. Willoughby to resolve the overlong ‘Save the Excise Man’ subplot.

6. Downstairs with all the hoors parading about half-naked, Percival and a Wiry Looking scoundrel wait for Jamie.

“So what are you here for, Percy?” Jamie asks. “A midday romp?”

Percival says, “No, you know why we’re here. You’re hiding something from me and not keeping up with our bargain.” But the Wiry Looking dude is all, “Maybe we could do the whole hoor thing after we get done, aye?”

Jamie says, “You’re free to look, but you won’t find anything.” and Percival says we’ll see.

7. Upstairs, Claire is trying to save the Subplot. She takes out a bunch of surgical equipment that apparently was lying around the brothel. Because I know she didn’t bring that with her in the Batsuit. Then she takes out a huge drill and we are subjected to Surgical Noises as she grinds it into the man’s skull.

Ye Ten Cho looks on in wonder as she tries to unstop the blood clot on the guy’s brain.

8. Downstairs, Percival and the Wiry guy are escorted into the basement where they find a patch of liquid on the floor. When it turns out to be water, Jeanne explains, “Yeah, we have leaky pipes. That’s why I can’t store anything down here. Duh!”

So, defeated, the guys start to leave. “I know you’re up to something, but I’m too stupid to figure it out. I’ll be watching, you Mr. Malcolm!”

9. Jamie comes into the room and sees Claire is sad. Mr. Willoughby says “Honorable wife tried her best, but she couldn’t save the man’s life.” Jamie is all, “Great, I’m not going to mourn for a guy who tried to kill my wife. Go get Leslie and Hayes to get rid of the body.”

So Cho leaves and Jamie and Claire have a heart to heart about medical care from different time periods. Claire is all, “If we were in Boston, with a real surgery room I could have saved him.” and Jamie’s all, “Uh, yeah, you’re in the eighteenth century, lass. Here, you’re lucky if you don’t die from getting a splinter infection. You do realize you’re not in 1968, right?”

Claire says she knows, but that doesn’t make it any harder. She’s spent the last fourteen years trying to respect human life and save lives, but it turns out that it’s harder here than she thought. Then she says, “I’ve caused you so much trouble.”

He tells her “The last twenty years I’ve been living in the shadows. But when you came back, it’s as if the sun returned and cast out the darkness.” and I’m all, “Dude, too much. Really? Way to make it harder for other guys, Fraser!”

Then she says she has another patient to see. Jamie asks who it is, and Claire says, “Margaret Campbell. She’s gone barmy, and needs me to check her out.”

Jamie, ever the protector, says she doesn’t know these people. He’ll send Fergus with her. She says, “Like you said, I’ve crossed thousands of miles and two hundred years to get to you. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine getting across town.”

“You’ll come back?” he asks. And he looks like maybe she won’t because this whole eighteenth-century experience may have turned her off and maybe she want proper surgical equipment and hot and cold running water again.

“Duh, yeah!” she says, because, all that aside, why wouldn’t any red-blooded woman come back to Jamie Mooney Eye Fraser?

10. Then it’s on to Fergus and Ian in a tavern talking about girls and sex and how one time Fergus had a spiritual experience with two women at the same time. Because Fergus. I mean, look at that kid. He’s probably swimming in ladies. And that manage a trois was when he was like fifteen or something.

Ian says he’s never had a woman before and he doesn’t know what to do. So Fergus tells him to basically get them drunk, tell them they’re the most beautiful woman they’ve ever seen, and the most important part, repeat as needed. But don’t let them pass out because then the night is over.

Well, as it happens, there is a girl that Ian has his sights on, so Fergus calls her over then says to Ian, “You‘re on your own. I gotta bounce.”.
The barmaid comes to the table and Ian is like a deer in the headlights. She says, “What can I get you?” and he’s all, “Nothing…”

“Nothing? Your friend just called me over,” she says. And then Ian can’t hold back anymore and says, “You’re the bonniest lass I’ve ever seen. Have a drink with me, anything you want.” So she sits down and smiles and says, “Wiskey.” Ahhh, a girl after Ian’s heart.

SIDE NOTE: I really wanted this whole sex thing to happen after the bookshop burned like in the book. It was so much more hysterical. But who am I, not a book purist, that’s for sure.

Meanwhile, back in the corner, there’s Oily Guy watching with delight because he’s going to follow young Ian to find the contraband liquor and be the hero to his buddy sir Percy.

11. Claire goes to the Campbell’s and finds Margaret hunched over a table, unresponsive. Turns out, Archie’s been giving her laudanum. He tells Claire, that’s the only thing that works to stop her ravings. When Claire goes to see what’s wrong, the woman yells out a helping of gibberish.

Claire says, “No more laudanum,” and makes it clear that it will do bad things for her. Turns out, these two are a traveling fortune teller team. And if Margaret accosts people in the street and tells them their fortune, they don’t make any money. He wants people to come to them so they can earn coin. Because bilking strangers for hard earned cash is kind of their thing.

Claire gives Archie a list of things he can give her, and most involve herbal teas. “We can’t do that, we need tonics for the voyage ahead. We’re going to the West Indies. And I’m afraid she won’t be able to take the trip.

“Why not?” Claire asks. And Archie says, “Because if the sailors hear about a madwoman on the ship, they may throw her overboard.”

“Fair point,” says Claire.

12. Ian and Bonnie Barmaid are in the print shop and Ian is trying to sing to her. Trying being the operative word, because this is a case of a bad karaoke night. Kid couldn’t hold a tune if it was handed to him with Velcro gloves. But it’s charming the girl in it’s own way. He’s drunk, she’s kinda tipsy and they’re both having a good time, so what’s the harm, aye?

In the process of having a good time, they start getting busy and Ian wants to go at it horsey style because that’s how the Murrays and Frasers do it. She’s all, “What are you doing?” and he says, “Well, that’s how horses do it, ye ken?” and she says, “Do I look like a horse?”

No, you’re the bonniest lass in the world. “Let me show you how to do it because I’ve done this a lot,” she says. And she seems experienced enough because minutes later, he’s having the time of his life and she’s riding HIM like a horse. (See what I did there?)

13. Back at the brothel, Claire and Jamie are having dinner, talking about their future. He wants to stay in Edinborough, she wants to start up a healers shop somewhere in the print shop, or on her own. He is still not telling her about a certain individual whose name rhymes with hairy.
And the viewers can’t figure out why. Maybe he’s trying the avoidance thing because he’s hoping she won’t find out.

Jamie, meet me at camera three.

Dude, they always find out. They’re smarter than you. You may think that Claire doesn’t have the smarts to make it in the world without you, but she does. It’s kind of her thing, really. You’ve seen her in action. She’s no lightweight. You can tell her, she won’t go away. Because if you don’t tell her, you’ll have a hard time of it later on when she does find out.

But that’s not my place because you’re best friend is here looking for his kid. Jamie tells Claire to keep quiet about seeing Ian and that he’ll explain later. Seems that Jamie is in some kerfuffle with Ian and Jenny about the kid and hasn’t had time to properly bring Lady Jane up to speed on the whole thing.

14. Jamie and Claire go downstairs where Old Ian is standing there getting looked at by hoors. When he sees Claire, it’s like seeing a ghost. Only he doesn’t faint like another guy did the last episode. Ian and Claire hug, and he’s still got this look on his face like he doesn’t believe what is happening.

“It’s you, lass,” he says with incredulity. “How did you get here? Se thought you were dead.”

“Well,” she begins. “it’s a long story involving Boston, the colonies, and has nothing to do with time travel, becoming a surgeon, or being a witch. So how you doing?”

This puts him at ease and he says to Jamie, “Ian has run off again. Do you know where he is?” And Jamie plays it cool like, “Nope, haven’t seen him. Don’t know what’s going on. But I’m sure he’ll be okay, got it?”

Ian tells them the kid’s been gone for a few weeks and Jenny is right pissed and worried about this since it is the third time he’s R-U-N-N-O-F-T. Maybe he’s been taken by a press gang. Jamie’s response is basically, “He wouldn’t last a day on a press gang. The kid is 90 pounds soaking wet. Maybe he’s with a lassie right now. You never know. But I’m sure he’s safe. Or a reasonable facsimile of safe. Go home, I’ll look around here and see if I can find him.”

This relieves Ian a little bit. I’m sure he knows Jamie is hiding something here, and I don’t understand why he lies to his best friend. Probably doesn’t want to upset his sister and brother in law with the misdeeds he gets into and bringing young Ian into the mix with him. But he takes Jamie’s word for the fact that he hasn’t seen Ian and leaves.

15. But it’s the good old coitus interruptus because Ian and Hottie Barmaid both hear noises somewhere else. They run to the window in the print shop and see Oily Guy rummaging around.

“You need to go, but I’ll catch up with you later, cowgirl,” Ian says. So she heads out and Ian confronts the dude.

“Get out of my uncle’s shop!” Ian yells. Well, the dude doesn’t comply because he is an agent of the crown and a crumb all to boot. So he tells Ian that he doesn’t have to leave. Well, naturally, a fight ensues and the man slams Ian up against the wall.

The wall where the safety catch to the treasonous material is. Yeah, how convenient. The guy brings them out and says, “Well, I came here for liquor, but I’ll take these instead.” And Ian tries to stop him but the guy pulls a gun and shoots at a conveniently random glass of some flammable liquid, which starts a fire. Then Ian sprays some kind of acid in the guy’s face and Oily Dude runs out of the shop.

Which is now burning.

To the ground.

With Ian in it.

16. Jamie and Claire are back in the room and she confronts him with the lie they both told Ian. He’s all, “Well, you lied to him about your return, so we’re both in the wrong. And didn‘t we lie all of season 2?”

Listen, telling him a version of the truth and actually telling him I’m a time-traveling witch from the 20th century are two different things here. But Jamie has no reason to lie to Ian about the whereabouts of his son. Jamie’s all, “I’m trying to teach him the ways of the world. He’s like my own son.” But he’s not your son, and you don’t have any reason to keep him away from his parents or lie to his father, Jamie. Claire says, “You have no idea what it is to be a worried parent!”

He stops, turns and says, “I’ve never worried? I didn’t pray every day for the child to be safe? I give a damn why you’ve paraded her around like a whore in a bikini! But I’ve never worried? I worry every day, about all my children! You don’t get to claim sole responsibility for caring about the kids we’ve spawned.”

Touché’ Jamie. Let her have it. You don’t think he worried about his daughter he’s never seen? You don’t think he’s worried about his son who he had to leave when the kid was young? The kid he’s pretty much never going to see the rest of his life? Yeah, Fathers worry about their kids too. My kids are adults now, and I still worry if they’re getting enough to eat and have a roof over their heads. So, Lady Jane, you don’t get to claim sole rights to worrying about the children you helped spawn.

All this is cut rather short when Madame Jeanne comes in and her googly eyes tell Jamie that the print shop is burning down. And I say googly eyes because this woman must be the spawn of Marty Feldman.

17. So the print shop is burning to the ground and everyone is standing in the street watching like

Our Dynamic Duo come to the shop and see everyone standing around. Jamie then thinks of Ian, who he let sleep in the shop. He grabs Claire’s cape and runs to the door of the shop, against her protestations.

He dons the cape like a crusader and goes through the door. Then he sees Ian down on the second floor and

And suddenly I’m in a Batman episode, yeah?

Outside, the firemen finally arrive. But it is far too late to slow the fire with their eighteenth-century equipment. The best they can do is slow it down enough for Jamie to come out of the shop with Ian over his shoulder.

Which happens after a long slow shot of the awnings burning and Claire watching anxiously. Then, there he is, with the kid. He runs down the stairs of the shop while the awning collapses behind him. Yay!

18. Outside the shop, the lads are recovering. Mr. Willoughby and Fergus are there two take stock of the situation and help out wherever is needed. Claire is giving aid to Ian, who tells Jamie all that happened.

“The Oily Dude was there looking for the casks. But he found your pamphlets. Sorry, my bad.” Jamie is more forgiving of the lad than most people would be since the seditious pamphlets could lead to his hanging.

So Jamie pulls the guys aside and tells Willoughby to pay off the workers. The print shop is gone, so there’s no need to do any more smuggling so the lads won’t be needed anymore.

He tells Fergus to find the Oily Dude and do what he has to do to make sure the guy doesn’t make it to Percy with the pamphlets. Oh, and call this guy after you do that, because man, I am going to need it.

Then he goes back to Claire and says, “Okay, Sassenach, I guess it’s off to Lallybroch to take Ian home. I cannae say my sister will be pleased with either of us.”

No, she won’t Jamie. No, she won’t. But we’ll get into that next time, ken?

Overall a solid episode of TV. I know it’s an Adaptation. There’s just something off about this episode and I can’t put my finger on it. We have 6 left so I’m sure there’s going to be some really good ones once they get past Lallybroch and sail the high seas. I have high hopes for the rest of the season, and, judging by past seasons, I won’t be let down.

Now here it is, your Jamie Mooney Eye Pic of the Week.