309 The Doldrums

Hey everyone, did you miss me? Wow, I know it’s been a while since my last recap but the holidays and snow really cramped my ability to fully recap or even watch the show we all know and love. But I’m back, ready to dish out a new recap of Outlander season three in the coming weeks just to catch up and get ready for season 4. (I Know I’ll be done by then.)

Anyway, since you’ve waited so long, I’ll just get to it, aye?

1. Let’s talk about those credits, yeah? New scenes, new music, new everything. This is just a taste of where the rest of the series will be taking us. Once again, Mr. Macreary goes all in on the soundtrack and it’s wonderful. Lots of jungles ahead, too.

2.We are in a port with Jamie and Claire about the voyage ahead. At first viewing, I thought they were in France because that’s where they were supposed to be in the book. But I have to put away my book purist here because I remember it’s an adaptation. But I would have liked to see them at least go visit the grave of Faith, just to have a little bit of closure or something akin to emotion about the first baby. It’s unsettling that they would gloss over this moment that offers to show some emotional connection between Jamie and Claire that they haven’t been able to have since she returned. I feel there needed to be more of a coming together than just the A Malcolm episode. This would have proved a quick reminder to both of them what truly matters to them in their lives going forward. I don’t like the fact that Faith has been forgotten the rest of this series.

Jared is explaining to them how Jamie is going to be the Supercargo in charge of the cargo of the ship, which is of great relief to the captain of the Artemis. He explains that the ship carrying Ian is the Bruscha, and is more likely heading for the West Indies to be sold for about 30 pounds, which is what a kid of his particular talent would be worth. Oh, and by the way, the Artemis is going to be bobbing like a cork, but luckily you have a physician on board. Jared gives Jamie this knowing look like, yeah, I know you have seasickness, so having this lady around will help.

Then, the two guys from the print shop come up. I’m calling them Little Angus and New Rupert because I can’t remember their names and to me, this is the season 3 version of our two lovable lugs from season one and two. Also, these guys are passable as comic foils, but not up to the high standards generated by the original comic duo. They explain that everything is ready to go, and they should get going if they’re going to stay ahead of the weather. Little Angus wants to wait, but New Rupert is adamant. Before they go, though, LA tells Jamie that their cargo from Lallybroch has been brought on board by Fergus, who they’ve been waiting for.

Then, They’re ready to go, and Claire asks about Jenny. Jamie says, yeah, she still thinks we’re in Paris, so there’s that, but I’ve sent her a letter. And I can imagine what it entailed.

My dearest Jenny

Hello. How are you? I am fine. I hope you are fine. Soo… yeah, you’re not going to believe this but I think I messed up. Actually, thinking isn’t the word, I really did mess up. I mean literally shit the bed with this whole ‘Getting the money from Selkie Island’ situation. You’re going to laugh, actually. Well, maybe not. Anyhoo, so here’s what happened.

We got to the place I remembered and everything was going great. Ian went out to the water, dived in, and swam with little effort to the island. While he was there, Claire was going on about not wanting to be my wife, and how we shouldn’t be together anymore, and I was trying to convince her to stay while giving her the patented Jamie Fraser Mooney eye. When all the sudden, the unexpected happened.

I mean, who would have thought for a million years that a pirate ship would show up at that very spot at that exact time? I certainly didn’t. Anyway, So there was a pirate ship, we tried to warn young Ian, but it was to no avail, and they captured him.

Yes, you read that right, sis. Ian has been captured by Pirates. Now we are sailing to the West Indies to find him. It’s okay, we’ll get him, because only the worst writer would actually write in the death of the lad. So we are fine there. So, sorry, things took a turn for the worse. But dinna fash it, we’ll get him back. Maybe we can find a place in the States, bed down, not make any other problems for ourselves, and live happily ever after.

Then again, fate being the capricious bitch she is, we’ll probably become embroiled in another revolution against England, Ian will be absconded by Indians, and Claire will be accosted by bandits or something. Hell, one of these days, who knows, maybe I’ll actually meet my daughter and her ne’er do well bookish husband that I will probably beat up and sell to Indians at the first meeting.

Anyway, hope you are well. I know this is all too hard to take, but I’m your brother so you have to love me, ken? It’s okay, though. Nothing bad will ever happen to you because you’re not a main character. Give my love to Ian and your seventeen bairns and their families.

Love to all,
Jamie.

P.S. Sassenach says hello. She asks you do her the favor of not inviting Leghair back to any family gatherings because that would be awkward. KTHX Bye

3. On the Artemis, the crew members are going by our lovebirds and touching a post with a lucky horseshoe on it. Claire asks, “What’s all that for?” and Jamie explains that there is a trifecta of evil spirits on the boat. First, she’s a woman, so there’s bad luck there, and he’s a redhead, so there’s that. Then, of course, he’s got that whole left handed thing going on, so that adds up to the fact that they’re about to experience a ton of bad Juju on this voyage. She’s all, “No, that’s not it, we’re just at the mercy of a capricious goddess who likes to cause us all kinds of misfortune, that’s all. It’s inevitable.”

“Be that as it may, Sassenach, just touch the fucking thing already, will you?” he says. He touches it, and while every crew member looks on at here, she touches it also. So everyone is satisfied and this is going to be a lovely trip, right?

Cue the Gilligan’s Island theme now.

4. Next, we get to meet Fergus and his wonderful bride, none other than Marsali Mackenzie Fraser. Daughter of Leoghaire. Which is a surprise to Jamie because he didn’t know the two were courting. Now it seems that the two are married. Technically, of course, since it wasn’t in front of a priest, in a church, with candles about, and a wonderful wedding dress and all that, but married all the same. Fergus explains they’ve been handfasted, which is pretty much the same thing, so Jamie calls the young boy aside and says, “Did ye do the deed?” and Fergus answers, “No, we just kind of did the whole thing before we came on board, so we haven’t done all the necessaries, no.” So then he tells the Captain that they need to run the ship around.

The captain says that they are too far away, and they’ll be stopping again for a few last supplies at St. Ives. There Jamie can put her in the hands of some good people to send her home. But she is adamant. She isn’t going. “Did you tell your mother?” Jamie asks. She says, “Yeah, I texted her. Whatevs.”

Jamie tells her that she has to go, there is no way around that. Marsali says, “You’re bringing the hoor, so I’m coming. Or did you forget that you left my mother for this woman, and brought shame on our family? No? I didn’t think so. So fuck yeah, I’m coming, Ginger. And no mistake.” Marsali is totally giving Jamie what for here. And he deserves it. Love this kid’s spunk. So Jamie says that she has to return home. To which Marsali says, “I’ll tell everyone that Fergus and I already did the Horizontal mambo, so if you send me back I’ll be ruined, and nobody wants that, ken?” So Jamie says, Fine. You can come with us, sinve you have m over a barrel, but you two can’t stay together in the same room. You’ll room with Claire, and I’ll room with Fergus.

Claire is none too happy with this, and tells Jamie, “We’ve got to get you to bed. You’re going to be sick.” and he’s all, “No I’m not,” because, as usual, he misses all the signs that Claire is wanting to get him on his own with her so he can get a right good talking to.

He goes with her and she’s all, “Wait a minute Ginger, we haven’t been together for twenty years, and now you want to do it another three months? Yeah, this girl ain’t down with that.” But he’s all, “I have to do it for the girl’s sake. I’m not happy about this either but they’ve put us in a sticky situation.” Claire says, “If you really wanted sticky situations, you would have had us room together. But that’s all over now, isn’t it?”

 

 

5. In the cabin, Claire is trying to help Jamie’s seasickness with a cup of ginger tea and he tries it, but it’s not to his liking. Jamie says he couldn’t believe Fergus and Marsali have been courting since August, and Claire agrees they haven’t thought this whole ‘marriage for a lifetime thing’ through. But then, neither did Jamie and Claire when they were first married. “Ours was arranged,” Jamie says.

Then she notices a trunk in the corner of the room and asks about it. “That’s our things from Lallybroch,” he says. And she’s all, “Our things? I didn’t have any things at Lallybroch, I thought.” Then she gets up and looks through the trunk. And as he’s getting out of bed, I notice those super fly boots he’s wearing and suddenly want a pair. I mean, those are totally awesome boots he’s got on there, yeah?

She sees that they have all the outfits she wore in Paris and then puts two and two together. “Wait,” she says. “The cloak Marsali was wearing, that was mine, wasn’t it?” and Jamie’s all, “Guilty as charged, Sassenach.” Then he goes on to tell her he couldn’t part with them because they reminded him of her while she was gone. Aww…

Just then, New Rupert comes to the door and tells Claire she’s needed. A doctor’s work is never done apparently.

6. In the hold, there’s a guy who has suffered an accident. Claire is doing her best to help the poor guy, and after a quick diagnosis tells him he doesn’t have a concussion. The crew standing around are like, “What’s that?” and she explains “It’s a head hurty thing, don’t worry, you won’t die.”

The captain comes in and asks what happened. The crewman says that he was doing some routine stuff and something fell on his head. Well, the next thing you know, everyone is pointing fingers as to who didn’t touch the horseshoe and Claire’s all, “Dude, you all realize that’s all just a bunch of hokum, right? I mean, what about science and the randomness of life?”

And all the guys are like, “Nope. We don’t believe in all that. It must be bad luck. That’s the only explanation.” That’s when Claire realizes she’s in the eighteenth century again and sighs. The captain invites her and Jamie to dine with him later on that night so he can go over a few things. But she says, “I don’t know how he’s going to get there with his crippling seasickness and all,” and the Captain says, “You’ll do.”

7. Later, Jamie is admonishing Fergus about the marriage. “You don’t know her,” Jamie says. “Fergus says that neither were he and Claire, but that’s worked out fine. That was different, Jamie explains. They were forced to marry. Then Fergus gets all poetic. “If you were forced to marry, then I am forced to breathe. My heart is forced to beat,” he says. What a cute kid. Jamie then asks if Marsali knows about his past. Fergus says, “Well, she knows about the growing up in a brothel bit, and that I was a pickpocket.”

Then Fergus says that he hasn’t been with any other women since he met her, and he saved himself for her, doesn’t that mean anything?

And Jamie says, “not if you can’t be honest with her.” and I’m thinking, wait a minute. The one thing you should have been honest about, you didn’t say a damn thing, Mr. Pot. Why do you think you have to go on this stupid voyage to begin with, Mr.? huh? Yeah, I thought so.

8. That night, Claire is having dinner with the captain and discuss the nature of superstitions. Basically, it boils down to her not believing in them and the captain saying that it doesn’t matter if she does or not. The men do, and since I’m responsible for them, I have to as well. It’s the way things are run around here, and since I’m the boss, my way goes. The sooner you realize that the better off you’ll be. It’s another case of where Claire forgets she’s in the eighteenth century and not at home where everyone knows science and they just put a man on the moon.

9. At the same time, Mr. Willoughby is trying to get Jamie to submit to Acupuncture to cure his seasickness, which has progressed in the time since he first came on board the ship. I mean he is ralphing up some heavy duty bile there. And the noises he’s making makes me want to as well. Yuk. Willoughby is telling him that if he doesn’t do something about it, Jamie’s balls will clench together and fall off. Well, this seals the deal because Jamie wants all his man parts intact for obvious reasons.

10. In the girl’s room, Claire and Marsali are getting ready for bed when the girl says, “You can have the bigger bunk.” Claire is all, “That’s sweet of you, but no amount of placating me will make me tell Jamie to let you and Fergus room together. It’s none of my business.”

“Oh, you want to stay out of our business after dropping out of the sky and ruining my family? Daddy may think you’re gold on a stick, but I still think you’re a hoor.”

11. Jamie is seemingly better, all hale and hearty, drinking a mug of Ginger tea and not showing any signs of seasickness at all when he meets Claire in the morning. She’s all, “So it worked, huh?” and he says, “Must be. Has nothing at all to do with tiny needles all up in my face or nothing. Just this gross awful tea you fixed me. Miracle cure, that.”

Marsali and Fergus come up to him and she gets in Jamie’s face, like she does. “Fergus told me all about his other women and I don’t care because lurve.” Claire calls Jamie over and says, “Listen, maybe you should allow this because you know, US? I mean, come on, Ginger. It’s been how long since we’ve knocked boots? Really, you aren’t feeling it too? Besides, if you keep them apart, it might just fizzle out.”

“I dinna ken what ‘fizzle out’ means, but I get your meaning. That’s what I’m afraid of if they’re together.” Jamie answers. Then he goes to the both of them and says, “Yeah, I can’t allow it to happen.” And Marsali’s look is priceless here.

12. Claire comes out to the deck to see what Mr. Willoughby is writing on the deck. He explains that he’s writing poetry, and then shows her a scroll. It’s a story of his life in China. And when he tells it, he has to let it go. This is a bit of foreshadowing wherein he will be a momentary hero. I love that he isn’t a caricature like he was in the book. The writers have given him a certain nobility that wasn’t portrayed in Voyager the same way and it’s a refreshing change to the character.

13. So then it’s a montage where Claire is doing her doctor thing by stitching up the sailors and making medicine. The guys are going about their duties, steering the boat, drinking rum, and singing sea shanties.

14. Claire is walking through the ship to tell Jamie about the shanties when she barges in to find him getting acupuncture from Willoughby. The Chinaman is trying to apologize and hastily removes himself from the room so as to avoid an argument he sees brewing. But Claire is more amused by the whole thing than anything. She asks why he didn’t tell her about it and he’s all, “I didn’t want you to think you didn’t belong here, so I’ve been having you make the tea for me to keep you happy.”

She’s all, “that’s so cute, but no, if this is working for you, keep it up. I still love you Jamie, and I’m not going anywhere without you. So don’t worry about it.” that’s when he notices that the ship isn’t moving and they go up to the deck to see what’s the mater.

15. On deck, folks are milling around when they notice that the ship is caught in what is known as The Doldrums. This is a place in the ocean where there is little to no wind. And since the ship relies on the wind, then it’s pretty much a given that they’ll be there for a while. The sailors are all, “Dude, somebody didn’t touch the horseshoe.” Claire says, “Well why don’t we all line up and all of us touch it again.” Little Angus says, “yeah, that’s a good idea!” because obviously, he has doubts about whether he did or not and that’s why everyone is thinking it’s bad luck. Besides, one sailor explains, it has to be done prior to the start of the voyage or it doesn’t count.”

Silly superstitions. I wonder if seamen have the same ones today.

16. Up on deck later, Jamie is looking up at the moon and Claire comes up to him. They talk about the moon, and she tells him that it is a rocky place, barren and devoid of life. Pretty much like her marriage to Frank. She tells him that there were men going to the moon when she left to come back. Then she recounts the story of Goodnight Moon, a child’s book that she used to read Bree. She wonders if she’ll ever see her again, and Jamie says, “Yeah, but not til next season, aye?”

And Claire says, “Dude, spoilers!”

But its such a simple scene of their love together. I have a hard time seeing that some fans say the story is rushed. This is really a nice interlude, and I look forward to more of them happening in coming episodes.

17. Well, the doldrums last a bit longer than anyone expected, and tensions are running high. Especially when the water starts getting rancid. Talk once again turns to the fact that someone didn’t touch the fucking horseshoe, and at this point, I’m sick of this whole subplot. Apparently, the bilge water messed up the ale, so they are running low on supplies to drink. And when they guys can’t get ale, there’s going to be hell to pay.

18. In the captain’s cabin over dinner, the captain is saying the same thing. That if someone didn’t touch it, and the crew finds out, then, well, he can’t stop the men from throwing someone over. Because that’s how superstitions work. Mass hysteria leads to murder in the eighteenth century apparently. Jamie says, “You’ll not be throwing any of my men overboard, captain.” and when Jamie says it with that grave voice he has, you tend to believe it.

19. In the hold, a few guys are talking about who did and didn’t touch the horseshoe. Little Angus tells New Rupert that he doesn’t think he touched it, and if the guys find out, they’re going to throw him overboard. New Rupert tells him that won’t happen, that they will have to get through him to do it. The guys leave the hold, but not before saying to Little Angus (who I have since found out is named Jonah but I like Little Angus better so that’s what I’ll use.) “You’re not long for this world, Jonah.”
20. So the next day, Little Angus is up in the rigging. He has been threatened enough and will go ahead and kill himself by jumping overboard. Well, Jamie is having none of it and decides to do the hero thing by climbing up the rigging to get him. The sailors are all yelling to let him go. Claire’s yelling at Jamie to come down and stop playing the hero. Everybody is yelling, screaming, and all attention is being paid to the guys on the rigging about to fall off.

Everybody except Willoughby, that is. He spies a pelican flying above the water and gets an idea. And I’m wondering if this is the point where he lassos him around the neck to get him to catch fish. But then he gets an idea.

He tells his story. “I am Ye Tien Cho! I was a homeless beggar on the streets in Beijing when I came to fall in love with the emperor’s wife. I wanted to have sex with women, and I’m a great lover, and women are beautiful and I’m going to spend half of this monologue explaining how much I love them and how they are compared to ripe fruits. Like peaches, and strawberries, and plums and grapes and other things that have a roughly round fruit shape.

‘But the women here are ghastly because they cover up too much and they don’t let me touch their feet, which are like little cherries, by the way. Oh, and they’re a bunch of hoors, also, and I know I’m one lone Chinese guy on a boat full of sailors who probably want to kick my but, but I’ve got your attention with the whole women are like fresh peaches line. So that’s my story, and look, I’m going to throw my papers away now and watch how they flutter in the air with the wind behind them. Yeah, I did that, I brought back the wind!”

And he totally did because the sails flutter and everybody starts clapping him on the back like he did a great thing. Then one of the guys comes up, tears in his eyes, and says, “You tell a mean story, Chinaman. You need to write a book about two great lovers and how they have sex all the time.” and Willoughby says, “No, I can’t top the one we’re living in, yo.”

And speaking of great lovers who have sex all the time,

21. Jamie and Claire go off to do the deed while the guys are collecting rainwater. And I’m like, okay, episode 9, there’s another sex scene, however quick, it’s there. They’ve quadrupled season 2. Good on you, Ron and Co, good on ya. And this one is quick and hot and sweaty and awesome.

And they share another nice interlude while he strokes her hair.

22. So then a few days pass and it appears there’s a guest at the party. An English man of war is coming up on the Artemis and shoots a warning shot. Well, the captain says, let’s see what they need. Jamie is worried that they’ll be press ganged, and tells Claire, “We’ve been separated before, I’ll find you, dinna fash if that happens.”

The ships line up and the Captain of the English ship comes over to the Artemis.

I know, it’s lame. Come one, though its Star Wars. Everybody like Star Wars, right? Or am I the only one?

Anyway, the guy says there’s a plague on his ship and he needs a doctor. Well, naturally, everyone looks at Claire as a dead giveaway. Later, in the captain’s quarters, Claire asks the kid what the symptoms of this plague are. After hearing a litany of horrible things such as boils and coughing and fever, she surmises that they have smallpox. He asks if she can come back to the boat and tell them what to do about the plague and she says yes.

Well, Jamie isn’t going to have it. So he tells her she can’t go, and she explains a few things. “One, I’ve had a vaccination so I can’t get the plague, two, I have this thing called the Hippocratic Oath that I have to basically follow, and really? Do you think Diana would kill me off with the plague halfway through our third book? Get real, Ginger. I’m going.”

So he relents, and she goes over to the plague ship.

23. It’s worse than she thought. The men are infectious and smelly and most of them are sick. I mean, smelly sick, because she can’t breathe. It’s so bad she has to hold a hankie to hre face because she thinks she’s going to faint. But she sees that it is in fact smallpox. In the captain’s quarters she tells them what needs to be done. First, you must boil all the water on the ship, get the guys topside so they can get some fresh air and sunlight, bathe them, and get some alcohol and rub down every surface of the ship to ward against the infection and germs.

They’re all looking at her like, “What is this nonsense? Clean? Germs? Using alcohol for something other than drinking? Why of all the things!”

She says, “Well, if you want to stop the infection, you’ll do as I say. Now I have to be heading back to the other ship to get going back to my happy life of Jamie Tight Ass Fraser and the Artemis Gang.”

Not so fast, Lady Jane. Because no sooner than she has started back topside, the ship lurches forward and she is now trapped on the Porpoise. “What in the fresh hell is going on?” she asks the captain. And schoolboy is all

And roll credits.

So all in all a good episode. I can’t wait to see what happens next week. I’m sure Jamie is going to go all cray and try to get over to the Porpoise, so we’ll have to see. Mind you, I’ve not seen any other episodes to this point because I want to do them one at a time and don’t want to spoil my viewing or anything from the recaps from week to week. I know, crazy, right?

Now here it is, your Jamie Mooney eye pic of the week.